Seems like a stupid question, but my girlfriend (whom I love so much) is frequently off with me and quite nasty/horrible. I know she cares about me a lot, but she is awful at expressing it. "You always hurt the one you love" springs to mind. I've talked to her about it before, but nothing really has changed and it upsets me that my girlfriend treats me kind of like I'm her lapdog and talks to me like I'm a bit of crap.
I love her more than anything, so that's why this is harder than just "finding somebody else."
Advice would be much appreciated, thank-you!
2006-12-20 06:04:07 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What she is doing is called abuse. She knows she is hurting you and is doing nothing to stop her behavior.
You could try seeing a counselor together. If her behavior does not change, it's time to move on. Your staying with her only gives her the message that her abusive behavior is okay and this only enables her to do it more.
Perhaps leaving her is the greatest act of love you can do for her. This will send her a strong message that she needs to change if she wants a lasting relationship with anybody. If she truly loves you, she will do her best to change how she treats people she is supposed to love. If she doesn't, that shows her lack of love and respect for you.
I know you were looking for an answer on what you can do to make her nicer to you, but abusers rarely change for their partners. You really do deserve better than that. I don't suggest "finding someone else" but perhaps you need time away from any relationship to think over the value of your happiness and why you are attracted to someone who does not value you.
2006-12-20 06:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No girlfriend (or any kind of friend, really) should ever be nasty, rude, hurtful, or disrespectful towards you. There's no excuse for it, and you shouldn't be making excuses for her.
I'm inclined to think that anyone who's such a shrew isn't good relationship material to begin with, but if you really do care about her, then you need to stand up for yourself. Every time she puts you down, call her on it and tell her that it's not okay (don't put her down, just tell that her behavior's a problem). If she continues, then stop seeing her until she apologizes. And if she doesn't, you're doing yourself a favor in being rid of her. Spend some time with friends who treat you right and take note of the difference.
2006-12-20 06:17:54 · answer #2 · answered by Blenderhead 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you stand up for yourself when she does that or do you just let her say whatever and do whatever she wants to? If you let her get away with it at the time it probably does no good to bring it up later. Next time she says something nasty to you ask her why she said that. Tell her you don't appreciate being talked to like that and won't tolerate it anymore. And say it in a way that she knows you mean what you say. Demand that you be treated with the respect that you deserve. Confront her about it every time she does it and make yourself clear. Then, if it doesn't improve, you need to move on. Why would you want to be with someone who treats you like crap? You have to be tired of it or you wouldn't be talking about it here. I understand that you love her, but you have to love yourself more and give yourself the opportunity to be with someone who is nice to you. Life is too short to allow yourself be treated badly!
2006-12-20 06:14:18 · answer #3 · answered by Tallulah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there's always threating her in the relationship? I don't mean health wise, I mean like giving her a warning. You can't live with her like this forever dude! You gotta find a way to stop her from going on like this. You might end up finding another person who loves you. I know it's hard to hear, I know that it's nothing you want to happen, but dude come on.... think of your future. You don't want a nasty wife nagging and treating you less than what you really are, you don't want that. If she dosn't change then you'll end up having to deal with a lot more pain of trying to end it then you will now. the longer the more attached you'll be with her. The more abuse you'll go through, the more it'll be worse and worse. Fix it or end it. Trust me on this bro, she's not worth it if she can't see you eye to eye, in that level any ways.
2006-12-20 06:11:56 · answer #4 · answered by Patient NightShade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, verbal or in your case, emotional abuse is just the same as physical abuse..it's wrong. You have to think more of yourself so that this doesn't continue and your self esteem goes down the drain if it hasn't already.
You say you love her so sit her down and tell her you need to talk. Tell her how she makes you feel and tell her that you want to stay with her, but if she doesn't treat you with respect that you deserve,you are leaving.
Simple as that.
Life is too short to be treated badly when there are so many other people out there who would not. Trust me, I've been there.
2006-12-20 06:10:33 · answer #5 · answered by Optimistic1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the only help i will supply you is that this. This guy screams at you he hates you. he's violent. he's asking for yet another lady. I worry to your protection as he isn't sane. you would be able to desire to have some satisfaction in your self. i've got not got faith you adore him. Why could I say that? for the reason which you of course do no longer love your self, so which you would be able to no longer probable love everybody else. i do no longer even have childrens although that's by ability of selection and that i'm the right age to be a grandmother, yet nonetheless, even i'm no longer able to think of no longer putting those childrens first- and meaning you would be able to desire to make YOU a concern and smash out out of your deranged husband so as which you would be satisfied, and specific, you finally would be. you in basic terms would desire to work out that destiny place/ element on your existence and artwork in direction of it. you would be able to desire to seek for scientific care to appreciate why you tolerate his abuse and specific, utilising worry is abuse. sturdy success.
2016-12-11 12:58:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is make sure that you communicate your feelings, if she is willing to listen then the two of you can create a realistic solution (maybe not easy, but you can work together). If not, sometimes you have to accept that people are the way they are and that sometimes it can't be changed. Good luck!
2006-12-20 06:07:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You teach people how to treat you. Lay down the law. Tell her she hurts your feelings and that you will not accept it any longer. If things don't improve - leave her. It may seem harsh, but if she cant change now, how will she ever? You don't want to waste years of your life on someone who is undeserving of your love.
2006-12-20 06:09:16 · answer #8 · answered by mammamia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she loves you she should stop treating u that way. You've mentioned to her b4, and nothings chnaged, she needs to repect you and it doesnt really seem like she does. Talk to her about it firmly one more time, tell her that if things dont change then your going to end things. You shouldnt stay in a realtionship that way even if your in love. It is not worth all that, trust me
2006-12-20 06:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by ReRe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to realize that this will not change. It sounds like this is just the way she is and you would do best to decide if you want to live the rest of your life this way. If the answer is no, you have to break up, whether you love her or not.
2006-12-20 06:08:49 · answer #10 · answered by cldb730 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋