I recently got married, but we have been living for more than a year and I have 6 months of pregnancy. Two months ago, my husband little brother came out of nowhere to stay with us because he had problems in the place he was staying, he stated he would stay a couple of days... then it turned out to a couple of weeks. He never does anything around the house and it's a burden. My husband doesnt see it that way coz he says he's helping his brother. My mother in law, certainly doesnt care and I want to kick him out of our house. I have certainly told him to leave, but January 2007 seems to be so far... and my patience is ending. How can I get him out of my house, get my privacy back and have him finally understand that we are not a branch of his mom's house? I need peace for me and my unborn child, but this guy is lazy and I dont see him with any intention to move out! Thanks for your help!
2006-12-20 09:56:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi,
The first thing I would do is have a conversation with my husband. Explain to him your need for privacy and peace for the sake of the baby and the family. Go with a plan. Give a deadline until when you can give his brother move out. If your husband does not understand, then go to talk to his family to help you out. Talk to his brother and explain that he has overstayed his time in your home and you need to have space for the baby. In other words: Go home. It is time to go. Good luck.
2006-12-20 10:14:11 · answer #1 · answered by ppv918 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation - except it was MY brother that was staying. A couple of weeks turned in to 8 months. It didn't really bother me but my husband was fit to be tied! Finally, he had to tell me "It is either him or me." I told my brother that he was not worth the damage he was doing to my marriage. So out the door he went.
Your husband does not understand your feelings on this matter, trust me. I didn't until it got to the breaking point. You must be very, very, specific with him. Explain that it is your home too and you should have some say of who you share it with and he should back you up. You've given him the deadline of January. That is only a few days away, hang on til then but then he needs a boot in his *** to help him on his way.
2006-12-20 10:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by PRS 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a threshold to their patience and so the best thing to do would be to let your emotions develop naturally. You will eventually reach a point where you are unable to contain them and will explode. It seems to me that you're a fairly reasonable person and so any demonstration to your husbnad - or his brother - will be seen as serious. Failing this there's always a chance that the younger brother will not be able to tolerate a baby's cries etc - and well you always have the last resort of claiming post-natal depression - and enjoying the excuse to be wild and crazy. So look forward to what will be a beautiful baby and a lovely opportunity to be totally unreasonable. he'll move out for sure! x
2006-12-22 08:14:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have a meeting between your husband and his brother. Explain to them that you are pregnant and that you shouldn't be stressed out over a situation while pregnant. Tell him that you are pregnant and you can't clean up or move around as much and that your husband can't do all the work around the house. Tell him since he doesn't pay bills or rent the least he could do is clean up to show gratitude for you and your husband allowing him to stay with you basically for free.
2006-12-20 10:01:09 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being there, without any possibility to negotiate. So, a few tricks: invite a friend over, and tell him that he has to sleep on the coach for a few nights. Start arranging his room like if it wasn´t his (like paint it in pink!... if he asks, tell him that pink is a relaxing colour and someone suggested you that you should be a few hours a day in a pink room).... bottom line, make him feel uncomfortable, and make him realize that tha, is not his house. If you are pregnant, make him take care of you... ask him a lot of things, like bringing you the pillows in his room (he would have to sleep without pillows). Tell him that his colonne gives you nausea... I know this is mean... but I´ve being there.
2006-12-20 10:37:39 · answer #5 · answered by mmsc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you mentioned January, is this the time he has until he has to move out? if this was what was agreed upon then you need to stick with that. if he does not leave at the time agreed, then when you go to bed tell your husband that you can appreciate him trying to help his brother, but that he also need to appreciate you. tell him that by his brother being there you are stressed out, and tell him that his brother is doing nothing to help him self. that you want him to leave. you may have to tell your husband that until he can tell his brother that he has to move out, your going to stay some where less stressful, maybe that will open his eyes.
2006-12-20 10:12:37 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
help,
I met this guy, he lost his job and was living with boss, All I want to do was help me out to get back on his feet. I made miss by let move in and try get back on his feet with getting a job and a car, The place where I least at, said I couldn't have anyone living in apartment that not on least or I would get kick out. So I put on least, but he can be remove if he willing sign off on piece a paper. I not in love with him and my daughter does like him, I really want to be is friends, But doesn't get it, he want more thin that. I don't care anything about him. I want him just move out and get own place, but he refuse to do that, No matter what I said to him. I told found another girlfriend and move on. Not willing to that ever. I just want to get rid of him, Everyone tell I just move out and just get away from him.
2014-03-17 12:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by Rhonda P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a heart to heart chat with your husband. it seems it will have to be him that tells him to leave. that will avoid a fight between you,your brother -in-law and anyone else that thinks they are involved. tell him how you feel and tell him about the baby and how much work it is going to be. night feedings and all. and that you aarent going to have time to take care of his brothers messes and the house and extra laundry. you are going to have enough on your hands. and that you want to work it so that you two have a little free time together , before the baby comes. i hope this works honey. merry christmas.
2006-12-20 10:03:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and tell him that it is not appropriate, then have the brother do chores and pay rent that is enough to cover his fair share of the utilities, food and rent/mortgage. he will make it on his own if he has to pay like he is on his own in your house. You can't make it too comfortable, affordable or living in your house at no cost; he'll never leave.
2006-12-20 10:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by DH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont knw but when u have an answer tell me as my best friend broke up with her bf and THEN he moved in coz he didnt have anywhere to go. he now lives with her rent free, free food, free everything an scabs off them everyday but shes TOO NICE to tell him to get fncked.. i tell her what im bout to tell u: sit down an talk to ur husband about it first, make him know how you feel and tell him honestly what it is ur feeling especially with the baby - u have a right to have a homet o urself and to ur family especially wit a new bub on the way, ur hsubands brother shoudl respect that.
2006-12-20 10:04:17 · answer #10 · answered by WomanSoHeartless 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋