Age Difference? How much is too much??

Question

I am 17 years old and have been asked out by a guy who is 21. He is nice and respectful, but he is already in his 3rd year of college, where as I am starting college next fall.

Does the age difference seem too "creepy" for me to accept? I really like this guy, but maybe I should say no because we are 4 years apart? What is your opinion?

Answer 1

I don't think the age difference is a problem... 4 years is not that big of a difference, especially as you get older.

The problem comes in dating right now. Granted I do not know your maturity level, and dating means different things to different people. You are technically still a minor (until you are 18). Some may see a 17 year-old minor with a 21 year-old guy as inappropriate. And I don't know if you would become sexually active with this guy before you are 18, but there are definite laws about sex with a minor.

Personally, I have no problem with a 4 year age difference and really wouldn't think twice about it.... but if you are in the least bit uncomfortable with it, it's probably only going to lead to problems down the road. How does he feel about it? Have you talked with him about it?

Good luck.

Answer 2

I don't think it's illegal for you to date, it's illegal for you to have sex.
However, there's a difference between a 17 yr old dating a 21 yr old and a 20 yr old dating a 25 yr old? Even though they are both 4 year ranges. You're in high school, he's nearing the end of college. You guys may be close in age but you're at totally different stages of life. Maybe it'd be better to keep in contact as friends until you're on the same level.
The maturity level is probably the same between you too...it's just your lives are probably a lot different.

Answer 3

first off, I'm not sure about the legality here, but I think there may be some issue because you are under the age of consent. However, age is mostly just a number. As you know, men and women emotionally develop at different speeds. Women tend to mature faster, and therefore, sometimes become attracted to older men. As you get older, age gaps become less important. At your point in life tho, this four year age gap is huge because you are about to embark on a new life experience that he is almost finished with. All in all tho, its realy your choice. If you feel comfortable with him, and he is genuine , go for it. Not creepy at all in my opinion.

Answer 4

Are you going to the same college? And hell.. 17 and 21 isn't that bad, as long as he's respectful of you. Go on a date, and see if you have any common ground. Less then 5 years is usually okay.

Answer 5

four years isn't large when you're in your mid twenties and up. However, this four years' difference represents VERY different stages of life at this point. And honestly (not too far away from college myself) i can tell you that upper class-men only dated freshman and high school girls for one thing. It was NOT cool to be hanging around frosh or worse pre-frosh. There were clear exceptions to this rule, people who had grown up together, people who fell in love, etc. However, you will not be very compatible once college starts, as you will be looking towards the beginning and he looking towards the end. I wouldn't bother.

Answer 6

I once dated a guy who was 6 years older then me. I think that if you like this guy 4 years isn't that far apart, I think you should accept.

Answer 7

4 years is not a lot unless you are under 20 then its a big difference ---- its not creepy --- and if you like him and he likes you then its worthwhile waiting a few years

Answer 8

theres nothing wrong with that if he was 31 then i would think twice but he's a little older and u might grow apart but it could work out u never know go for it.

Answer 9

10 years should be the limit. Just don't pull a Woody Allen, or Tom Cruise.

Answer 10

forget about the age difference, 4 years are definitely not much....maturity is what matters ;)