The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
2006-12-20 09:29:02 · 9 answers · asked by Laura 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND..."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.
So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army.
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor first putting a worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
~~~~~
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," Little Johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"
2006-12-20 09:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute
2006-12-20 17:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by LCee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little Johnny watches too much TV..sweet anyway.
2006-12-20 17:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by ladybug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to think that this "joke" probably plays out everyday in America's classrooms.
2006-12-20 17:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by It's true 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i want the 5 seconds it took me to read this back....
very stupid and not cute!
2006-12-20 17:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by ishhashish 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
awww
2006-12-20 18:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lovely 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good one
2006-12-20 17:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by freddie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol thats great
2006-12-20 22:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL.... THAT ONE IS CUTE...
2006-12-20 17:31:49 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋