my girlfriend and i have been dating for a month and a half or so and the other day she asked me to tie her up and whip her/ use her torture her and all that junk. i didnt know how to respond, ive never done anything kinkier than a blindfold and handcuffs. i kind of said i dont know so then she asked if i would prefer she did the stuff to me. what am i supposed to do? i dont really feel that comfortable with doing that stuff to her, i have never hit a woman before and dont wanna break my record, what do i do? what do i tell her?
2006-12-20 08:07:45 · 23 answers · asked by slightly confused 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i really love her and im willing to try it but i dont wanna **** somehting up
2006-12-20 08:12:08 · update #1
handle her with honesty... and really think about whether you should be with her ;o)
2006-12-20 08:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off you need to see it as not HITTING its called spanking and a good place to start is pulling her over your knees and cherry that little bottom red along with exploring her crevices with interest. It doesn't have to be brutal or anything. In fact bdsm can be very sensual and sexy. I had a guy who too was a little apprehensive about being dominate...but once he pulled me over his knee, he got really excited and said it really turned him on, though he still couldn't see himself breaking out the whips. Check out www.bondage.com. You can sign up for free and still explore a good deal w/out paying.
NEVER leave your sub tied...its dangerous. BDSM is about a couple building trust in one another. Not just brutal sex. There is a lot of responsibility that comes with being a dominate. You have to care for your sub very deeply and protect them. But also, after trying it and its still not your thing, let her know, its just not right for you...BDSM is huge on open communication, expressing your feelings and not passing judgement on one another. Without communication, it will never work and people end up hurt. Not really different from Vanilla relationships, its just not as forgiving.
2006-12-20 16:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are not comfortable with it then you probably never will be. But then again how do you know if you are or are not untill you have at least tried it. If you start and cant handel it you can then stop the big problem will be how your girl takes you stoping better make sure she dosent have the whip.
2006-12-20 16:12:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your not comfortable doing things like that then sit down and talk to her.Maybe you should try and get another girlfriend.There are plenty of women in this world who like having sex the normal way.Maybe your girlfriend is just different.
2006-12-20 16:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are not comfortable with the hold thing perhaps you should reconsider the relationship as that side of the relationship is a big one and you shouldnt be put in a situation you are not comfortable with.
2006-12-20 16:10:06 · answer #5 · answered by auburn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try it.
If it feels totally wrong, discuss that with her, and tell her to go slow because you are new to this.
If things go too fast without her slowing down, or feel too wrong, get out, she most likely needs this.
Remember SHE came to you, the only person you may hurt here is you. (unless you like it too much and this goes nowhere anyway.)
2006-12-20 17:54:58 · answer #6 · answered by Don't look too close! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You've got a freak on your hands and they usually pick their own kind. So, either rent some bondage porn to get an idea, let her do what she does to you OR run like hell! =]]
2006-12-20 16:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by 1truthseeker 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Either get into the scene or get a new girl.
2006-12-20 16:10:23 · answer #8 · answered by count.voss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say that is not your thing but she can tie you up and beat you up instead good luck with the kinky freaky chic LOL
2006-12-20 16:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by Angel Virgo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ahhh, Get with the program. Ahhhh, if you can't beat them join them. Ahhh, get out of that situation......
2006-12-20 16:10:16 · answer #10 · answered by samaustinashlee_billiewjr 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you should try it, try both ends. You go first then she goes. You might like it. You won't know until you try it
2006-12-20 16:12:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋