What is funniest joke ever?

Answer 1

Americans actually electing George Bush to a second term.

Answer 2

Meo, I don't know about funniest, one of my all time favourites:

Paddy arrived in England to make his fortune and found himself in a very rich area of Hampstead called Millionaires Row. He went up to one of the houses and asked the owner who answered the door if he had any odd jobs to be done. ‘How much do you charge’ asked the owner. ‘One pound an hour’ answered Paddy. ‘OK’ said the gent, ‘you can mow the lawn for a start and I’ll see how good you are’. Paddy had a look and saw that the lawn was bigger than any field he had ever seen in Ireland. However, he soon got stuck in with the manual mower. He finished in an hour and returned to the gent. ‘Is there anything else sir’ Paddy asked. The gent looked at the lawn and saw that it was perfect. ‘Well done, you can now cut the hedge’. Paddy looked and saw a hedge that was at least 300 yards long and six feet high but once again he got stuck in. After an hour he returned to the gent and said ‘That will be 2 pounds sir, for two hours’. The gent saw that the hedge had never looked better and said to Paddy. ‘There is one last little job for you. If you go around the back beside the porch you will find a tin of red paint. I think you can finish painting it in half-an-hour’. Away went Paddy and was back in twenty minutes. He asked for his money - all of 2 pounds 50. The gent paid him and then said ‘Paddy you do a very good job so I’ll give you a tip. People around here can afford much more than a pound an hour. In future ask for a fiver an hour’. ‘Thank you very much sir’ said Paddy ‘and I’ll give you a tip too sir. It isn’t a porch, it’s a Mercedes’.

Answer 3

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

Answer 4

the funniest one ever has got to be the one with the guy and the other one who had that stuff. Then, they do that thing, with the whatchamacallit, and you know...and then the other one says that line about that thing...and it goes on for a while talking about all that stuff, you know... and then that great punchline about that one other thing! You know what I mean! AAww man! I just cant hear that one enough. I am still crying laughing now! WOW! thats good. Good times, good times. Thanks for reminding me! I needed that laugh!

Answer 5

A man asked a wizard ot make him 1000 times smarter.
What did the wizard turn him into?

A woman


A woman asked a wizard to make it so she doesn't have to clean or do any dishes ever what did the wizard turn her into?

A man

Answer 6

How are a mesquito and a blonde different?

-- The mesquito stops sucking after you smack it.

Answer 7

Adam snuck up behind Eve and put his hands over her eyes and said,"guess who?"
Eve said,"George?"

Answer 8

Four way stop... Got Bacon?

Answer 9

Dont really know right off hand

Answer 10

Too many to put