did i over react too much?

Question

i know i did a little, but i still think a little outburst was warrented:

two days ago, my BF was poking and prodding and stabbing at me with his fingers in my ribs and side and chest and i kept telling him to stop and that it hurt but he kept doing it and doing it and doing it. then yesterday our dog was chewing on a rawhide and he took it from her and kept poking me with the slimey end, and rubbing it in my hair and putting in my face, but on top of that, he's a much bigger person that me, and he was holding me down and the dog was on top of me too, and i just kept yelling stop stop stop and he wouldnt and then i finally pulled away and just screamed "i'm tired of this sh*t, i'm tired of you hurting me and treating me like this." and his reply was "whats your problem" so i told him i was leaving.

i never left, i got upstairs and the dog wouldnt let me leave so i broke down in the bathroom hysterically.

but really, i had just cause to freak out, right?? maybe not that much..

he's easily 175lbs heavier than me, and 5 inches taller than me, so he can easily hold me down to the point i cant move.

we've been dating 3.5+ years. he knows i have problems with being held down, he knows i will make me freak out to the point where i will get so terrified i will just start sobbing, but he still did it anyways!!!

boys are boys and they can be jerks, i know that. it doesnt warrent breaking up over, but he doesnt think i should have reacted like that.

as for the dog, she's a herding dog and she's mine, she just lives there, but she grabbed my hand and wouldnt let go and just kept pulling me and pulling me. she's just a pup, so i didnt want to hurt her.

we're both 24.

Answer 1

Playful behavior is okay but enough is enough. When you have had it and someone keeps it up, it is okay to get mad when they don't listen to you. My husband acts that way too. I have blown up on him and now he knows, it's okay to play around, but when I am done you need to stop.

Answer 2

Well...while your reaction might have been a little over the top, it was out of frustration and out of anger. You had good reason to be upset because he ignored your current mood and he ignored you when you told him to stop. Getting poked constantly (especially with a soggy rawhide bone) can be extremely annoying. He might have felt it was innocent and playful, but if it really made you upset he should have been receptive to listening to your pleas to stop it. The key here is communication...most likely, he thinks he was being playful and silly with you...however, you found the non-stop poking annoying (rightfully so) and he should have stopped when you asked him to. I would suggest you talk to him after you have calmed down a little about it...emphasize the importance of listening and perhaps offer a small apology for your reaction but do not concede that he was being inconsiderate for not listening to you when you asked him to stop for the first, second and third time.
Good Luck!
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OK...well, after reading your updates...I just think he's an inconsiderate person by nature. He obviously doesn't respect you or take into account your feelings. I say walk away. Especially because you've been together 3.5 years...there is NO excuse for not being aware about how you would react to such actions. It's a matter of respect and treating your significant other with respect...he obviously doesn't get that.
Don't waste your time.

Answer 3

Yeah, even though you told him to stop he probably thought you where just joking around. You needed to let him know you are serious and this might have been the only way he would understand how you feel by blowing up at him. Storming off and leaving like that might not have been the best next time after you blow up just try to explain to him why you did and it may help him understand why you are mad at him and he will not do it again.

Answer 4

Any action which is not wanted and does not cease is a form of abuse. You had perfect right to get angry. I would flip out also. If he won't take no for something as little as that, who's to say he wont go to far in other ways which can hurt you.

You need to find a much more mature and respectful boyfriend.

Answer 5

You did have just cause. What he does is really annoying. He seems to to be one of those people who thinks he is funny and doesn't know when to stop. I had a b/f who would block my way out of a room. He would keep moving side to side and wouldn't let me out. He thought it was funny.I finally yelled at him that I couldn't stand him! But shoving the slimy end of the bone in your face and hair is gross. It seems like he enjoys picking on you and making you mad. That is not cool.

Answer 6

no i would have did the same thing it's annoying to not be in the mood to play and someone else doesn't get it especially a guy. thats nasty that he put the rawhide that had dog drool in ur hair and face u should have slapped the s h i t out of him ur bf is immature as hell

Answer 7

Look I don't blame you for anything you did except breaking down in the bathroom instead of leaving. You should've moved the dog or somethign I would not have stayed there another minute.

Answer 8

I don't think you over-reacted! My BF has that freakin problem...when I tell him to stop playing around he doesn't know when! He thinks I like to be toyed around with, but God forbid I play around with him when He's not in the mood and he'll have an attitude all day. You broke down because you were frustrated and that's where your emotion took you. Don't sweat it.

Answer 9

Well prolly over reacted alil bit.... I mean come maybe he was just doing this to play with you I know it is annoying and stuff but he is a man..... They don;t understand alot like we do.. He seen it as messing with you and you seen it as him hurting you....

I would just talk to him and ask him not to do that anymore because it hurts your side an all that... Then I would apologise for acting the way I did because there really was no call or acting up that bad over him being a man...

Answer 10

You had every right to freak out this is not a good sign of things to come he was abusing you and it will get worse you need to plan you exit strategy immediately it my take a few months or a year but the abuse will slowly escalate til it is unbearable

Answer 11

My BF picks on me but when I tell him to stop and I'm serious about it he stops. You have every right to get mad at him he was being a jerk. You should talk to him and tell him how you are feeling and if he can't deal with that then you will have to decide what happens next!