Ok, I know its WRONG. But basically, I have been with a guy for 2 years. I love him and would eventually like to end up with him. When we got together, I was a virgin--so he was my first (I had done pretty much everything else except straight up sex.) He had slept with 4 other girls. For some reason this really bothers me and lately I have contimplated breaking up with him so that I can go out and have sex with random person A to make sure that my boyfriend is the one I want. I know this is wrong, but just wondering about others opinions or if anyone else has ever felt this way. Thanks!
2006-12-20 06:19:58 · 17 answers · asked by Jen B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just wanted to add that I guess I am not ok with the fact that he has been with others and I haven't. I have that in the back of my head, but he knows hes the only one I have been with. I by no means want to go out and whore myself out, but alot of my friends say that you never marry your first. (I am 20 by the way)
2006-12-20 06:37:14 · update #1
eh so you want to go out and sleep with random people to see weather or not you will know if its ur boyfriend who you want?? seem to me like you just wanting ur cob webs blown out chick. if you have to sleep with RANDOMS to know what ur true feelings are about ur boyfriend then ur not worth a light!!! as for having sex with a random person have you not seen the news about aids recently? you either love ur boyfriend and know what you want now or you dump him then slag around, women like you have a name infact GIRLS like you put us women down,make us out to be a Sllllaaaaggg shame on you!
2006-12-20 06:28:27 · answer #1 · answered by ice_castles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a legitimate question. It is wrong that you want to sleep with other people while you are in a relationship. However, you sound rather young. Therefore, your scenario is 100% absolutely normal and understandable.
However, you need to be careful. You mentioned that you want to sleep with a "random" person. This is not safe.
If you are having these feelings, you need to take a step back from your relationship and live your life freely; not being tied down to one person. If you feel the need to explore other things then that's what you should do. You should never stay tied down to something or someone if you are unsure about how you feel.
My advice to you is this: You are young. Go out and live your life. Explore new and different things (always being safe, of course). Only through doing this will you be able to find out what exactly it is that you want in life.
2006-12-20 14:30:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do it- just don't try to get your boyfriend back afterwards.
It sounds to me like that is what you had in mind. It's selfish and unfair and indicates you don't really love him that much at all. So forget it. This is your subconscious mind telling you you are over this guy and it is time to move on, and the part of you that's still in love with him is refusing to listen.
Or, I would suggest being completely honest. Tell him you love him but you really want to **** other people, so you're going to have to break up with him, and you'll give him a call as soon as you decide you're tired of sleeping around and want him back.
Then ask for his thoughts on the matter.
2006-12-20 14:32:51 · answer #3 · answered by randomstupidhandle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jen... I have one name for you. Jessica Simpson. She made a big deal about "waiting" and now look at her.
My point of bringing that up... you're not alone. Many people go through things like this.
It's perfectly natural to feel this way. What you have to decide is... what's more important to you. Sexual experimentation, or your boyfriend?
Another thing to remember... having sex, is alot like riding a bike. There are different styles, different types, shapes and sizes, but after all is said and done, you're still riding a bicycle.
Sex with other people, isn't all it's cracked up to be. In fact, the person who will have the best sex with you, is the person that knows you, knows your body, and knows what buttons to push to give you an orgasm.
It's natural to be curious about other people... what you have to think about is... Is sex with some random guy more important to you than love?
On another note... with your current man... maybe to spice things up a little....tell him you want to try some different things. Get a tantric sex book, or kama sutra and try some new things out... It might not be a different man... but it could seem like it as you try new things.
2006-12-20 14:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your body is a holy temple belonging to God. If you destroy it ~ then surely God will destroy you.
At least that's what my best friend used to preach to me way back in high school when she was still a "wiergin"? Until after she did it with her first boyfriend before graduation ~ then broke up with him and afterwards, joined the army and eventually moved on to doing it with over 30+ different army guys?
Point is ~ sexual morality is based on how you define your own actions. How you decide upon your sexuality and who you sleep with is a decision you make for yourself, despite its consequences. The question is - do you want a meaningful relationship or would you prefer to go with the 'whistle stop'?
2006-12-20 16:29:21 · answer #5 · answered by Bunnytoes:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must don't think much of yourself to want to take such a risk. You should think of yourself more worthy than to sink so low to allow yourself to catch diseases or have an unwanted pregnancy. Life is not that bad. You need to focus on the more important things of life. Work towards your goals and dreams that you have because guys will come and go.
2006-12-20 14:32:37 · answer #6 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To break up with someone just have sex with someone else, let alone someone random, is just a wrong as having sex with someone else while you are still in the relationship.
If you want to break up with him because you aren't sure if he's the one for you is one thing, but just to do it to have sex is stupid...and dangerous! And then what, he's supposed to take you back with no recriminations?
Ask yourself this...would you want him back if he left you just to have sex with someone else...and then called you a couple of days/weeks later wanting to get back with you?
2006-12-20 14:35:16 · answer #7 · answered by Survivors Ready? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know that this is not a good enough reason to share yourself with another person.
If you are having doubts other than for physical and purely sexual reasons then it makes sense.
What other purpose do you have to rock this boat? You seem confused, it seems deeper than just sex.
2006-12-20 14:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by RealChic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wouldn't feel this way if you were happy in your relationship. You should tell him that you want to take a break. If you end up back together, you'll know it was meant to be.
2006-12-20 14:26:37 · answer #9 · answered by Wren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not bad to sleep wt others but make sure u dont make urself a ***** sleeping around.but usually ur first guy isnt always the last.but if u love him stick to him.u still av plenty of time to play around
2006-12-20 14:27:53 · answer #10 · answered by dupsydups 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋