So I'm dating a guy for a little while, things are going great, he's making the moves, seemingly into me ... and then boom! Sideswipes me right before leaving for the holidays with "I'm just going to be too busy when I get back to invest the time I would want to in a relationship." He says all the crap about me being really important to him and loving spending time with me, but apparently not enough. THEN, he goes on to say all the things he wants to do with me next semester (as friends) like go to new restaurants, see movies, etc. Wait, I thought he didn't have time. OH, and then he has a christmas present for me but he was too cowardly to give it to me face to face and just left it on my porch. I just want to know what's with the mixed signals. Either you have time for me or you don't. Either you want to be with me or you don't. which is it? Guys? Help me here.
2006-12-20 07:31:26 · 15 answers · asked by cali_swimr2004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok ... valid answers. all things I've thought. This guy is working on his Ph.D. The time issue could be valid, but the fact that he can still hang out as friends makes me wonder if there really is a time constraint that makes a relationship not possible. I think I just need to stop thinking about it and let him figure out what the hell he wants. He has three weeks while in Germany to do so. *shakes head* He can't avoid me forever. We hang out with the same people and we're going skiing together in February. Ironic.
2006-12-20 11:20:17 · update #1
well he has everything figured out so let him figure out how to make everything right with you once he returns. so find someone else in the interim. if he does come back around that's great and if he doesn't you've already moved on so it doesn't matter.
2006-12-20 07:33:52 · answer #1 · answered by collard greens with hash browns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats an easy one. He is using the holidays as an excuse to break things off. He is too cowardly to do a full break cause he values you as a person and a friend but isn't interested in you for a relationship. He probably just didn't want to hurt you so he thought this would be easier only to have it backfire! I would let him go and move on...if he changes his mind, he'll be back!
2006-12-20 07:36:15 · answer #2 · answered by Trevor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants to leave time to play the field a little and not give up what he has with you. Some guys don't want to give up one relationship until it's replaced with another...most times. This may be the case, maybe not.
2006-12-20 07:48:05 · answer #3 · answered by jp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think guys are really that stupid and can't deceive, you're totally wrong. If he doesn't have time, then that kind of makes up for not giving it to you face-to-face. I wouldn't call him cowardly...I expect him to have given you at least something before....He still wants to spend time with you, but he's saying he can't have a serious relationship.
Don't think of us guys as stupid little idiots who bend our knees to your every whim. We're more complicated than you think.
2006-12-20 07:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by i6am6satan6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is easy to figure out....tell him to take a hike because you don't want to play his word and mixed signals game. Leave it at that and find someone to spend your time with
2006-12-20 07:32:50 · answer #5 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is being truthful and right this moment forward with your guy, and then there is annoying a stranger to be introspective. it style of feels to me which you're closer to the 2nd class than the 1st. first of all, enable me say that i think of being right this moment forward with your boyfriend is an spectacular element (my own opinion, can no longer talk for different adult adult males). i like it whilst my female will in basic terms say it how this is. yet interior the tip, you have in basic terms seen the guy some circumstances, if that! i be attentive to three people (no longer all adult adult males) who say which you mustn't in any respect have the "hi, i admire you...are you going to be extreme now, because of the fact i % to be?" communication. those are acquaintances who've had a super quantity of relationships. they say that this is a few thing that would desire to be discovered of course, and not forced. I agree, yet no longer entirely--i think of that there is a perfect time to have that communication. And after having seen one yet another 2 circumstances, i do no longer think of that's the main surprising time! i be attentive to that if i in my opinion loved a woman, and he or she had to have that communication with me...i could nonetheless be somewhat scared. Like, "i'm ALL approximately monogamy or maybe marriage, finally. yet, after 2 dates, why is that this female attempting to tie me down already? After one month, is she going to start dropping the L-bomb on me? Is she going to start bearing on me completely as 'honey' and not in any respect by ability of my first call returned? She would desire to easily enable issues be, and shop her very own strategies open. If, a speedy time from now, we are somewhat getting into one yet another, possibly THEN we are able to start talking extra like, 'hi, are you seeing people? Cuz if no longer, i in my opinion such as you....'" yet hi, i'm no longer saying you will desire to do something. possibly you're somewhat into this guy. if it is so, then possibly you will desire to have that communication with him for the reason which you be attentive to you would be somewhat harm if he does not sense the comparable way? If I sound cynical, possibly i'm. All i be attentive to is that as quickly as i became the comparable way, all I had to coach for it became a bunch of ability relationships that throughout the time of no way have been given previous first base (i'm no longer talking sexually). you do no longer would desire to maintain your "strategies open" by ability of drowsing around, although this is commonly no longer a foul theory to take issues somewhat extra casually on the commencing up.
2016-12-11 13:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are like this, through and through. He's trying to let you off easy. He's afraid of committment. Kick 'em to the curb.
2006-12-20 07:35:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We're easily confused.
2006-12-20 07:33:03 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's probably got a girl at home he'll be hooking up with, and doesn't want any confusion as to where you stand.
2006-12-20 07:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by cadillacrazy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like cold feet.
2006-12-20 07:34:01 · answer #10 · answered by Mr B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋