About 2 months ago my boyfriend of 4 and a half years told me that he cheated on me with 3 different girls from his job. I found just the other day him asking for advise on this page about what he should do which was posted 2 months ago. I really love him but I really do not know how to open up and trust him again to allow those feelings of hurt back inside. We have been through so many things together from me moving away from my home town to be around him when his son left out to virgina and me sticking around and talking to him each night when he was in a shelter out there. I am really hurt by all of this a part of me wants to say go your own way and another part of me wants to say that we can work things out knowing the time frame we have been together. When I saw what he wrote "I have a girlfriend but I have meet someone else who I really like" also went one to say sexually attracted to. What do you do in these type of situations when true real feelings are involved?
2006-12-20 05:13:10 · 11 answers · asked by Tashi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oh, that really hurt! you have love & trust him for 4 & half years... & still it seems not enough for him! how could he do that to you?
well, i know your feelings... it happened to me before w/ my ex-bf... thank God he's now just my ex.
you have to talk to him seriously as in only you & him, no interruptions by any other things. Ask him, what he really feels for you? is there anything you did that made him change his mind or heart? Be brave, ask him anything you want to know!... but dont argue w/ him... just ask him nicely even it really kills you, you dont know how it will curse him slowly when you break-up w/ him without saying bad words against him. But true, whatever his answer you should give time to both of you to think it over... is it worth to continue the relationship or not? will it give more hurt or can work-out? That's definitely hard to deal, yet you have to be aware that is the process of that, whether you like it or not!
If the things will lead to break-up... at least you free yourself from another heartache in the future, at first, it will surely be devastating. However although you will have a long & very painful grief after that, there will come a time that you will learn to accept that, learn to forget him & meet a new guy who is more deserving to your love. You deserve a true & good love from someone who is really good! Goodluck to you!!!
By the way, my ex-bf... after 2 years of no communication w/ him, his sister even told me he regret what happened to our relationship, his relationship w/ the girl not even lasted for 3mos., he's having different gf changing everytime... He even tried, called me & want me back in his life, i said to him "i already forgive you but cannot bring back the past, i dont love you anymore"... what a pity on him! he just realized but too late... i have a new bf now who is more deserving than him. Now he's still no serious relationship w/ any good women. That's karma!
2006-12-20 05:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by ayu 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No one can tell you what to do, we can only tell you what to look for, and that's a better life and happiness.
Your heart pulls at you right? But your heart has also been broken, so your heart can not be counted on to make all the decisions for you. Your head is pretty steady and has not steered you wrong.
So do you think you would be better off and happier without him? If the answer is yes, then, well, there you go. If you think you will be just as happy staying with him and you absolutely believe beyond a shadow od a doubt that you two can work it out and make things right again, then well, there you go. But it seems to ME, that he has an eye for beauties other than yourself, and that's just the way he is and will always be. You have to remember though, that if you stay, you may be going through this again. Is that how you want to spend your life? Constantly worrying?
Think hard on it, but make your decision quickly.
2006-12-20 05:24:14 · answer #2 · answered by mafarrar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has some deep problems, one of which is a lack of morals. I expect he'll continue to give you pain. So it's up to you if you wish to be continually hurt by him. I would NOT remain in such a situation. But rather make a better life for myself. He has proved that he's not trustworthy. Thus there is no reason to trust him. Has he ever apologized for hurting you?....or thanked you for all you've done for him?
I believe you should go with the part of you that's saying, "go your own way"
2006-12-20 05:23:45 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
4 and a half years is nothing compared to the rest of your life. Seriously think about the pros and cons of staying vs. leaving. The biggest con with staying is the possibility and probability of getting HIV from him. The biggest pro for leaving him is that you will definitely meet someone with good values -- who will treat you with respect & truly care about you and your well being.
I will repeat, 4 1/2 years is NOTHING when being compared to the rest of your life. Imagine putting up with this 5, 10, 15 years from now. Do you really think you will? Personally, if it happened to me, I would cut my loss early and go find happiness.
2006-12-20 05:30:11 · answer #4 · answered by putty tatt 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want to be with someone you can't trust? Why would you want to be with someone who cheats on you, not just one time but three? I could maybe forgive one time, people are human and make mistakes but three seems just mean and inconsiderate. He should have been good enough to be honest with you. I think you deserve someone better. Believe me, I have been there and have now found a man who would never cheat on me. You are going to always question his faithfulness.
2006-12-20 05:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you really need a stranger to say "dump him"? C'mon, you don't sound happy and your xtion makes it sound like you really know the answer. So, here it is (as Dan Savage would say) DTMF (dump the m***** f*****). If you don't want to do that, then get really good at turning the other cheek, because it isn't going to stop.
2006-12-20 05:19:25 · answer #6 · answered by tajmina 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
DUMP HIM. honestly what are you even still doing with him? he does not deserve you in the least...and you must not mean that much to him if he has cheated on you with three different girls. you deserve better. if you are putting up with that your CRAZY
2006-12-20 05:20:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
get a vidio camra and 2 or 3 of his friends and tape yourself being banged by them then give him the tape.
2006-12-20 05:24:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
cheaters never change unless they want to. you deserve better. i know its tempting but this was no mistake. it happened with 3 girls that you know of. who knows how many more and how many times.
2006-12-20 05:24:07 · answer #9 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
GIVE HIM THE AX,WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM?DONT YOU HAVE ANY WOMEN PRIDE?
2006-12-20 05:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by dce1dg 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋