OK, here's the scoop: I have no idea of how to become a great, loving, and caring mother. I want to be like my late mother who was excellent, but she died when I was young. I don't have children of my own, but I do take care of my niece as if I was "momma" and I am a godmother to several children. I'm 23 years old, and I am more career-oriented than family-oriented. My career aspirations are very important to me insomuch I don't have time for a boyfriend, which I wouldn't mind having after I finish establishing my career. I would love any advice from mothers, fathers, and grandparents. I want my niece to grow up to be very successful and happy. She's only a baby now. Please offer me some suggestions. Thank you in advance.
2006-12-20 08:01:25 · 7 answers · asked by Maria Gallercia 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, I am raising my niece. I apologize for omitting that portion. :-)
2006-12-20 08:11:20 · update #1
The niece whom I'm raising is 13 mos. old.
2006-12-21 04:03:12 · update #2
Dear "Ms.I-Want-2b-A-Better Mother,"
Although at the time I do not find myself being surrounded by children of my own, I do, in a way, relate to you, in the sense that we both are "career-oriented" people.
I am very busy with my own dreams and goals, to even think about dating at the time...You are 2 years older than I, and with years, more experience can be gained, do you agree?
Your determination to become a great mother and "role model" to your niece and future children, is very heart-warming, in every sense of the word. May God Bless you with this grand gift when the TIME is rightly given to you...
Now, there isn't enough books, tips, or rules on how to become a "Better Mother"...but I do know this...When A child is Born, a new part of you Is BORN also....no matter what will happen in your distant future with children of your own...know this: Your son/daughter will ALWAYS love their "momma"...*wink* My best wishes to you...you have a heart of gold, and I am sure that "shiny" part of your soul will be passed on to your children.
Sincerely,
Your Friend
2006-12-20 08:30:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you raising your niece? If not, then you only need to be a better aunt, not a better mother. If you are raising her then that is different. My advise would be to find some time to put her first, ahead of your career. Be involved in the things she's involved in, go to her plays or soccer games or band concerts etc. Listen to her when she talks. Find out what she likes and share her interest. As she grows up she will remember things you did with her more than things you gave her.
2006-12-20 08:07:02 · answer #2 · answered by kat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your neice? Then that is all you need to be a great mom. But if you feel like that isn't enough the best advice i can give is for you to listen to her. When she comes home from school encourage her to talk to you about anything and everything. But don't just go on about your day while she basically talks to herself kids know when they are being patronized. Ask questions about who did this or that at school. when she is 3 and want to tell you all about her dolly or what happened on some cartoon you couldn't care less about. Look her right in the eye and listen . That is the most important thing a mother can do. The more you listen the more she will talk and over time she will start to say things you want to hear about. but if she dosent think you want to hear about what happened on the latest episode of Winnie the Pooh it will teach her that you don't want to hear about the kid that was mean to her or the boy she likes or that the neighbor guy tried to touch her. Get excited about what she is excited about, even if you have no clue what it is. My son is 16 months and he gets so excited over the weirdest things but i just act excited right along with him and he enjoys it more.
2006-12-20 08:25:21 · answer #3 · answered by rose_calhoun23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just make her the most important thing in your life. be there for her, LOVE her and support her and listen, listen, listen. there are so many things children say, and if you really listen to what they are saying, you can find out so much about them. let her learn religion and the respect that comes with it. teach her what is right and wrong and to know the difference. you sound like a person who really cares - that's winning the battle right there - i'm sure you'll do all the right things. she is lucky to have you in her life that you care so much to want to do the right things by her. good luck.
2006-12-20 08:34:07 · answer #4 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are classes you could take, books at the library on the subject like you wouldn't believe!! Tapes etc. too if you don't have time but to just listen on the way to work. Have a nice fullfilling life, smile.
2006-12-20 08:10:56 · answer #5 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it quite is been tremendously lots documented that, frequently, via and massive, on the entire, people no longer nicely-parented do no longer make good mother and father. it relatively is, people tend to act greater like their mother and father than one might think of, on the face of it (or they marry somebody like the undesirable determine, who's then a awful determine to their infant). the suitable possibility of no longer "passing it on" because it have been, is to handle the wear and tear performed via the undesirable parenting, heal from it, get to the different area of it, in the past transforming into to be a determine. There are some people who are not so broken via undesirable parenting that they manage relatively nicely; yet maximum choose help to ward off doing the comparable issues to their infants, or now and back an the two undesirable opposite. regrettably, "attempting one's toughest" is in many circumstances no longer sufficient. you ought to evaluate expert help, or a self-help team, that should assist you get previous your adolescence. i'm no longer saying you would be a awful determine, yet basically that the opportunities are against it. we tend to act out, against our own desires. it quite is area of what's so risky approximately awful parenting. In my own case, my mom replaced right into a much greater suitable mom than HER mom; yet, i think of she could have been greater suitable nonetheless, had she gotten help. (BTW, i'm no longer a determine, which i think of is possibly basically besides.)
2016-10-15 08:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would suggest that you put your "daughter" FIRST. read books. get invovled in her life. also if there are other family members get help from them..... how old is she...
2006-12-20 08:51:25 · answer #7 · answered by maria p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋