i am 18 and my boyfriend is 24. we have been together for 4 years and i love him. we both have made our mistakes and i am no diffrent. he cheated on me once in the past 4 years and i have cheated on him once. we both love eachother. weve been having sex ever since i was 16 and now i know i am pregnant idk if he is the father though bc i cheated on him only a few months ago and i am not sure what to do. im really sure he is but not posotive. he knows that i am pregnant and he is happy how do i tell him? how do i tell him also that i dont want the baby i want to have a life idk if i am ready. i mean how do i know if i am ready? what do i do how do i tell him he might not be the father and that i am not sure if i want the baby? he already forgave me for cheating i dont know if hell forgive me for this and i love him i am afraid ill lose him. what do i do?
2006-12-20 06:51:13 · 21 answers · asked by ashley h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
DUMB AND DUMBER
2006-12-20 06:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by tullyln10 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, if you weren't ready for a baby then you shouldn't have started having sex, after all that is what it is for. I am 19 and I have a 1 year old daughter. That little girl is my heart and soul. You were irresponsible enough to get pregnant by accident, you should own up and take care of the innocent child you created. I meant for my daughter so I don't really know what it is like to be pregnant and not want the baby. I really don't miss the whole having a life thing, I actually do have a life...my daughter. Children are a hassel but the biggest blessing you will ever get. As for the baby possibly not being your boyfriends. You can tell him and he may stick around to find the results out but if it isn't his I think he'll leave. It's hard having a reminder of infidelity around all the time. If you feel so strongly about not having the baby, talk to him about it because the last thing we need in this world is yet another young irresponsible mother who didn't really want the baby.
2006-12-20 07:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So let me see, he cheated on you, you cheated on him twice I am guessing, and now you are pregnant and do not know if he is the father, he is excited about the baby but you want an abortion.
Is that right?
Well first, if you two are cheating on eachother than you really don't love eachother and that should be a BIG sign of what is to come in the future.
Second, you NEED to tell him that you cheated (again?) and that the baby may not be his.
Third, You need to tell the other guy that you are pregnant and tell him that the baby may or may not be his.
Fourth, do you really want to kill your unborn baby? If nothing else go for adoption, or let the father have the child and sign off your parental rights to the child if you do not want to keep it since you "want to have a life".
Fifth, your BF needs to leave you and move on because he has obviously wasted his time on an imatur little child that cannot accept her own actions and live with the consequenses.
Having a child does not end your life, it gives you a better one. As a single father I can tell you that given the option I would NEVER pass up on my daughter.
I do not envy your position, but grow up and learn that life isn't one big party to have fun at.
2006-12-20 07:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree with Eva and bfsize15. I will probably get reported for this but, you shouldn't have cheated on him even though he cheated on you. If he cheated on you, YOU LEAVE HIM. Don't go around like a little whore and see who hits your pu$$y first. Now as I read your other questions, you have had a very rough past with drugs and kids. If you are now 18 and you are having a second kid (not even sure if it is the same dad) you really need to put your life together. Also, a box of condoms are only $6. Bottom line is that your soon-to-be child shouldn't have to pay for your mistakes. Life isn't a big party!
2006-12-20 07:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to wait until after the baby is born to find out who the father is. If you do not want this child then you should look into adoption. If someone else is raising the child then it won't matter who the father was. I can't believe that if he knows that you cheated he hasn't done the math and wondered if he is the father or not. There are many websites out there that can give you information about adoption. As a soon to be adopting mother I cannot stress enough that if you are unsure as to whether or not you are ready for this child, please put it up for adoption.
2006-12-20 06:59:23 · answer #5 · answered by miss_fred 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am only 23 and I had my daughter at 21, and I wasn't sure I was ready, but I was raised against abortion. I had my daughter, and it is just her and I, and I knew the minute I laid eyes on her that I wouldn't have changed her for the world. You can still have a life with a child. You are the one that decided to start having sex, so therefore it is your place to take care of your child. If this man has already forgiven you for cheating, then he probably has some questions himself about whether this child is his, but willing to raise the baby either way. My advice to you is to have the child and talk to the boyfriend. Worse comes to worse the baby isn't his, but he would probably raise the child anyway. Have a DNA when the baby is born. Good Luck.
2006-12-20 06:56:54 · answer #6 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
Don't even address the paternity issue.....if you decide to keep the baby, then this man is going to be the baby's father one way or the other...involving this "other" person would be a mistake no matter how you look at it.
Regarding the baby...no one but you can make the decision. If you think that you could deal with being a mother, in any small part of your brain, then you need to tell your man that you are pregnant. He will be able to help you decide about what to do after that.
If you cannot accept the idea of having a baby, then, with that in mind, you need to tell him that, with the extreme likelihood that it is his baby, he should at least know. He will be able to support you emotionally through the abortion process, at the very least.
Don't listen to people about "their" ideas of the morality of abortion. It is a choice that you have to live with, and they do not. This is why I haven't given you my opinion on what you should do.
Namaste,
--Tom
2006-12-20 07:02:42 · answer #7 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon...
My heart goes out to you, but I'm afraid that you've created a whole pile of problems here with your sexual activity & cheating.
If you felt old enough to have sex, you're old enough to take responsibility for your actions & decide what you're going to do about the baby. How far along are you? You may still be able to have an abortion if you feel like that's the best choice for you (although I personally don't support that idea), or you could give the baby up for adoption. Please don't take on the load of raising a child if you don't feel like you're ready for it...there are tons of people in this world who are dying to adopt children, so yours could be one of them.
I also really think you need to find out who your baby's father is (even though I know that'll be tough thing to do!)...it's not fair to ask your boyfriend to take on the responsibility of raising a child who's not his. He has a right to know for sure that the baby is his baby. You've BOTH cheated on each other, so I think you need to just stop the dishonesty and tell him that you think the baby may not be his. I know this won't be easy, but I really think you need to do it.
Best of luck to you...
2006-12-20 07:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You think everyone who gets pregnant is ready for motherhood? You are young! If you have spend most of your teenage life with this guy then you have already bypassed some of the best years of your life. Think about what is best for you. If you love this guy and he is happy to love you and the baby then why tell him? I know it is not what most people would say but why rock the boat? If he loves you and you feel like you want a future with this guy then what good would telling him do?
2006-12-20 07:00:16 · answer #9 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u really love him or u just got used to him?????coz if u love him why did u cheat on him???but whatever.i got pregnant and left everything just for my baby coz abortion is a murder and i m 22 without education and all this stuff.but i have the most precious person and little being in my life.as for telling him...he has a right to know the truth.just find a rite moment for this.
2006-12-20 06:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by sin_talk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know much about paternity tests, but it might be a good idea to try to figure out who the father is before you tell him that it might not be his. Because if you find out that it's been his all along, you've caused a lot of drama by telling him .
2006-12-20 06:53:51 · answer #11 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋