My Friend Self Harms How do i get her to Stop?

Question

My friend is 17 and recently told me that she cuts herself as she hates her life so much. She says she is a failure and that nobody would miss her after she is gone! I have talked to her and got her to confide in me and she told me that she tried to hang herself but the rope snapped.... However she has sais to me that she wants to die but wount try to kill herself again.. I dont want to go to a shrink/parents/teachers as i dont no where she cuts all i do no is that it is not on her arms as i have seen her lower arms and they have no marks. So i dont know where she cuts and she will just deny it. She appears to have started after she stooped hanging out with her usual "gang" I dont see any other reasons for her cutting. She isnt the type to look for attention. What should i do?

Answer 1

I would tell her you are mad at her for hurting your friend. Treat it as if she is two different people, the one who does the cutting and the one who is the victim. The victim is your friend, and you are righteously indignant with the one who does the cutting.

This technique gives her a chance to dissociate from the cutter, so you are not mad at HER. But once she dissociates from the cutter, she will no longer need to cut her body. Then you can congratulate your friend on having conquered the cutter.

My Steve used to refer to my temper outbursts as "demon attacks." But in quiet moments we agreed that I was responsible for telling those demons to get behind me, and to fight them if they will not go away willingly. We both knew it as a sort of metaphor, but we also knew it as a way to get out of the useless guilt trips. I could be complimented on my defenses, but he could still be sympathetic if I failed to get the better of a given demon on a given day.

Answer 2

This sounds like me when I was 17. You know what my friend did? She turned me in to a school guidance counselor......initially I was really mad, but then I realized she did it because she cared. The way I see it, you have two choices. Tell the guidance counselor or tell her parents. It is worth the risk of the friendship to see that she gets the help she needs.
Just becasue you can;t see any reason why she should be depressed, doesn;t mean that is the way she sees it. Also remember that she could have some underlying medical/mental condition that even she is not aware of.

I cut on my arms, but there are other places.....legs, stomach. Please, do her a favor....she is telling you becasue she wants someone to help her and show they care.

Drop an anonymous note. At least if something should happen, you know that you tried to do the right thig and get her help.

Answer 3

I understand how she feels, I have felt the same way. My best advice it to try and get her to see a therapist, and try meds. That's what has helped me. I know you say you don't want her to see a therapist but trust someone with experience, It helps!

Try and ask her why she thinks these things, try to get her to seek help. If you ever feel like she's actually going to kill herself please! Call the police!

I had called a friend one night and told him that I had slit my wrist, he called the police and told me how to stop the bleeding. Because of that I now am seeking help and taking meds and doing better now because of his phone call.

Don't worry if you think that she'll hate you, I sure if it ever came to that, she wouldn't hate you. I wouldn't...

She need to talk to someone, and if your willing, that person could be you.

Best of luck & much love!
feel free to email me: [e-mail]

Answer 4

She needs professional help. Self mutililation and suicide attempts are nothing to play around with. I understand you don't want to betray her by telling her parents or a teacher, but would you rather she be alive and feel betrayed or dead with her confidences intact?

Answer 5

Tell her parents!!! Don't take any chances.

Answer 6

put her in a straight jacket