Do I worry to much about my Daughter?

Question

After 4 and a half years my Daughter has never had anyone drive her around but me or my Husband. People want to take her places I'm just to worried something will happen and I won't be there. She has slept over at her grandma's house twice within the last 5 months every time she is gone I freak out. When I think about her going to school I cry (I have not left her side in 4 1/2 years). I have no idea what im going to do when she get friends and wants to sleep over at there house all the time. Will I get over this or does it get worse?

Answer 1

I'm not a parent so I can't speak from experience but this is my opinion.....Can't the same bad things happen whether you are there or not? I mean, can't the same accident happen even if you are standing right there? You have to realize you are not a super-mom and you can't shelter your daughter from all the bad in the world. Look back at your childhood. I'm sure your mom wasn't there with you every minute and you have turned out fine. I mean you obviously turned out to be a very loving mother. And your mom wasn't with you 24/7, right? Think about it like that. You can't be everywhere at once. Children go to school every day, and Yes, bad things happen sometimes. But way more children go to school and come home unharmed everyday than those who don't.

Answer 2

Stay clam its okay.Its understandable that you feel this way.No doubt your a good mother.But being a good mother also means helping her develop into an independent person.Start off with what I would call reinforcing her safety and your well mindedness.Sit her down and explain to her in a manner she can understand,that she is a big girl and you would like to let her go places with other family members.This is the time to teach her basics (or reminder her) like her phone number,where she lives (state,road and adress) and what to do if there is an emergency.This is also the perfect time to again teach or remind her about strangers,and what to do in a situation if one aproches her.Role play with her to show her diffrent situations.You also may want to invest in an child identifcation bracelet.If other people say you are nuts and you need to let go,ignore it.You are establishing good safty habits while establishing confidence in you little girl.I see that it will be family takeing her out,and maybe to help you with the transition they can start off with small trips right up the road and back.When she comes home ask questions,she will be so happy you want to hear about her day.This will reinforce your comunnication habbits with her.I promise you will be ok.You will never stop worrieing because you are a mom.But atleast if you know she is informed it will bring you some peice of mind.Good luck.You can do this!

Answer 3

Oh, you're such a good mom!
I'm the same way, and my daughter is only approaching 20 months old...
...but it's normal to be this concerned- don't worry...sorry, wrong word!

It's completely fine to feel so loving towards your daughter and I don't think you can EVER worry too much about your children and their safety. I guess though, that when she has gone out a few times to her friend's houses (after you've ensured that everything is in order at those houses) whilst you will still worry, your confidence will rise, turning it into valid concern...at least your not deciding upon home schooling to avoid this issue- this would make me think that you're caring too much :)

But your levels of concern about this as yet unknown situation is fine. Remember it will get better as time goes on :)

Answer 4

I'm the same way, but I guess my feeling is the world is a different place than it was twenty years ago. There is a lot to worry about. But the good thing about worry is: if you're worrying about it, it means it hasn't happened, right? I know most the things I worry about have a miniscule chance of actually happening, but what can you do? I think it's normal, unless it's something that is making you fearful about life in general, or depressed, or making you consistently lose sleep, in which case you might benefit from talking to a therapist and getting your fears out in the open, and learn how to manage them.

Answer 5

If you don't get a grip you will have your child thinking there is something wrong with going to school, having friends, and living life in general. She sounds normal but your the one having an overactive problem. It is nice to see a mother who cares and worries, and tries to make sure nothing will happen to her daughter. But life will go on and Happen weather you are there or not. Did something happen to you as a child that you thought your parents should have been there ? Remember she is not you, and has a whole different life. You need to think positive thoughts not bad ones. See yourself smiling as she goes off to school and embrace the moment in love. Why would you want to fill your life with fear instead of a wonderful memory for you and her. Let her go mom ! only in that way will you be able to keep her close. She will grow up to resent you not love you. Its your choice. I kept my daughter close to me also, but not with all the fears you have. She is now 43 , loves me to death, calls me her best friend. She did not get this far by living off my fears. If you keep getting worse. Get counseling before you destroy your relationship with your daughter. Good luck.

Answer 6

you should be protective,,, and you will adjust as she grows older,,,,,, there isnt a need or reason for her to be without you and your husband,,,,, my daughter only was babysat one time, at the age of 3, for a few hours by her grandmother(who happened to be in town) by the time she starts school, she will be old enough to voice her concerns, and tell you what has gone on etc,,,,,, do have the "no one touches your privates" convo, along with never go with strangers or even family members,,,,,, talk with her,,,,,,,, i homeschooled my daughter till she started first grade, then she had friends over at our house for sleepovers,,,, was around age 8 when i let her go to one,,,, and she broke her arm playing lol,,,, so you just never know,,,,, but there sure isnt a reason to send them out too early,,,,,always get to know the parents before you let your child sleep over, go anywhere with anyone,,,,,,, and keep in mind, no they most likely wont watch or take care of your child as well as you will, that is just reality,,,,, i was always amazed at the ones who would let their child stay at my home, without sometimes having even meet me! my daughter is now 19, in college,,,,, and is well adjusted,,,,,,,, so i say, protect them and keep them close while they are young,,, give them more freedom in small doses that increase, when they hit the teen years,,,,,

Answer 7

You can never worry too much about your daughter.So much crazy stuff going on now a days.I have 6 boys ages 25 months to 17 years old.I worry about them everytime they go out the door without me.It is normal to worry about a loved one.But you must let her go places without you(With another responsible adult).It is good for her and you both.I can still remember when my oldest started school.I stood there crying.He was happy to go to school.First time he slept away from the house without me I stayed awake all night,well he slept just fine.I do worry about others getting into accidents with my kids in their car but hey thats why I say extra prayers.It`s hard to let your child be away from you but you have to and it`s better at her age then later in life.If you wait too long she may be scared to go anywhere without you because after all you are teaching her to fear others if you are not with her.I have learn to worry but not to worry my kids.

Answer 8

This is normal, u just seem a lil over protective which is good these days and times.
U just have to have faith that God will look after her as she grows older .
U dont own your daughter, u just brought her into the world to teach and guild her in a positive direction until she is on her own.
Just think positive and let these negative feelings go.
Prayer is your key to less misery.

Answer 9

take it from a 17 year old boy, whose father died at the age of 5 and his mother had to take care of him, ME! at the age of ten I was let to do stuff the way I kinda wanted, but even now I feel supervised... I think I know what you want to say... It will get better trust me! and don't freak out! nothing wrong will happen TRUST ME ! you do worry too much, but it's normal, it's probably your first child! Try bringing her grandma in the picture, it helped me... (sorry for the bad English, hope I helped)

Answer 10

You need to let go. She is growing up and needs to experience things. Loosen the apron strings a bit. You can't keep children wrapped up in "bubble wrap" all their lives. They need to live. Sure there are bumps along the way but that's called life.