I'm 32 and male...I've been thinking about the subject of children lately. Basically, I go back and forth between wanting children and not wanting them. I like kids and kids seem to love me...I just currently like giving them back at some point.
My fears are: knowing and conducting proper discipline (when needed), having enough time (both to do my things and to take care of children properly), having a handicapped child (my little sister is mentally retarded and a huge burden on my parents...though they love her), and being able to adequately provide for a child (Even though I make enough money).
Some reasons I hear are:
1) Don't you want to see what your child will look like?
2) Children keep you young.
3) Eventually, you won't have anyone to hang out with, because all your friends will be married with children.
I believe these are silly reasons to bring a child into the world. What are the other reasons you have children? Do you feel you have to or is there more?
2006-12-20 05:42:47 · 15 answers · asked by xxx 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If you are a Bible believing person then you should read what the scriptures say about children. They are a gift from God. If not, I guess you should take those reasons into consideration. And you are right, they are silly reasons!
Handicapped children are NOT burdens. They are special blessings!
2006-12-20 05:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by Psalm91 5 · 2⤊ 7⤋
You sound like the RIGHT type of person to have a child. If you are asking those questions then you are in a much better place to have kids than most people I know. Kids are too wonderful for words. Your own, that is! Their smile makes you happier than anything ever could, and their laugh will make you absolutely melt. There is no way to describe how they benefit your life, you just know they do. One fear you have is pretty valid - the one about having time - that is a struggle, but regardless of what you do for a hobby, your kids will be more interested. you will lament the less time you have, but it's not as bad as you think, because you love to be with your kids, too. I have an 8 month old, married 8 years before we decided to have kids. My husband played guitar for HOURS pre-baby. Both were into our own thing and hobbies. Now the baby is the absolute light of our lives. He plays less, but it's just a balance. There are issues, but they really don't matter in light of how much you love your kid. So I can't give you any reasons per se, but I wanted to tell you that if you are conscience enough to ask questions like that, you will make a better parent than most.
2006-12-20 05:51:25 · answer #2 · answered by In Luv w/ 2 B, 1 G + 1 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I have a house full of children, six to be exact. The joys of having a raising a child are unmeasureable! First, it changes the whole way you percieve life. Now, I have someone who needs me and watches every move I make. I am their whole world. I can show them and teach them. I get to watch every little discovery along the way, which is pure joy. Then, I am the one they turn to when they need something. My kiss can fix anything, in their eyes. The responsiblities are tremendous, but the joys outweigh any kind of doubt or pain or worry. My children will be my legacy in life. What I teach them they will carry forever, pass on to their own children, and hopefully make the world a better place to live in. As far as handicapped children, one of mine is. she wears a prosthetic leg. First, she is not handicapped, she is handicapable! Second, a child with special needs somehow teaches you more than you ever knew you could learn. Those children, are the happiest children you will find. They don't care about why they are different, and sometimes they don't even notice. But they are happy and it spreads to others. I understand that having a child with special needs is difficult, but it is a joy as well. I would not trade any of my children for an easier day or a less hectic one. I hope this tells you how I feel. Children are the world's future, and as parents, we get to shape that future. It is an awsome thing.
2006-12-20 05:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by wildcat942002 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Take ten parents from anywhere around the world and sit them down. Ask them first if they wanted to have children before they had them. You are bound to get a variety of answers ranging from no to yes and everything in between. Then ask them what they would be willing to give up to keep their children or better yet, if they could do it all over again would they still have their children. My bet is that your answers would be all the same. They would give up everything to keep their children and they wouldn't change a thing.
No one can make you understand why having children is so wonderful and rewarding, much the same way that no one can explain to you how much your life will change when you have them, but we are all glad that we did!
2006-12-20 06:02:05 · answer #4 · answered by Jacy 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Your fears should NEVER outway the possibilities. I sure hope that you would never fear that your child is born with a disability. I was born with a disability and Never once have i felt a burden on my parents. They love me for who i am not my physical faults. If you truely want to be happy in this life dont focus on the BAD things that could happen with having children. Focus on the Happiness and Joy they bring into your life. Learn to realize the posibility that anything could happen in life. We are not guaranteed in life to be healthy and happy. Happiness comes from how we deal with our situations God has chosen for us to go through. Remember, its how we deal with life & its ups and downs, and not how successful we can get. My theory on happiness IS having a family. I am single right now 25 and miserable because i look at my friends and they all have families and wives or girlfriends. THE ONLY THING IN LIFE I WANT RIGHT NOW IS A FAMILY OF MY OWN.
2006-12-20 05:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by big pappy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol those are silly reasons! I am a mom and I wanted a kid and I didnt know why until she got here. She has made me so happy, she fills any possible void, if I have a bad day I come home to my baby and she makes me forget. ]
Heres some more reasons:
You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
You respect your parents and love them in a new way.
You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.
You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.
Every day is a surprise.
Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
You become a morning person.
Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.
You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth
You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night
You discover an inner strength you never thought you
You realize that you can love a complete stranger
2006-12-20 05:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Children aren't for everyone, that is for sure. It really gets down to you, and whether you think the sacrifices you will make in order to have children will be fulfilled by what children bring to your life. I won't say these are so much "reasons", as what I have "received" (and expect to continue receiving) from being a parent. Here they are;
1. Guaranteed, unconditional, LOVE.
2. Comedy/Amusement (and gut-busting too)
3. Pride. I have experienced pride in my career, but I have to say that the pride I get from things my kids do well is full-out BURSTING.
4. Makes me a better person. I want to be a good parent, which, like it or not, trickles down into everything I do as a person.
5. Friends. Maybe I'm lucky, but in my neighborhood, we parents party together just as hard as I did when I didn't have kids. Maybe not as often, but perhaps that's for the best. :)
6. A sense of what's important in life: Yeah, my job is important, but when I come home and see those little blue eyes that look just like mine. All those worries & cares melt away, and I know what is TRULY important.
I'm sure there is much more, but I'm trying to keep it short. I guess the older I got, the less I thought I "needed' children, but I sure am glad I made the decision to dive in. Don't get me wrong, it gets crazy at times....but what I receive makes up for it.
2006-12-20 06:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by julesl68 5 · 4⤊ 3⤋
I dont feel that I had to have kids, my first 2 just happened and I wouldnt change it for the world. Its wonderful seeing a child learn new thing each day, they give you unconditional love. Having children just makes my life so much happier even though I barely have any time to myself. but my kids make my life full and I enjoy it.
2006-12-20 05:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by kristinad21 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Im a 27 year old female. I have been in the most horrible relationships, and sometimes when you have one harsh blow after another it makes you feel unloved. BUT! when I come home and look at my babies fast asleep, it lets me know that I have two someones in this world that does love me unconditionally inspite of my many flaws. It makes my heart melt when my two yr old walk up to me, pucker his little lips, and plant a wet kiss on my lips. (Or)When my six month old, looks at me and say ma ma! Kids can be very hard to deal with but they could never be a burden! When they're fast asleep at night, I sit by their beds and look in their handsome little faces. Somehow it makes my worst days disappear! i know there is anxiety about what if this happens or what if my child turns out to be handicapped. YOu have to have faith that things will be okay! I had those same what if's. One of my what if's came true. My two year old came three months early! We went through hell helping him fight for his life. Not only is he well, but he has no retardations or signs of prematurity! I thank God for my kids daily, eventhough they can be little stinkers sometimes!
2006-12-20 09:02:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I dont have any children as well but to tell you a kids unconditional love is undescribable....and having a little you around is always a great factor..That little person is yours and nobody elses...As far as making mistakes with your children thats going to happen regardless we all fail at some point..But you cant be scared to have a kid..Its gods gift to us as human beings just be sure you have a child at the right time and with the right person...
2006-12-20 05:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by Kell bell 1 · 5⤊ 1⤋
My wife and I BOTH love children. She had a real desire to have children and be a parent. I felt that children would complete our relationship and I truly was glas to have had them. Our last child is still at home. She is age 16 and we are 50s. I belikeve that GOD told Adam and Eve to go out and multiply and this has continued throughout time. We all need to find our way thru life and children are a wonderful addition to one's life. When we have grown old they will hopefully be having children and grandchildren so that we know our linage continues. I am hopeful that GOD will be pleased with the teaching and learning that has taken place in our household. Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior. HE came so that we would have an opportunity to be in heaven with HIM. I am hopeful that we are all there together in that time. Have a great Christmas. Whatever you decide, do it for the right reason. Not for yourself but for GOD,you, your wife, and the children!
Eds
2006-12-20 13:22:16 · answer #11 · answered by Eds 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋