I had to kick her out..and i am gutted about it .was i right or was i wrong ???

Question

Two weeks ago i gave her one last chance .but she still continues to call out some guys name in her dreams .
I posted this 2 weeks earlier .telling you guys that my g/friend calls out some guys named Tony.on 3 separate
occasions and in 3 separate dreams .when i told her about it .all i got was sobbing crying ..telling me she dosen't know any one with that name ..and it could have been a friend from school days. when they were cheer leaders togather .some cockandbull story and that her name was Tooni.
I told her at the time .i wasn't buying any of it .she had her last chance then .i did tell her onece more and shes out on the curb..saturday night she said it again .so out she went ..she cried and said sorry .but no i am not having any of that, she can cry until the cows come home .
I had enough .Hey i am not taking some one to bed who i cared and looked after for, so she can call some dickheads name out in my apartment in my bed .yet it pains me when she phones and cries on the ph

Why isn't there other names as well,,Why Tony on 4 separate occasions ..
if this had happen to you ,I am sure you all will be thinking.. whats going on here who the hell is this Tony ..you just canot say nothing or do nothing ,
Bad thing about this is ..it hurts me to think if i am wrong..but if i am right .how long can some one continue to suffer this way ??

Answer 1

Whoever Tony might be, I think throwing her out "on the kerb" on Saturday Night was most improper. You could have at least waited till the morning.

You could have handled this situation in a more mature way, which would have showed you up in a much more respectable light.

Never mind now. What's happened has happened, and cannot be undone. Let bygones be bygones.

If you are man enough, you will apologise to her for your crass action, and either
1. offer to talk over the whole issue in a grown up way, so your relationship can be put back on the rails. Or
2. forget her.
But apologise you must. Don't wait for her to call you. Phone her yourself and say you're sorry. There's nothing sissy about it. You owe her (and yourself) at least that much. Why yourself? Because, trust me, you have lost all respect in her eyes. And in your friends' eyes as well. This stain will be very hard to remove.

You seem to have a bad temper. Perhaps a violent one. That is understandable and can even be tolerable. We are not all perfect. But this incident was cruel (your language makes that quite plain). Looks like you were waiting for the opportunity to get rid of her just to teach her a lesson so to speak, or perhaps establish your superiority over her. The way you describe her crying on the phone shows it.

It's time you did a little introspection about yourself, and face up to your own flaws, and try to do something about them.

I am sorry if I have offended you, but truth is often harsh, and ultimately for your own good.

Answer 2

I think you were too harsh. Don't get me wrong, I would be pissed too. But a dream isn't something she can control. Now, if she said "Tony, Tony, Oh YES Tony", when you two were having sex, then that would be a whole different story. Does she even remember her dreams? Were they sexual dreams? She could be having a recurring dream. Why don't the both of you talk to a professional who specializes in dream interpretation? I think you two need to talk this out, it's not her fault. Like I said, She can't control what she dreams.

Answer 3

Dreams are strange things man. Do you have any evidence other than the dreams that she is cheating? If she is good in every other way I wouldn't let a dream ruin it. If she was screaming out his name during sex then yeah it might be a problem, but she seems pretty sincere. Have some confidence in yourself and her. If there are no other signs, take her back. Good Luck

Answer 4

when trust goes its hard to build up anything, but there is a chance she can be telling the truth.. dreams are often fragments of lots of things we see and hear she could even be calling out some tv stars name, just because she has seen it on tv, it does not mean she is dreaming of them in a love sort of way. Either way tho you sound like you have issues over this and distrust has set in, when that is there it is ni on impossible to mend, but do be carefull its not your insecurites that drove her away.

Answer 5

She cant control what she dreams about, it doesnt mean that she is having dreams about someone called tony, it could be anything, its strange hoe things we see everyday play in our dreams, you should have kicked off like you did because now she will never open up to you. Talk to her calmly and record her on a night, then you can both have a laugh together, my partner tells me i talk complete rubbish in my sleep and even wake him up to talk about different things, but he knows i cant control it, you probably do it to but just dont relise because your girlfriend is a heavy sleeper and you dont wake her up and your a light sleeper hence why it wakes you up instantly

Answer 6

just says this in her dreams? there must be more wrong with the relationship than that to end it over a name in a dream

Answer 7

there are chicks named Toni.... and if you are jealous over a dream then you have other issues to work out. good luck.

Answer 8

when you dream your alter ego comes out or sub conscience, it has nothing to do with you. i know thats hard to understand, but if she is with YOU calling YOU crying, and wanting YOU back, damn i didnt say tony.... see what i'm trying to say here!! good luck!!

Answer 9

You sound like your disappointed you didn't wash her mouth out
with soapy water.If you spoke in your sleep.What would you be
saying?I imagine Bill John Rocky.You CAD.

Answer 10

Maybe she thinks your name is tony?