My mother never greets me with a hug or kiss. The lack of our relationship now I have my own children really hurts and my children have no grandmother. I've tried talking to her and she hates it. She never listens to anyone.
2006-12-20 07:08:17 · 33 answers · asked by OO7 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Do you think she doesn't love me?
2006-12-20 07:11:30 · update #1
If I go up to her for a hug/kiss she stands there awkwardly not open arms, any feelings whatsoever. There's no emotion.
2006-12-20 07:19:14 · update #2
thanks so much. I really appreciate your comments.
2006-12-21 00:21:07 · update #3
it sounds as though your mother was never greeted with a hug from her own mother and finds it awkward to hug you and your children. she feels that she can show her love without hugs and kisses and just be herself. it must be very hard for your mom as she doesnt know how to show her feelings towards her family. may be she feels overcrowded when huging why dont you try going up to her not holding her but giving her a kiss on the cheek and then just walking away starting a conversation with her and maybe one day she will come to terms with the love your trying to give her. its like trying to teach a puppy new tricks.
good luck x
2006-12-21 00:25:47 · answer #1 · answered by kjw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents never display affection and they must have told me they love me only 2 or 3 times and I'm 30. They are a bit older and it is just the way they were raised when they were children but I greet my friends with hugs and a kiss on the cheek and like my parents some of them were uncomfortable with it but i kept doing is and now my parents expect it as well as my friends. When I arrive home my dad raises his chin slightly to make hie forehead a bit more accessable so I can kiss it - that's his display of affection and it makes me smile now. Just keep hugging her and kissing her and eventually she will start to respond but it may take a while. I don't think it means that she doesn't love you.
2006-12-20 19:42:42 · answer #2 · answered by roisindu2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her a chance, bloody hell your making out that because she doesn't hug and kiss you that she doesn't love you.
My mum, and myself are not the huggy kissy type, some people just aren't. I cant remember the last time I kissed my mum or hugged her but it doesn't mean that I don't love her. Same for my kids, we don't hug and kiss all the time, some relationships don't need it. My kids know that I love them to bits and would do anything for them, if they want a hug, I'm here to give it but I don't feel to do it every time they come home or leave the house.
People show love in different ways.
2006-12-20 18:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jovi Freak 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I am the product of a cold and heartless ***** too. The sad thing is, if you are fertile you can whack out as many kids as you want, and show them no love, but there are people who can't have children, and they ahve to go through hundreds af interviews and research to be allowed to adopt or even foster. madness!!
My mum never gave me ant physical affection, she ran away when I was small, amd I would see her once a year. She didn't even ring me on my birthday or Christmas! Now I have a daughter who is nearly four, I will do anything to prevent the same feelings of rejection that I have felt my whole life.
My mother is in no way deserving of the title of mother, do i doubt she loves me? No, I think she does, but I also think that there are some women out there who should not have had children at all. She definatley qualifies for that. I think your mother loves you, it's just hard for some of these women to articulate feelings, or understand what we require from them as parents.
I used to be so jealous of my friends mothers, though they used to hate their own, I would ahve killed to haev my mother take an interest in me like theirs did. Luckily, I had possibley the worlds greatest dad, who instead of chucking me and my brother in care, or palming us off on a parent, raised us himself.
I think perhaps you should just accept that this is the way she is, there is probably no way to change it I am sorry to say. but it doesn't make you in any way less special or amazing or loved, people like us need to remind OURSELVES of that a little bit more than others, as our mothers won't do it for us.
I am 100% happy and confident without her reassurence(it was a hard battle to get here though) you will be the same soon enough.
xxx
2006-12-20 07:22:08 · answer #4 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem so i realsed that it wasnt a problem with me but her.
so i like you have children of my own i make sure even if they have done the naughtest of things they say sorry and a hug and kiss is given, my kids never go to bed with out a kiss hug and i love you.
dont let history repeat it self.
be a good mum and dont let the way you feel about your mother have the same effect on your children.
big kiss and hug
love moodycow
2006-12-20 23:44:18 · answer #5 · answered by moodycow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say that you need to wake up to an unpleasant reality: You do not have a mother who wants a relationship with you.
It's that simple (and that painful, I know).
But the sooner you stop beating your head against the brick wall of her indifference, the sooner you'll get rid of this headache your desires are causing you. She's never going to change. She doesn't care what pain she's causing you. So, stop beating your head! Limit your interactions with her to the strictly necessary and move on. (You may want to get some counseling to help you learn new behaviors that can help you act in positive ways, rather than falling into the old needy traps of "But I want my mom to love me and I'll do anything for a kiss from her!" )
2006-12-20 07:22:18 · answer #6 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My grandmother never once has cared enough to come and see me or anything she's hateful and i have grown up without a grandma she dislikes my mom and doesn'tcare at all about my father ( her son). I suggest talking to her about this before it becomes too out of hand. Maybe your mother wants to show affection but doesn't really know how as she hasn't for such a long time.
Every child wants a grandma who cares about them without it they just lose that part of life so just talk to your mom about this while you still can, you can't lose anything so go for it, Just break open the bag and force her to listen even though she doesnt want to. Tel her its time to make a decision is she going to be apart of you and your familys life or is she going to abandon the position of grandmother tht she has been given.
2006-12-20 07:28:13 · answer #7 · answered by Natasha!!!! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, as any 00 agent should know, relationships with mothers, really do not work out with you being out at unknown locations.
Just kidding, that but I think tying to get closer to her by visiting, buying her somethings, joking and having a good time together, asking her what she likes, might just get her to understand you better. She is a grandmother who should be there for her grandkids. Your children have a grandmother.
Your momma loves you.She's yourmom. Love is a mother thing.Maybe not good at showing it that much but I think that she loves you
2006-12-20 07:16:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mum is pretty much the same, it's not that she doesn't love me, i know that she does. But she is just from a generation (and a family) that never really showed their emotion.
You need to be the generation to change all that so your children are different.
Have you tried making the first move? ie, going to hug or kiss her?
2006-12-20 07:15:01 · answer #9 · answered by L D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She probablly does love you, but desn't know how to show it. Maybe she didn't get hugs from her mother.
Please don't let this stop you from giving your own children hugs, I used to give my daughter hugs every morning and night and countless times during the day, I also told her I loved her many, many times each day too, but now she isn't here, she died last year and I miss her so much it hurts, your mum will realise far too late as to what she is missing out on, just love your own children as much as they love you. If your mum doesn't want to know you, then that is her loss, not yours, just tell her that life is too short, but you love her and if she doesn't love you, then so-be-it. It will be her that is missing out on your children growing up.
2006-12-20 07:22:31 · answer #10 · answered by angelswings 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋