Dress code for weddings or funerals?

Question

Why dont people still know how to dress for certain occasions? Is it is proper to wear casual/play clothes to a wedding or funeral?

Weddings: some wear shorts, t-shirts, tennis shoes, or flip flops? This is rude to a formal event! Please dont say "you should be comfortable". You can be comfy & not tacky at the same time. If you are an adult & dont own a suit shoes, then you should not be socializing!

Should ladies wear an entirely black outfit? Isnt that the mourning color? & should they try to out-dress the bride? Or look cheap, like they are going to a club or BET video shoot?

Funerals:
Same issue w/ casual. Sometimes it seems the opposite with this & weddings, people tend to try to be flashy. Bright clothes, fancy hats etc.

Am I the only one who sees this? How do you feel about these occasions not being respected eitquite wise by dress code? & those who do it, dont u think it rude or insulting? Do you think about this at all? Ever been told off b/c of it?

for those talking about the "theme" or the persons pesonality & location: all those are valid & I would have to agree. But I am speaking in general terms. Your standard or average wedding. If there is a beach theme, then by all means, wear a wet suit if that is what is called for! But other wise, you are best to show up dressed for the occasion.

Coming in from work & doing a pop in, is fine & understandable. But not if you come with your paper hat on. I realize that there are many variations & little quirks. But what is the reason for coming to a Saturday wedding in jam shorts & flip flops? You could have put on khakis, loafers & an oxford. I am not saying to dress up for the red carpet! Just be appropriate. Dont have them guess if you are there for the wedding or volleyball turnament.

To everything there is a proper way to do it.

Answer 1

I'm with you, I'm from the south and for the most part we still follow etiquette rules down here.

and bright colors to a funeral is rude to the family, you cause a distraction. Saying these rules are outdated and that you shouldn't have to follow them, or try to means you're too lazy to dress right

Answer 2

Tradition dictates that attendees wear black to funerals; however, I believe that the attendee should consider the personality of the deceased, the deceased's family members and their personalities and attitudes, where the funeral is being held, etc. The formality or informality of the event should be gleaned from these factors, then dress accordingly. For instance, you have a surfer dude who never wore a suit in his life. He is not going to want people to wear suits to his funeral. He is also not going to want people to be drab and wear dark colors. He will want them to be full of life and happy and wear happy colors. Of course, he is not alive to have a say in this, so his family may think differently. What sort of event has his family planned? Are they having it in a church? Then chances are, you need to wear a suit or black dress. Are they having the funeral on the beach? Then you can wear shorts and sandals. Hopefully, family members honor the personality of the deceased and do as the deceased would wish. Unfortunately, this, too often, doesn't happen.

For weddings, again, the attendee should consider the personality of the people to be wed, the location of the wedding and the personalities and attitudes of family members and other attendees.

On a personal note, it sounds to me like you're clinging to the past and are trying to force that onto others. Not all people feel that way any more; however, the only real rule should be this: the attendee should take the time and have the consideration to be aware of his or her host's settings and have the respect to dress accordingly.

Answer 3

Not necessarily. Certainly some of your points are valid - time and place for various ways of dress - but I've seen women wearing mostly black to weddings before. Usually they are the elders in the family and widowed. It is never good form to wear white or anything in an attempt to outstage the bride - it's her big day, and no-one ought to ruin it.

Funerals depend on the culture of the deceased and his/her family. What behaviour and mode of dress is considered standard for one ethnic group could be seen as an affront to another. White is worn at Western weddings by the brides; until recent times white was reserved for funerals and mourning in Eastern countries. To this day at Chinese funerals I have seen mourners garbed in both white and black ensembles and neither have caused offense.

As for anyone who's been told off... shan't mention names but at a wedding a few weeks back one of the guest tables had a girl and her date; the dress and behaviour of both were better suited for a night at a club than a fancy restaurant. They were rude, obnoxious and heckled the emcee and various wellwishers (like the best man and the father of the bride).

Eventually someone looked up the girl, who said she'd been invited, only to find she wasn't on the guest list - she was a distant cousin of the bride, yes, but not close enough to merit inclusion on the invitation, which had been addressed to her parents. Restaurant staff evicted both soon afterwards - they went quietly once her non-guest and unwelcome status was pointed out.

Answer 4

I really didn't care how people dressed at my wedding, If I did I would have had a black tie affair. I didn't invite the cloths, I invited the people. About funerals, I just went to a wake wearing my work cloths, the wake was an hour drive from my house and where I work (with traffic). I was almost late to my job, I would hope that they appreciated that I was there for them in their time of need, as any friend would be, rather than what I was wearing. I won't care what anyone wears to my funeral.

Answer 5

Hi. The ONLY color you cannot wear is white -- any shade of it. Black is getting popular. I rarely wear black, but I did so at my own sister's wedding! It was the only dress I could find (I live in a small town). Anyway....I have NEVER heard the rule about red -- I love red!! If you know what color the bridesmaids are wearing....I would definitely stay away from that color....as you and your date may look like you are trying to fit into the wedding party. Other than that.....get what ever you like and looks good on you! Good luck!

Answer 6

I agree that people seem to have left all sense of proper dress. I went to my cousin's funeral in January, and I was shocked at the way people were dressed. I suppose there are people who believe that dress codes are old fashioned. However, when you look at how people dress normally....

I think that being improperly dressed is an insult, however, there is not much we can do, if people aren't taught/told how to dress properly.

Answer 7

Yes i agree. Ive been to many wedding and havent yet seen people under dressed, but for some reason they think its ok for there kid to be running around in bob the builder tshirt and shorts...LOL

People should dress better for these occasions.

Answer 8

but this all depends on things like "is their a theme to the wedding" or maybe the dead persons last wish is that people come his/her funeral in street clothes.

but unless told other wise it's smarter to where a suit to either of those things.


or be like me and wear nothing but a bow-tie and a thong.

and for the women wearing all black at a wedding maybe they are in mourning, it's the reason the guys are all in black.

Answer 9

It is not proper to wear casual clothes to either of these events. Some people just don't care, but that doesn't make it right. I always say that it's better to be overdressed than to be Kevin Federline.

Answer 10

I agree with u all the way .....i dress according to events and weather. but i get very disgusted when i see people take the day off of work and go to a funeral in their scrubs...COME ON!!! you wanna spread more germs?why dont they take a change of clothes to work knowing they are going to a respectve affair.