Everytime i see jokes on here, they're just not funny!! i want to see some FUNNY jokes!!
2006-12-20 03:59:31 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Two ropes go into a restaurant. The hostess tells them, "I'm sorry but we don't serve ropes". The two ropes leave and while out on the sidewalk, one rope says to the other one, "That's not nice and he gets really mad and ties himself into a knot with his little frayed ends sticking out. He goes back into the restaurant and the hostess says, "Aren't you that rope that was just in here?" and the rope says .......... No, I'm afraid not!! (A frayed knot) get it???
2006-12-20 04:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 5⤋
A Cajun walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute.
"Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval, so the Cajun stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers and placed his Johnson and related parts in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A blonde woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!"
2006-12-20 04:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
BOY : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
GIRL : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
2006-12-21 22:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by cool_crib 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A German family of tomatoes are walking along the road, a Mama tomato, a Papa tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato stops to talk to a hamburger while the Mama and Papa continue on their way. The baby tomato and the hamburger get into an argument and the hamburger starts pummeling the baby tomato. The Papa tomato turns around and yells, "Dammit Heinz, Catchup!"
2006-12-20 04:04:20 · answer #4 · answered by kjbopp 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Just in case u didn't see my post, her's one:
Observed at a bus stop:
A young lady was attempting to get on the bus but was unable to reach the first step due to her very tight skirt. Thinking that if she pulled down her zipper just a little she would be able to loosen it just enough to be able to reach it. When that didn't work she pulled the zipper down just a little more, that still didn't work, so she tried again without success. Finally, a Texan who was standing right behind her, with a smile as big as he was, enthusiastically picks her up and places her on the bus. Very agitated, the young woman turned around and shouted at him: "How dare you touch my body, I don't even know you!" To which the man replied: "That's what I thought too, Ma'am, but after you tried pulling down my zipper 3 times, I thought we might just be friends!"
2006-12-20 04:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
three blondes are walking through the forest when they come upon a set of tracks.
Blonde #1: These are deer tracks
Blonde #2: No, these are bear tracks
Blonde #3: You're both wrong, these are rabbit tracks.
The next day's news headline: 3 blondes killed by train in woods
2006-12-20 04:02:59 · answer #6 · answered by B-Late 2 · 3⤊ 5⤋
I got a funny joke
my boyfriend, best friend and i all went to a simple plan concert. my boyfriend told me that i should go crowd surfing. i was afraid because ealier i lost my shoes in the mosh pit and i didn't want anyone to smell my feet. he ended up talking me into it, and as my boyfriend and his best friend were picking me up, they both tugged at my pants, totally exposing my care bear undiess! everyone around saw and started laughing i was about to kill my boyfriend and his best friend! it was a total setup! i just hope Pretty Ricky didn't see it because it was all in the newspaper it stay up in there for about a week i hope you like my joke.
2006-12-20 04:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by lil boosie 4 · 1⤊ 6⤋
Here are some sites:
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
2006-12-20 04:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by GAD&OCD_Girl 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I do but its in spanish and I don't know if you want to hear it
2006-12-20 04:19:50 · answer #9 · answered by NONAME 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
So tell some.
2006-12-20 06:14:00 · answer #10 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋