Discipline problem?

Question

Whenever I impose a rule upon children, I find myself unable to sound stern or angry. I'm struggling to be stern because they look too darn cute! How can I get angry at something that cute?! Does this mean that the children will not learn that what they are doing is bad? Is this a problem?

These are all great tips. I will have difficulty choosing a best answer.

Answer 1

No, children can still be taught right from wrong, without any yelling or angery words. If what they are doing is dangerous, then explain the danger of it, to them, then remove them from the situation. If they are showing other signs, like misbehaviour, then explain why what they are doing/saying is wrong, discuss how it makes them/you feel, and then tell them that there punishment is, that you will take a toy from them. Put the toy out of sight, so that they will be less likely to beg for it, and you will be less likely to give in. When my older children call names, hit, or hurt someone in any way, I use discipline rather than punishment. I have them write an essay on what they did, how it made everyone feel, what they are going to do to say sorry, and what they will/will not do next time. They are learing while they are "unable to play". My younger sons have to sit in a quiet spot, and repeat a phrase, numerous times, stating a better way that they could have handled the situation. (i.e. "I will play gently will my baby brother.") I double their age in minutes to determine the length of time they are to it out. So, my 3 y/o sits out for 6 min. So far, these disciplinary actions have worked very well. Although I dont yell, spank, or get angry, I seem to be able to get my children to realize right from wrong very well. I truly hope that this method proves to work well for a very very long time :) Good luck!

Marissa
mamaofthesweetest4

Answer 2

Absolutely!
When they have done something wrong, you must stop them, get down to eye level with them, explain what it is that they have done wrong and why it's unacceptable, and then explain their punishment.
What will happen if you continue not being stern with them or being very casual, is that they will decide for themselves that doing wrong will result in nothing more than a friendly chat. They may also develop a totally casual attitude toward misbehaving. Once they get past a certain age (about 3 or 4), you won't be able to control them at all! They will by that time learned that they don't have to respect you or any rules. After that, it's all downhill.
Get a handle on your position of authority now while you still have a chance to make a difference in their attitude.

Answer 3

Unfortunately it can be a problem. My husband laughs after each stern thing that he says, it kind of defeats the purpose. The kids then laugh with him and forget all about the point he was trying to make. It just takes practice, I know it is hard when they are so cute. Try to think about them doing the same thing as a teenager and then yelling back to you "you can't tell me what to do". You need to gain their respect as a disciplinarian/rule maker now before it is too late.

Answer 4

You do not need to sound mean or stern when you discipline. You can be all nice, happy and chipper... However you do need to follow through with any and all threats of punishments for bad behavior.... every single time, every single threat. Empty threats are usually the reason for continuous bad behavior.

In other words, it's not how you say your words but your actions in regards to those words that teach the children behave.

Answer 5

I have the same problem :) what i do is I pick my battles very carefully, and choose the rules I want to lay down and know that I can be consistent with....hope this helps :) consistency is the key, even if its with a smile on your face :)

Answer 6

start enforcing punishments that dont envolve you. like no yelling or talking stern just tell them your going to take away their favorite toy or something.

Answer 7

when punishing them remember why you are punishing them