I dont know if AA is right for me- what is it like?

Question

okay so my husband and i have decided i should go to some meeting of some sort--- but AA seems faith based.... and were not really into that... are there any other options?

Answer 1

It really depends on the meetings you attend and your personality. I have a sister who has been in AA for 18 years and she is brainwashed. She doesn't have a thought of her own, she uses loaded language and generally is unpleasant to be around. There are some aspects of AA that are not unlike a cult (the only difference being that there is no living leader).

I have been sober for 6 years. I went to an outpatient program in my neighborhood. I made massive life changes-- who I hang out with, where I go. I cannot ever have a drink again. Not one. One means a three day bender for me. I know that and it's been actually surprisingly easy because my quality of life changed so dramatically for the better that I have no desire to go "there" again.

I deliberately did not go to AA because of the experiences I've had with my sister and her "friends". I've been validated lately by coming across alot of articles written by people who want to speak out against AA. I've provided some links below.

I think that there are people who are genetically alcoholics and then people who are emotionally alcoholics. Those who are emotional alcoholics, I think, use AA as just another social crutch-- the same way they used alcohol.

I may make alot of enemies here by writing this, but there are MANY OTHER WAYS to become sober, physically and emotionally. Find your own path. If the group-think mentality of AA works for you -- great! But if you feel itchy in the company of AA'ers, there is a reason-- look elsewhere. Best of luck to you and your family.

I'd like to add that the guy who answered right before me with the list of alternative support groups whould get best answer. He knows what he is talking about!!

Answer 2

I can't tell you whether AA is right for you, but I've been a member of AA, and sober, for over 8 years now, so I know it worked for me. When it became obvious that I needed to quit drinking, I too was very reluctant to do the AA thing because I'd heard it was a cult and that you had to believe in God and I was not into that AT ALL. I looked into several other methods (rational recovery, secular sobriety, women for recovery) and found that while they had some good ideas, they spent a lot of time bashing AA, saying it didn't work. I didn't think bashing AA was going to help me stop drinking, and besides I was desperate, so I finally went to an AA meeting. It was not full of holy rollers (or bums)--just sober people who seemed a hell of a lot happier than I was at that point. I kept going and believe it or not, I have not had a drink since that first meeting. The group really did show me how to get sober and stay that way. I cannot tell you how much better my life is today. And I am still not religious, although I have come to believe that there is something bigger than me "out there".

I am often amazed at the terrible things I hear about AA. The things I hear just don't match my own experience at all.

For example, some say it's a cult. Cults require you to follow a common theology--and AA doesn't. You can believe any damn thing you want, although it does help a lot if you don't think YOU personally ARE God.

And some people say AA doesn't work. Well, I'm here to tell you it worked for me, and I drank for over 25 years. I also know literally thousands of people in my town for whom it worked. Of course, AA does ask that you take some actions (i.e. the 12 steps)--and it doesn't work too well if you don't. But saying it doesn't work is kind of like saying that diet and exercise don't work for weight loss. Of course they work, but you have to actually DO the diet and exercise.

Anyway, I think AA is pretty wonderful and I hope you'll give it a try. You don't have much to lose except the hangovers and misery.

Answer 3

All you can do is try it. At AA they encourage people to try 90/90 - go to one meeting a day for 90 days. Then you can see what it's about and make a decision.

Contrary to what some are saying here, AA does not "demand" anything from people. AA doesn't even tell people they "can't" drink (basically because that would be unrealistic - of COURSE I can drink, I can do whatever the hell I want). As they say, the only requirement for membership is to have a desire to stop drinking. That's IT.

Sure, it's got spiritual and religious aspects. Big deal. I am not particularly religious, hell if I know whether there is a God or not. But being in AA has helped me - I pray to whatever may be out there, and no one tells me what I should believe. I believe, however, that the only reason that AA has helped me is because I WANTED to stop drinking.

Some people complain because at many meetings they say the "Our Father" at the end. So what? I say it sometimes, but there was a period early on that I didn't say it, and my head didn't explode, nor did they kick me out. Will I get all offended because people are praying a "Christian" prayer? That would be silly, and hypocritical of me.

In my drinking days, I used to go to niteclubs where all kinds of obscene music was blaring from the sound system. I used to have anonymous gay sex, crazy group sex, take drugs, drive drunk, sleep with married men and women, break the law in some rather interesting ways, take advantage of people, lie, cheat, steal, hurt everyone around me - and my "friends" did all the same things - none of THAT offended me, why should someone talking about "God" bother me?

I used to drink and never pray. Now I DON'T drink and DO pray every day. My life has gotten MUCH better. Maybe that's just a coincidence, but I doubt it.

Love Jack

Answer 4

It is most certainly is faith-based, although they will deny it. That was my first objection to the program, but I later found many others, not the least of which is it's 5% success rate.

LifeRing Secular Recovery
http://www.unhooked.com/


Women For Sobriety
http://www.womenforsobriety.org/


Smart Recovery
http://www.smartrecovery.org/


Rational Recovery
http://www.rational.org/


S.O.S. (Save OurSelves)
http://www.sossobriety.org/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/sossaveourselves/


16 Steps of Discovery and Empowerment
http://members.tripod.com/~NadineGaye/16steps.htm

Moderation Management
http://www.moderation.org/


Unfortunately, there are more AA meetings than all of these put together. None of these demand life-long attendance like AA does. Check to see if any, particularly SOS and SMART, have meetings in your area.

I tried AA many times over a 20-year period without success (a few months here and there), and there were no alternatives where I lived. I managed to remain sober using online support; I now have over 5 years and work in the field.

The idea that one NEEDS a support group in order to quit is an idea that comes from AA. A harvard study showed that on of the best factors towards success in quitting is a supportive spouse.

Best to the two of you.

Answer 5

Avoid at all costs. If you feel like you need a support group, look elsewhere. Faith, specifically a Christian slant, is a large part of their remedy.

Moreover, there's really no indication that AA works for more than 5% of people per Penn and Teller's show on Showtime.

Answer 6

yes, there is a faith to AA, but the higher power they talk about is whatever you want to find your faith in/whatever gives u faith in your recovery EG; your best friend, a deceased relative, your children etc.

I have tried CA and NA and did find it confusing, but the main thing that helped was that there are so many people in the same situation as you, and you are all on the same level and understand each other - you know you're not alone.

Give it a try, i know that after every meeting (even if i didn't understand some things) i felt encouraged and enlightened.

Good Luck, you WILL find your pot of gold :-) :-) :-)

Answer 7

I'm a nurse. There are many other options out there for you if you don't want a faith based one. I'm also a Christian and they are truly the best ones. I would call the local one and ask for any other phone numbers they might have. Good luck to you and your family. You are already on your way to recovery, you have already taken the first step. Take care.

Answer 8

"higher power" is as faith based as it gets. Its a term, nothing more. Just means greater than you. There are those who equate that to a specific deity, but you dont have to. Go to diff mettings in diff areas and find a group of folks who you like. Its about the group much more than the terms... enjoy!

Answer 9

12-step meetings are based on FELLOWSHIP--not religion. Your "higher power" can be whatever you choose. Some look to the fellowship itself as their higher power--or their sponsor. You will NEVER be subjected to religious sermons or dogma. The only link to the church is that many provide space for the meetings. That's it.

All they are are rooms full of people with a desire not to drink, smoke, pop, sniff, shoot, whatever who help themselves by helping each other ``one day at a time.''

Answer 10

I dunno...I'm usually too drunk to know what's going on.