Christians what do you think of CP see below for ?

Question

I heard it said spare the rod spoil the child and many christians beleive in spanking and hitting and being forceful with children like har pulling and pushing your child against the wall. I am against CP which is corporal punishment because I have been damaged by it and hurt as a child because of this. In my home the belt was used and so was the wooden spoon and my folks called this "correction" no we were not hit every day but when the folks felt we were disprectful or mishbehaved we got disciplined. I have to say in all honesty and thruthfulness that in many ways I am gald I do not live at home anymore so I dont have to deal with difficult people. I have forgiven my parents because that is what the Lord would want me to do, but if I had children I would do this much different. My question is are there other ways to correct children other than hitting or spanking? Thank you for your answers and God bless you.

Answer 1

I think it is absolutely wonderful that you have peace regarding the childhood you experienced. From the point of view of an older parent, I try very hard not to lose my temper with my children. The very reason you stated about your upbringing always comes to mind with me...I don't want my children to remember me that way, and I also do not want them to carry the burden of forgiveness of me when I have passed away. The most positive way to show children that their actions have consequences is to punish them by removing the things they love. Such as telephone rights, TV watching, going out with friends, etc. No threats, just action. I have found this to be very effective. Speaking in a calm manner when they are screaming, or simply walking away until they have calmed down. I believe it is called "letting go of the other end of the rope". Think of a tug of war game. Let them keep holding on and angry. The adult should remove themself from the anger.

Answer 2

I have seen many Christians go overboard with the 'spare the rod' mentality. That drives me crazy!!

A simple spanking [no implements] in itself is not abuse. But, done while the parent is still angry, or before having the chance to explain to the child what they did wrong, is also abuse. I was spanked as a child, but honestly not abused. I always thought spanking was OK, until I had a child myself. I cannot bring myself to hit that child. He's not perfect, and he does get time-outs and things taken away now and then, but no physical punishment at all. [my husband, on the other hand [no pun intended!] WAS abused, and he doesn't hit at all]

I think a child is too precious to mentor them with physical violence. That is what parenting is: teaching a child to make their own way in the world. I do not wish to teach my son to solve problems with violence, or discipline in anger.

Everyone has to decide what's right for them [within reasonable limits]. I'm just saying what's right for me.

Answer 3

There is a difference between hitting and spanking. I do believe in spanking- but doing it in love, explaining to my children why they are getting a spanking, and how I love them so much I do not want to see them grow up to have a yucky heart and not follow God- and I tell them if I didnt' love them, I would not spank them and that would mean I didnt care what they were like when they grew up. God teaches that spanking is right....but it is not walking up to your child and slapping them....I first tell them to go to their room, then I sit and talk with them- after spankings we pray ( well I try to remember to pray each time) It is how you do it, and show your child the importance of obedience to their parents and to God. A lot of kids are not disciplined these days- and they get away with a lot. Be Firm and Loving at the same time, there is a way to do this! I also do time outs, depending on the situation or I take away a favorite toy...depending on the punishment. So I do think there are different situations- but spankings are definately used and my kids know they need to honor and obey their parents- in the Lord for this is right! As it says in Ephesians 6:1 I believe it is.

Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son,but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Answer 4

Hair pulling and pushing are NOT acceptable forms of punishment. Neither is spanking your child when you are angry or without lovingly explaining why they are getting a spanking.

Spanking is Biblical but many people use the verse "Spare the rod" to justify their angry outbursts toward their children. There are many, many verses that deal with anger. Also, one that says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath." Spanking is good but must be done calmly, and with an explanation to the child and love afterwards.

There are many other ways of correcting children. Watch Supernanny! She is great! My son sometimes responds to spankings but sometimes he doesn't. He is 2 and HATES to be put in his bed without toys to play with. Every child is different. The goal is that the child learns to respect others and behave. That doesn't have to always be accomplished by a spanking.

Answer 5

Of course there are other ways. I doubt the rod was ever intended to be the end-all to avoid a spoiled child. I think the principle is that discipline was in order. I'm okay with spanking, not hitting or slamming or the stuff you mentioned. And even spanking a child should be a last resort. And it should be out of love and not anger.

Answer 6

Hitting a child, pulling their hair and/or pushing them against a wall is not CP it is criminal and should be stopped and/or reported to the police. CP should be administered in a caring manner, it's intent is to change behavior not punish. If CP can not be given in that manner then it should never be given!!!
And yes there are many other ways of correcting a child and often/always will be unique to the child and the situation.

Answer 7

CP is a slippery slope. There are some situations where CP is appropriate, indeed sometimes it is the only viable course of action. However, I feel that it should be the rare exception rather than the rule. Many parents resort to CP simply because they have lost control of themselves and are lashing out in anger and frustration. Anytime this happens, it is no longer discipline, and it has crossed over the line into physical abuse IMO.

Answer 8

I'd bet that when you are in a restaurant, your don't leave a huge mess for the wait staff to clean up. I bet that in school, you are respectful of your teachers and adults in general. Look around you. The losers that make life miserable for everyone are the ones that were spared the rod. I'm sorry you feel that you were abused. I think they felt they were doing the right thing and probably were. You SHOULD want to leave home as soon as you can. Way too many 25 yr olds hanging around bumming off mom and dad.

Answer 9

You're not supposed to abuse the child when you spank them, or pull thier hair. That's just wrong.

Spare the rod just means not disciplining your child when he/she KNOWS what he/she did was wrong. Use something other than your hand to do it (like a spoon) so the child doesn't associate your hand with pain. But when they see the spoon, they'll listen.

Spoiling doesn't mean 'spoiled' in modern terms here. It's like spoiling milk, it becomes disgusting and wicked, evil, selfish.

That verse is mainly about discipline, and the best way to discipline is a good spank here or there. :D

Answer 10

every child is different I have one who may get a spanking everyday and the other 1 in a 2 week period. Some people hit there kids in anger that is not correct.