Blind date..that I meet on line?

Question

Ok. I meet this guy online and we've been corresponding for 7 months via photos, emails, IM, phone calls, text messages and greeting cards through regular mail(birthdays,holidays,etc).. He seems like a very nice guy and I enjoy talking to him. We can talk for an hour and it seems like 15 minutes. We know alot about each other and I've been able to verify things that he's told me. We have yet to meet in person. He lives in the mid west and I live on the east coast. He asked me if I would like to meet at his summer home in Florida. I declined. He has agreed to fly to my state for the weekend so that we can meet face to face. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

He will be staying in a hotel and I will not invite him to my home. We are both well over 18 yrs old.

Answer 1

I like what xtratabas said, up near the top. You should prepare yourself for the worst - it is highly likely (better than 50% chance) that the two of you will not hit it off in person. The reason? You are engaged in a projective fantasy, since you haven't met. It doesn't matter that you can "verify" things about this guy. It's entirely possible he is being completely truthful about his situation, his life, career, and everything else. That's not the issue. The issue is that there are many many nuances about a person's character, personality, and physical characteristics that you cannot get from emails, phone calls, and even photographs (which are frozen in time). How he smells (pheromones, aka chemistry). How he makes eye contact with you (if he makes it at all). How he treats you in person. He could be a real jerk in person. How does he treat the waitstaff, if you go out to eat? Is he a good conversationalist, will the two of you "mesh" intellectually? In conversations? In sense of humor?

There's just so much that's lost on the Internets and phone. So prepare yourself for the fact that it is a long-shot that it will work out into something serious. A long shot.

This actually happened to me. I emailed and phoned with a man 1,500 miles away - for 8 months. We finally met in person, and...nothing. He turned out to be a jerk. He treated me terribly, he was a horrible host, and he was nothing like his phone calls (where he talked about interesting things and could keep a conversation going). In person, he had nothing to say. Nothing. It was like being with a mute. He also had very bad teeth, which I never saw in photographs he sent to me, and he never acknowledged. That alone is not a dealbreaker, I must admit, but it was a "shock."

So just prepare yourself.

Answer 2

Okay first of all, I am glad you declined the FL trip/offering. Because in this day and age, meeting someone online can be dangerous. My suggestion to you is to have him meet you somewhere public and to tell you what color shirt he will be wearing. Show up with a girlfriend (or male friend) and that way you can eye him together and decide whether you want to stick around. If so, talk to him with her/him there. The reason I say this is because you see too many times on the news where someone meets someone from online for the first time and 3 days later they are missing. not to sound morbid, but I think it's better to be safe than sorry. Hopefully he will be cool!

Answer 3

I speak from experience; this is a very volatile matter. I was in the same situation you were and was stupid enough to meet up with the guy. Turned out, he was an amazing person, but believe me, I got very lucky.

Please be careful if you do end up meeting him. Cell phone is a must!! I am not saying he is a bad guy (he actually seems very nice) but you never know.

Good luck and enjoy :)

Answer 4

i never recommend dating any one that you meet on line, but you seem to have your act together because you declined to go to where he is. much safer for him to come to where you are, where you know people. i suggest that he stay in a hotel, not at your place.when you go out, meet some where, don't let him pick you up because then he will know where you live and being in a car alone is not a good idea. i suggest having him visit you a few times before going to where he lives.also when you are ready to go and see him, say to him hey a friend and i are thinking of coming to Florida, would it be OK to visit? make sure you do have a friend that can go with you.if you have to offer to pay your friends way.i suggest doing this for a while.before making the trip alone or having him come to your house. good luck! and be careful!!!

Answer 5

Are you 18? If not, he's committing a felony when he meets you.

But if you are, then when you meet him, make sure to have someone covering your back, preferably a guy friend. Meet in a public area. And don't promise to go over to his hotel or let him into your home. Just like regular dating, once you see him face to face, things are totally different, it may be almost like starting over with meeting someone new.

Answer 6

It seems like you're being fairly level headed about this situation, so that's good. Here's an idea; Have a friend call you on your cell phone at several predetermined points during the meeting/date. I wouldn't be nervous about telling him that too. Let him know that if you don't answer the phone at 9:45 your friend is going to call the cops. Have a fairly strict schedule for your date, too and share it will your friend so that in case she has to call the cops, she knows exactly where you are supposed to be.
Hav fun!

Answer 7

First, don't meet him alone. Take along a friend who can act as a chaperon. Meet in a public place that is well known to you. Don.t agree to do anything you are uncomfortable with. You may feel you know this guy well,but until you see him face to face you don't really know if you can trust him.It is always better to be safe than sorry.

Answer 8

Why not meet him? Don't tell me your fantasy world will be crushed if you meet him and are disappointed...lol. Let him fly to you. But make sure he's not counting on staying with you. Let him know about hotels around by you, etc. I know with meeting somebody on-line you should proceed with caution. I met a woman on-line and we've dated a few times and I think the world of her, so it can work. Just be careful and good luck.

Answer 9

He may be legitimate, but you MUST be cautious! As others have said, meet in public. Do NOT let him stay at your home.

The other thing you need to worry about is that he already has a girlfriend or wife, which is easier to cover up from a distance.

There may be other things he may be hiding that are easier to cover up from a distance, as well.

Or, maybe you will find that there is just no chemistry in person. Be prepared, as that is very common.

However, this may be a match made in heaven. I met my current boyfriend on a dating website, and we are very happy together.

Answer 10

You should meet in a public place not at his house or yours. This way if he is not what you expect you can walk out. You do not know this guy that well to go to his house or to meet any where private. If you watch the news there are alot of crazy men out there looking for women to come back to their house.