We've been in a relationship for 3 years.He tells me not to tell people about it.?

Question

I've known him for 5 years.We've been in a relationship for 3 years.We are from different religions. He was my best friend before this. He's extremely reserved and shy. he tells me its best not to tell too many people about it since somehow people at home may find out about it. But he's allowed me to tell my close friends..but he's not told a soul yet. Am i right in pursuing and believing in this relationship to be a true and everlasting one?

Answer 1

I think that if he really loves u he should deal with the persons and he`s got nothing to loose if everyone know about it.

Answer 2

Hm mm,quite a situation!Don't have a good feeling on this 1.Its better that somehow this love story gets mentioned to his folks..true love can overcome any obstacle thrown in its path.Why is he so scared about his parents finding it out,if he knew different religion was a problem or unacceptable at his place why did he begin a love story with you?I have a feeling that some day he may just surprise you and say my parents don't accept this and i cannot go against their wishes....In 5years did he not find 1 opportune time to take this matter up at home in jest or humour and get started..I doubt his intention..and I don't want to corrupt or spoil or poison your mind against him.

I think you should get a little more firm on getting commitments from him a little more persuasive that he should let people and his folks know as soon as possible..test water..as to what you are in for,where does this lead to..You have already invested 5years and you are clueless about the outcome?

Be wise avoid hurt,take a stance and decide!
Luck n Cheers..

Answer 3

If you have doubts about wither or not your relationship with him is true, then you need to ask. If he knows that he broke family rules and expectations in order to have a relationship with you, then he has already chosen his heart over his religious up bringing. Sometimes families can be lost in the details of the circumstances surrounding the way two people met each other and fell in love and lose sight of the important issues of how deeply in love they are and that they are willing to make compromises in an effort to make the relationship work. Some of these compromises may not be shared by family. Sometimes what the don't know wont hurt you.

Answer 4

There is something fishy going on here. My boyfriend is very shy and reserved too but people know about me and how long we've been together.
I think you need to ask him why he won't tell anyone about the two of you. You've been together long enough that he shouldn't have a problem introducing you to people or at least letting them know you exist. Maybe he is seeing someone else or the whole religion thing is a bigger issue than you realize.

Answer 5

This is strange, it says a lot about the person, he is not sure of himself, he is not proud of what he is doing, he is a person who wants to please people than himself, he is not confrontational if any objection arises in his family due to the difference in religions, its a clear message you dont make him proud, that you are not ok for him (he would tell the world about his love if you were of the same religion),
YOu on the other hand have given a clear message that you are tollerent of his behavior, think it over, if you marry him, you will have to put up with more and more, and live like a secondary grade citizen in your own household, it will always be you to adapt and not him......watch out! Its not late.

Answer 6

dont continue with the relationship if it is not to be made known to many people. If he leaves you afterwards it will be a lot of pain on your part but if he continues the relationship and takes it to next level than y is he afraid to tell others now. If you parents dont know about this tell them first because if something happnes between you and this guy it will be you parents who will come to help you unconditionally you friends will leave you in dispair. Frank advice tell your parents first and than let everybody else know.

Answer 7

You know what....that aint right, it sounds like he's ashamed of your the relationship he has with you, granted having a relationship with someone with a different religious beleif is tough but he should have thought about that before he went out with you...3 years? I say tell everyone you know and if he gets mad then he's not worth your precious time. Good Luck!

Answer 8

what ? 3 years and he hasn't told a soul yet !!!!
dear , love is not a thing to be ashamed off . instead its a feeling which one should be proud of. he's playing with you and your emotions . even a loner confides in someone . Confront him with this matter calmly. don't be angry or sad while talking to him about it. just talk to him very sternly and if it doesn't work out then plz dear for your own good sake MOVE ON ! ALL THE BEST !

Answer 9

If he doesn't want people to know it's because he doesn't see you as a worthy partner and fears that if people were to find out it might make it seem as if he has compromised his standards by dating you. Trust me, something's up. Even though you were friends before he doesn't see you as a mate, more of a convenience. He sees the "true" inner you and this is what attracts him but he doesn't know wether to make it official because he's probably always seen himself with someone who's more up to his standards physically.

Answer 10

I understand the religion differences, but I dont think its right that he doesnt want people to know. So Im going to have to say let go of this relationship, well first maybe u should talk to him about telling people, and let him know how much it bothers u.

Answer 11

leave... right... now!!

If he doesn't want people to know he in a relationship with you, he's either REALLY shy, subconsciously thinks you're REALLY ugly, or a combination of both. You should find someone who is not ashamed to have you under his arm... There are 3 billion of us guys in the world, so there's not a shortage!! But not me 'cause I'm married...