Me and my ex girlfriend were dating for about 3 yrs 10 months and we had a great relationship. When things started to get serious i told her that i needed a break to find out if i really wanted to be in a relationship that was going to be that serious. in the meantime we had a few arguments but stayed cool thru it all. Until i met a girl named mel. This girl sayed she was my friend but in the end i found out she was using me for money so my Ex Gf said that me and this girl talking pushed her away. Now i have decided that i still love my ex girlfriend with all of my heart and i know now that she is the one i need and want to be with. But now she says she needs time to see if she wants to be in a relationship. She told me i dind't have to wait, but that she still loves and cares about me, but she cant promise that we will get back together in the future. What do i do. Do i wait for a while, not at all, do i call her, let her call me, try to show her the relationship we used to have? help
2006-12-20 04:15:13 · 37 answers · asked by Bman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok well first off you made a huge mistake by saying you wanted a break to see what else was out there. 2nd off if you really want her back get her back try anything you have to if you really want her back.
Well anyways goodluck.
2006-12-20 04:18:57 · answer #1 · answered by cavigirl17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do some nice, thoughtful things for her. Not buy her stuff, think and come up with ways to have fun without the pressure of the relationship issues remind her why she liked you in the first place. You have shaken her trust in you, you were the one that wanted a break and now she is afraid to trust you again. The grass is always greener and I'm sure she got hurt. If it happened once it can happen again she is thinking, I'm sure.
Rebuild the relationship, have fun and do things together that bring you back again, discussing this over and over is only going to cement the feelings that have developed since this began. Start fresh and enjoy each like its new. Replace the tension with laughter and fun and she will forget why she was doubting you.
Be sure on your part so she doesn't get hurt again.
2006-12-20 04:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by kpd2020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you both love each other still then time will heal the wounds you both have and you will get back together. call her, not every day but do call. don't talk about getting back together but do be a friend. be supportive, offer to take her out every once in a while and if she lets you take her out don't try to hold her hand. just be affectionate w/out physical contact. after a while, a few months or so, ask her if she is ready to talk. make sure you send her flowers, but not red roses, they are so over done. send her something special, once a month, to let her know you are still in love with her. send her e cards or write her poetry. women don't care if poetry is good, its the thought that counts and the time you put into it. just stay strong and you'll both be ok. no matter what you might end up with atleast a friendship with her possibly a loving relationship. best of luck to you!
2006-12-20 04:20:40 · answer #3 · answered by cupid6980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying that "We always want what we can't have". You had her and didn't want her until you didn't have her. She has behaved the same way. To me is sounds like there may be dependency issues. I would give her a little space so that she can miss you. Send her a Christmas card, of course, but Not a gift. Let her know that you are still around but Not only at her leasure. You should seek advise of a psychologist to give you insight in case she has moved on and if she stays. I made the mistake of hanging in there with a guy once and I wish that I would have moved on. The time that I spent helping him with his business, I could have been working to develop my own. Which I now have.
2006-12-20 04:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you should have been ready for what could happen from taking a break from her.... and if you jumped into a new relationship with another girl then your heart was never truely with your ex.... You have hurt her and she has lost some trust in you if she still says she loves you then I would give her some time and space to figure out what she wants......
Just remember that you broke her heart and that will take some time to mend and for her to trust you again..... everything will work out if you guys have the space and then when the time is right talk to one another and see if the feelings are still mutual..... Good Luck and I hope all works out the way you want it to
2006-12-20 04:23:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were in a relationship for a long time...(3yrs 10 months) with this girl that you cared for but decided that you needed to take time to see if she was the one. There is nothing wrong with that. It is your option. You did however find out after being "used" that you love your ex and want her back. Now she needs time. You have to give her that time. She deserves the same respect that she gave you. Unfortunately, she may decide that she doesn't want to be with you but she may see that you are what she needs. In any event, I feel that you should give her the space that she wants and needs. Good luck!
2006-12-20 04:19:55 · answer #6 · answered by Ginger P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lemme see if I have this right...
You met girl A, had a GREAT relationship, threw it away...
Met girl G (as in Gold digger)...
You decided you wanted girl A again, but now she needs time.
Seriously, I don't blame her. She was prolly freaking out, wondering why you would dump her when things were going so well. She may be questioning if you'll leave her again as soon as things start getting good again!
Give her some time to sort out her thoughts. Remember you're the one that caused these crazy feelings of hers...
2006-12-20 04:20:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look, If I was you give her her space but leave her a message every once in a while letting her know you still love her and want to spend your life with her when she is ready.
I think what happened was that when she saw you with that girl she was hurt and felt betrayed and saw you as someone that if she got serious with may not stick with her in the end.So, because of this she is very afraid of the idea of commitment with you.Right now she is testing you to see if you will hang in there and still think of her and still want her even when you don't get to see her and be with her.
All you can do is prove yourself with your loyalty and wait for her to decide.I know its not easy but lets face it,You know tomorrow if you wanted to you could replace her with another girl but is it about just having someone or is it about having the one you love and desire.Sometimes some of the best things in life are the hardest to obtain.
2006-12-20 04:24:08 · answer #8 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave her be. you guys had a great relationship and then you decided you werent ready for it and broke her heart and now that someone else has trashed yours you want to go running back to your ex. she probably feels like she was used. now she has to decide if this is how the relationship will always be; you have a problem you push her aside and find another woman... thats a scarey thought to have in the back of your mind all the time. ya know?
let her decide what she wants or else she will just give up and find someone else who KNOWS they want to be with her
2006-12-20 04:20:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you suck, you let your gilf down after 3 yr 10 month commitment, what do you expect? her to forgive you righ there on the spot?
waiting is the end, been there and done that. you want her, get in her life, otherwise the waiting will become her meeting new guy. so call her and ask her out for dinner, pick her up.
2006-12-20 04:30:57 · answer #10 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you messed up big time thats all i can say really i dont know why you suggested to "fish around" but thats a big NO NO. All ic an tell you is that if you really want her and want her back all you can do is wait but make sure you call her everyday to check up on her (make it casual) just say hey how are whats going on what did u do today well just calling to make sure your okay and make sure she doesnt need anything and let her know you miss her and your waiting for her and your not going anywehere this time. call her everyday and let her know this
2006-12-20 04:20:41 · answer #11 · answered by C I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋