my fiance and i been together for 6 month now, we love each other very much. but this morning he gave me the worst news ever, he said that his ex girlfriend is pregnant and she said its his, i dont know what to do were supose to get married in february. the news is shocking makes me sad but i want to be there for him no matter what, because i love him. im just a really quiet person i dont like drama especially baby mama drama. please helpppppppppppp
2006-12-20 06:47:24 · 16 answers · asked by dont fuck with me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Life is strewn with obstacles. Don't let anything stop you from doing what you feel in your heart. If he is the man for you show him by staying by his side. I am sure if anything came up in your life you wouldn't want him to just bail on you. Love and marriage should be about being there for one another. Marriage does not mean that there will never be problems or even drama it just means that now you have someone by your side no matter what that problem may be. I mean it could be worse you know....he could have decided to just keep it to himself. Don't reward his honesty and openness with abandonment.
2006-12-20 07:01:42 · answer #1 · answered by Wordsmith 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How far long is she? Not that it really matters, what does is that you were ready to spend the rest of your life with someone after only 6 months and now are crying upset because you've found out something about him that doesn't fit into your plans. If you were so ready to make a lifetime commitment to the man, you should be ready to stand by your man thru the drama of dealing with the mother of his child. (And who's to say there will be drama as long as he stays current on his child support. Or better yet, why not postpone the wedding and get to know your partner..and his past...a little better.
Now back to how far along is she? Did she just confront him that she's 6, 7, or 8 months pregnant or about to drop any day now or has he known for a while and just now getting around to telling you? The former means that there may be other "little" things your future husband is keeping from you!
As for the baby mama drama...have your fiance contact an attorney to establish first paternity, then if necessary his parental rights, to set up visitation and child support payments. For you, If you decide to go ahead with the wedding, don't let your income be included with his - keep separate bank accounts, file married filing separate tax forms, but be prepared to help him with his baby.
2006-12-20 07:01:48 · answer #2 · answered by Survivors Ready? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two weren't together when she got pregnant than stay with him he has done nothing wrong. As for being a really quiet person your gonna have to get over that. Boundaries will have to be set and things will have to be said at some point. so you might as well learn now how to stand up for yourself and your man. Stop being so quiet and tell everyone involved just exactly how you feel. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-20 06:52:50 · answer #3 · answered by hippie_chick69love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question is, if you've been together for 6 months then when did she get pregnant? If she got pregnant before y'all got together then she's at least 6 months along, and yet he's just now finding out about it??? Why didn't he know sooner?
If she got pregnant while y'all have been together, then why are you marrying him in 2 mos?
A big issue to consider is if it is his, then that is something you'll have to deal with throughout your relationship with him (however long that lasts)...the kid will be in his life forever, and thus the kid's mother...there will be money (child support) issues, who pays for doctor/insurance issues, babysitting/custody/visitation issues and she'll have something to hold over him and manipulate him with forever (if she's that type)...
Not a fun road ahead...
2006-12-20 06:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if i was you if y'all continue to get married then that means that y'alls love is strong so just be there for him to help support his child because he will appreciate it and he will know that you are truly the one that loves him because you stuck with him through this big drama...hopefully this makes sense to you GOOD LUCK Best wishes sorry if it doesnt help much
2006-12-20 06:57:44 · answer #5 · answered by Liddy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Support your man in this IF it is his. You do not know it is his for sure and until you do I wouldn't worry about it. She can claim it is his all she wants but until there is a paternity test proving it is his I would suggest the 2 of you continue on with your lives!
2006-12-20 06:51:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mystic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first. You guys have to get a paternity test. Then go from there. If it's his, support him, even though times will be hard. If you love him then it's the best thing to do.
2006-12-20 06:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
shouldnt be a huge problem if she got pregnant before you got together. Sounds like you are moving a little fast in this relationship. You have your whole life, take your time.
2006-12-20 06:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by crazzzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave him. you dont want to be second or third. something doesnt sit right about this issue. what if he cheated on you with her? how do you know that he hasnt known this way before now? do you really want to rely on this uncertainty? find out that details before you make your decision. good luck.
2006-12-20 06:52:16 · answer #9 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, you have to deal with it. just tell him how you feel and get it off your chestd, overwise it's just gonna blow up and that resentment for her is gonna switch over to him. but you have to realize that he is mosdt likely confused as you are. and by the way. you do realize that he was hitting it back then and you were most likely rebound girl, right? just lettin you know
2006-12-20 06:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by shady_charisma15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋