I'm a cutter and suicidal...?

Question

I'm 18 and I've been cutting since I was 11. I don't know how to stop. I've been sexualy and physicaly abused when I was little. I also lost my entire family 5 years ago. I've been able to stop for a few months, and am taking meds to help my depression but it doesn't seem to work. I still want to go back to cutting. I still want to kill myself. My fiance gets very upselt when I tell him these things, it makes me feel better to tell someone these things but I can't keep hurting by telling him. I just dont know what to do anymore...

Answer 1

Marine's Wife has a point. Your ages changed and your parents were alive as of 5 months ago.

"I'm a cutter and I don't know how to stop...?

Im 17 years old and I've been cutting & doing other forms of self injury since I was 13 and I don't know how to stop. It's becoming very dangerous for me because I always seem to cut too deep. Only a few nights ago I almost bleed to death. I don't want my parents to find out cause it would freak them out too much, but all my friends who know want to tell them... I'm not sure how to go about getting the help I need. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I could stop, or reduce the amount I cut?
thx,
PT
5 months ago (Tiebreaker) - 24 answers - Report Abuse "


Resisting the Urge to Cut
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/resisting_cutting.html

Answer 2

It seems like your meds don't work, and they can only do so much. You need to value yourself as something better than what you feel. You are not an object, you are a good person who is loved by your fiance, and you shouldn't feel the need to destroy yourself by cutting. I think you should see your doctor, and maybe go out for fresh air or a long walk by yourself when you feel at your worst. Realize life is a *****, but still a gift and make the most of it, and focus on what you have rather than what you haven't. Good luck, depression can be so awful and I hope you get your life back on track.

Answer 3

First of all, I am so sorry that you are not gettin the right treatment here on this message board. You do not deserve this treatment when you are reaching out for some help and advice.

I have suffered suicidal tendencies, mostly in my youth (13-18). It has gotten so much better and I only think about it once in a while. You say you lost your family etc. Suicide is not the answer. The answer is self improvement so that way you dont need anyone to tell you how great you are - because you will know it for yourself.

The pool of self pity is a dangerous one...one that most people have swam in. Just keep your head above the water and find the ladder to get you out of that pool.

Answer 4

im really sorry to hear this.i used to go through with this with my mum(she has also been abused as a kid) she went in hospital for a while and then put and then in ! went on for ages but the real help didnt start till she was ready to talk to people and not hide her secrets from close ones.she learned that being open andhonest helps both yourself and you fiance as im sure he is constantly worried and is there for you no matter what.have you ever seeked proff help?if not thats a start.if so then maybe start or carry on talking with a counciler.my mum went through this till her late 30s and now she is a changed woman all because she learned that talking is the best thing to do,a problem shared is a problem halfed.time is a great healer you just need to stay strong and open.when you get a really bad urge to do something make sure you immediantly go to a friends and make sure your around people.have you ever had a stay in hospital?maybe you should ask your doctor if this is an option,it helped my mum immensly and she was in a really bad way.we were baught up in care because of it but she is a changed person now.it proves its possable to leave the past behind.just keep your head up high and keep telling yurself you can do this.your a strong person .comming on hear and telling your story is an achevment in itself.remember to talk talk talk...its the only way forward.your fiance would much rather you talk than be in danger.if you ever want a chat you can contact me at [e-mail].
all the best xx

Answer 5

i havent read other responses, so i dont know what you've heard so far, but i will tell you from my own experiences.

i'm 20. i've been a cutter since i was about 12, maybe 11. i havent gone through the stuff you have, but i know how hard it can be to just be a cutter alone. i understand the urges and how it makes you feel. i have a fiancee as well, and she gets upset with me. the best thing i can tell you is to go see a psychiatrist. you probably have a real problem that should be attended to. now i also know how hard this can be with insurance and all, but trust me: it's worth it.

basically, please get help. but as far as the fiance goes, tell him. he doesnt like hearing it, but i gurantee he'll like not knowing your feelings less. my fiancee used to get angry with me for cutting, but now i tell her whn i get an urge, and she helps me through it.

if you need someone just to rant to, feel free to email me at [e-mail]


HW-7

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear about your family and your childhood, but what is killing yourself or making yourself bleed going to help, I'm sure your fiancee would hurt if you were gone, my childhood was crappy too, my mom and dad were crackheads and I pretty much had to raise my three little brothers, I got beat and seen alot of things children never see, I thought of ending it myself, but you can't just think of yourself and how hard you think things are, because there are other people that would be affected by what your thinking, you need to talk to a professional, I wish I could help you more than my words, but the only advice I can give you is be strong and look forward each day to the positive things you have in your life, like the people who love you and would never want you to hurt yourself, I hope you will at least consider looking at the good in your life, that's what helped me.

Answer 7

My heart goes out to you. You clearly have a more serious form of depression than you can handle on your own. The meds you are on are clearly not working, so you need to see your Doctor and try something new. It is also critical that you get some professional councelling. I have known a couple of people who were cutters and they got better with the right help. Don't be affraid to talk about it and make it your life's focus to get well. Life is worth it. Good luck.

Answer 8

I find it interesting that you came here for help. By telling your boyfriend these things repeatedly, what you are doing is driving him away.

You are creating your own loneliness as a way to get attention but it will backfire on you every time. You need to find a new way to get the attention you crave, or you will end up alone.

Ever heard of Self Fulfilling Prophecy? That's what you are doing by continuing on this behavioral track.

It's no longer fashionable to be suicidal or a cutter. You're a dime a dozen these days. We've all had rather crappy childhoods and most of us manage to get over it and move on in a positive way. You are taking the easy/cowards route by going for the easy/cheap sympathy/attention. In the end you are only hurting yourself though because human beings, even the ones that love you, will only be able to take so much, after that, for their own sanity, they will have to keep you at a distance in order to protect themselves emotionally from the abuse you are visiting upon them and yourself to get attention.

Answer 9

I empathize with so much that you are going thru. I've been raped, molested, abrused, homeless, hungry, depressed, and I even tried to commit suicide never a cutter though but I did throw up alot trying to make myself super skinny d a m n near died. My point is that we all go thru traget and everlasting battle wounds here on earth. We as people need to stay prayed up and in God's Will. No one asked to be raped, molested, homeless, hungry, suicidal, or anything and yet God loves us enough to stay by our sides thru the toughest of times. You have fallen down but you don't have to stay there. Stop feeling sorry for yourself about things that have happen in the past. God test us and allows us to go thru things for reason we don't have a clue but its up to us to decide whether we will fall and stay there or fall and get back up. You have to find that inner strength inside of you cause getting advice from us may ease your fears but they will still be there when we are gone. You are stronger than you give yourself credit and I don't blame your boyfriend for not wanting to hear about it everyday and thats not to say that I'm being mean or harse but when you talk about it day after day the problems just get worse not better. You should try writting in a notebook or working out, something constructive to get your mind off the situation. If you sit and think the problem is only going to fester in your mind. You should talk to a minister or preacher. Get God's Word and you will overcome this. God bless and I will pray for you. If you want to talk more email me at: [e-mail]

Answer 10

I think you should check in to a hospital to get help. I understand your fiance's point of view. It is painful to go through this with someone but you need to be honest with him about your feelings too. So that he knows when you reach a critical point so he can get you help if need be. I think it would be best for both of you if you initiated it though. Make the choice yourself. Admit yourself to the hospital. It sounds like you know and are willing to talk about the painful experiences in your life. But you need to talk with a pro to get the tools you need to start dealing with them.
I realize you are already on meds. But it sounds like you need some daily interactions with a doc and be in a controlled environment for a little while.
Don't be afraid to take that leap. Get the help you need.