Hello-first of all im 27 weeks and i appreciate you taking the time to help :) I think most of it has to be my pregnancy hormones but the other half my personality...i have that once you do something horrible to me or if you cant stop being a drama queen i wont have anything to do with you. My In laws are the problem here...they said some really HORRIBLE stuff about me that wasnt even true...they apologized to me after my hubby yelled at them but they never went back to any of the ppl they said the nasty things about me to and told them it was a lie...They got mad when i said only my husband would be in the delivery room and that no his Mother could not be in there with me...I already dont want them to have anything to do with me, and definatly dont want them holding our baby...BUT i understand they are his family....any ideas on what could help in this situation? I have to live with these ppl the rest of my life and all it dose is stress me out to be around them...HELP!! Thanks!
2006-12-20 09:37:42 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If you don't want them in the delivery room then they shouldn't be in there. It is your choice who is in there with you. However, they are the grandparents and will probably want to hold the baby. Even though you don't get along with them, you should still allow them to be a part of the childs life, within reason of course.
Goodluck.
2006-12-20 09:42:01 · answer #1 · answered by *Logan's Mommy* 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think what you are going through is very normal. When I was pregnant (my boy is now 5) I couldn't stand to be around my mother in law. The father and I aren't together anymore and the best thing about it is that I don't have to deal with that witch anymore.
All I can suggest is that you keep your distance, if it happens again, try to show that you are the better person, rise above it and don't let it get to you.
Becoz it has happened now, while your pregnant and obviously at a very emotional time for you, even if you do get over it, the next time a simular situation happens with these people, all the old feelings will come back.
Also, when you are giving birth the choice is 100% yours as to who is in the delievery room and it was so wrong of your husbands mother to get mad at you about that.
I honestly don't blame you for not wanting to have anything to do with them but there isnt much else you can do except avoid them and dont ever let them see that they are bothering you.
2006-12-20 17:49:34 · answer #2 · answered by miss2sexc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that since you answered your question "if you cant stop being a drama queen I dont want anything to do with you" sounds like you are a bit of a drama queen yourself. call those people who they "lied" to about you and rectify the situation yourself. You are a big girl. Then tell your in laws that you dont appreciate that happening and would like for it to never happen again. Secondly just because someone says something behind your back doesnt mean they arent qualified to hold their own grandson/daughter. Thats being a little over dramatic!
2006-12-21 14:02:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry. Let people talk. I know it's hard especially right now b/c your pregnant. Let those lies just sly down. It's not healthy for you and your baby when you're stressing out like that. If you don't want your mother-in-law to be in the delivery room, then don't let her it's your choice and no ones else. It's normal to feel how your feeling. But like I said don't take it to hard. My younger sister went through something similar and she had a premature baby caused by all that stress. So please hang in there. Good luck.
2006-12-20 17:45:16 · answer #4 · answered by Morena461 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to have anyone in the delivery room that you don't want to be there. No if's ands or buts about it. If they argue, have your OB tell them it's too stressful for you. If you MIL tries to come in, just tell the nurse to make her leave. Period.
They are your husband's family as you said, and as such, you will have to concede on letting them see the baby if you want to maintain any kind of relationship with them, but this is your birth experience and you get to be the queen of the delivery room. Drama or not.
2006-12-20 17:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you should just forget about it. If it happens again, then I would feel the way you do. As far as them being in the delivery room with you, I would just tell them that its a special time for you and your husband and you dont want anyone else in there with you. How would you relax with people in there that you dont want?? Its your choice, stick to it. After all, you'll be the one doing all the work.
2006-12-20 17:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by pebbles 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are honest and true to your family without pride, they will respect you on the inside, even if they can't admit it openly because of there own shame and weakness.
When they hold your child they will fear to let anything go wrong if you keep the highest standards possible.
But if they are still hateful and careless after you have have loved them and been the best example to them you can be, then there may be little hope and might should safely keep your child from them.
Your child is your child to love and protect every way you can.
2006-12-20 18:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by Sportsdress 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rarely see them... and don't go over to their house to visit.. except at holidays...... that is actually what we had to do with my hubbys family.... They said after our son was born that he wasn't my husbands because he didn't look like him... (DUH!!! look at MY baby pics and he looks like my twin).. and most recently, they told everyone in the family that I was cheating on him with his cousin.... (but my husband knows better, and the only time we see his cousin is when my hubby invites him over...) his step mom has never liked me, but it helps that he don't like her.... But unfortunatly we cut all ties with her... we still talk to everyone else, and they know the truth about her, so she is an outcast right now and she hates it, but she did it to herself.....
It is your choice who comes in the delivery room with you..so, make that choice... and you are the first to hold the baby... and so let them know that you don't approve of them being around for the birth... you can even have your doc and nurses tell them to leave......
Other than that, the only other option, would be to put on a front and pretend like everything is good... but trust me that will get old!!!! IT sucks having to put on a front to keep everyone else happy!!! I am sorry to hear your story, cause I have been in a similar situation, but I am sure that you and your husband will be able to figure something out... He needs to stand by you and let them know that everything you decide is his idea too, so he can't make you out to be a B****.... Good Luck.. I hope everything works out for you!!!!
2006-12-20 17:51:11 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy of 2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I totally know what your talking about, I myself have been in that position. I would talk to your hubby and tell him that having this baby is important to you and that you would feel uncomfortable having his parents in there with you. Tell your hubby to explain this to his family, you need privacy when it comes to something like this and that they have broken your trust and you dont need that type of stress on what should be the best day of your life. If you have to I would tell the nurses in the hospital not to even let them in your room. Good Luck honey and dont let them ruin your great day
2006-12-20 19:40:08 · answer #9 · answered by Kendra M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk with them and tell them exactly how you feel, tell them you didn't approve of them telling lies, and tell them also the only one thats going to be in the delivery room is your husband. and no one else. and when you get to the hospital tell the nurses there that no one else is allowed in unless they have permission from you. relax don't let them give you stress, you don't deserve that. tell your husband that you don't want them around you or your child . unless they change their ways. and stop lying to everyone. because you don't want your baby growing up in that kind of enviroment. good luck to you and congradulations on the new baby.
2006-12-20 19:08:59 · answer #10 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋