My serious boyfriend and I have a great relationship. We get along well, we respect each other and we have a great time together. We have been living together and we both see ourselves getting married in the next couple of years. However, we have one big problem. He has always wanted children, and I have always been opposed to the idea. I dislike children and I have never been interested in having any of my own. He has always dreamed of being a father. Both of us are very set in our ways, and when the discussion comes up, we always leave it as something to worry about when the time comes because we cannot ever see eye to eye. Is this a sign that we are not compatable in the long run?
2006-12-20 08:31:35 · 21 answers · asked by LoveForCoriander 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yep, that could definitely put stress on the relationship. If neither one of you guys compromise then he's always going to want kids and you don't. Do you want him to miss out on having kids just because you don't? Maybe that is something that you need to think about. Do you love him enough to give him what he wants whether it is having kids with him or letting him go so that he could create a family without you? Think about that...
2006-12-20 08:37:42 · answer #1 · answered by Numbah 5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from. Having children is a full time responsibility and is a lot of hard work. I feel that even though the man wanted the children, if there is a separation, ultimately in the end you are the one with the custody.
2006-12-20 16:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by moobiemuffin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you two are dodging a very important subject. If you have intentions of getting married, wouldn't it be a good idea to know exactly what you both want?? If you two don't decide now, if a few years when the question comes up again and he is serious what then?? Good luck
2006-12-20 16:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by BPP77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not just bury your head in the sand thinking that you will one day talk about it.The reason is days and years will go by and guess what none of you will be able to bring up the issue cos of not wanting to upset the other.There is no point in hanging there,it is time both of you moved on and found someone who shares the same interests as you.Time will never come.....unless you decide it is time.
2006-12-20 16:44:55 · answer #4 · answered by mwihakz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesn't sound like the two of you are compatible . . .he wants a family and you don't . . that is a major problem either one of you will have to change (which is a bad idea) or you'll both end up divorced, it may be time to call this relationship off so both of you can move on you can find a man that doesn't want a family and he can find a woman who wants a family . .
2006-12-20 16:37:40 · answer #5 · answered by Rainy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a HUGE issue. Sorry, but if he wants and you don't, better to bow out now and save any further waste of each others time. Having children is a way of life for most people and I don't know too many women who don't want that part of their life fulfilled. As a mother I have to say that I feel sorry for you if you live your life without knowing that true unconditional love for and from a child!
2006-12-20 16:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would not say that, i would just say that you two have one hurdle to overcome. every relationship has them, and some of the stronger relationships have more of them. if you really love each other and can see your relationship going somewhere, it is worth it to try. i think that it is best that you leave this as an open question with no answer, because there isnt an easy one to come by. just be willing to keep an open mind, you may possibly have your mind changed.
2006-12-20 16:35:30 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have been married for a year and half and are now at a crossroads because of this very subject. If you are both set, you will be miserable. In our case, she wants them, I don't. Our sex life has gone to hell because of this. I'm practically afraid to have sex with her for fear that she will purposely stop taking her birth control pills. Our relationship is deteriorating rapidly. This is one topic that is a deal-breaker in my mind. Unless one of you gives in, you will never find true happiness.
2006-12-20 16:35:31 · answer #8 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is a sign of incompatibility unless someone gives in. Haven't you heard what happened between Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston? Don't let an Angelina Jolie get in the way of your relationship now.
2006-12-20 16:35:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are the reasons you dont want children? and what are the reasons he wants them?
then see which is more important.
and if you dotn want children of your own maybe you should adopt.
it wont be very good if one really wants children with their whole heart and one feels the same but opposite.
in order for the relationship to work out, one will have to sacrafise their desires.
do you want him to sacrafice his dream of beign a father for your lack of interest in children?
or would you be willing to please him and have children?
who knows you may enjoy them once youve had them..
personally ive always been the one who sacrafices in a realationship and i learn to deal with it.
im happy when the one i love is happy.
however, you may be totally different.
i would talk to him about it and decide which is more important.
good luck and i hope everything turns out alright.
:]
2006-12-20 16:39:42 · answer #10 · answered by Sterlinggg. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋