My girlfriend was always talking about wanting babies and she was on birth control. Well I found pills in the toliet that didn't always go down and now she is pregnant. Do you think she lied to me about taking the birth control or am I just paranoid? I know if I ask her she wouldn't tell me she stopped taking birth control and planned on getting pregnant?
Is this common with women and how do I handle this
2006-12-20 03:37:12 · 27 answers · asked by quiet man 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I have every intention of being part of the baby's life that is not in question. I also had not had sex with her after I noticed the pills, but before she new she was pregnant
2006-12-20 03:49:13 · update #1
Well, if she wants babies and you kept saying no, she may have stopped the pill. If you really didn't want children, and knew she did, you should have took on the birth control responsibility and slipped on a raincoat. Since you didn't, and you relied on her, you will just have to be happy and stop wondering how it came about.
2006-12-20 03:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by lilmama 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Stopping taking the pill without informing their partner is not common, however it still does not mean that it does not happen. If in fact those were birth control pills in the toilet, then she stopped taking them without informing you of the change. As with birth control pills (like all other medication) you must take all of the dosage for it to be effective. However, there is the possibility that she had changed brands and those were left over from her previous supply. So do not fly off the handle and throw around accusations as that will not solve the situation that is ahead of you both.
How to handle this? Well, you like all others that face the world of having a new child in the same manner. There is some trepidation and excitement. Regardless of whether or not your girlfriend lied to you is not the fault of the child that you will have. If you feel strongly that she lied and you can not handle that, then by all means leave the relationship both for your sake and the child. Since that would be a huge wedge between you and your girlfriend. However, if that is something that you can handle then continue on with the relationship and enjoy this child that you are about to have. At this point it is regardless of whether she lied to you or not, it is whether you believe she lied to you or not and can you handle that. Her getting pregnant is now a reality and something you can not second guess and this child will be yours for the rest of your life. Just make sure you are there for the child in any manner possible.
2006-12-20 12:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Before you jump to conclusions, the pills you found in the toilet could be the extra "sugar pills" in the pack. They are inert pills that they give you when you are on your period...just so you keep in the habit of taking them every day. OR...they may not be birth control pills at all.
It is NOT unheard of to get pregnant while on the pill. If you were that concerned...you should have used a condom as well! You are just as to blame for this as she is. If you are not ready to be a father...perhaps you shouldn't have been messing around.
Now that you are bringing a child into the world...you have to be a MAN and provide for it whether you wanted it or not. YOU are the one who got her pregnant!
2006-12-20 11:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by Dixie Dingo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not unheard of for a chick to pull this crap. Birth control, when used correctly, is 99.9% effective. This means that she could get pregnant 1 out of every 1000 times you have sex. So it's possible, but not likely if she has taken them correctly.
However, this type of accuracy usually requires strict adherence to a set dosing schedule - i.e. taking it at the same time every day. Given that people are human, the effectiveness drops significantly. So, it isn't nearly as unlikely she got pregnant accidentally.
So what I'm saying is, you could be right, you could be wrong. It's hard to judge not knowing your girlfriend. It's time to sit down and have a serious talk with your girlfriend about your future together.
2006-12-20 11:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you found her pills in the toilet than yeah, it sounds like she was lying to you and it was pretty shitty of her to do so. Having a child needs to be a mutual decision, I wanted a kid since I was like 16 but I didn't force what I wanted on anybody else, it's not fair to them.
This isn't common for all women but it does happen, I'm sorry that it happened to you. You should decide if this is somebody that you want to be with and go from there. You can still be part of the babies life without being with your girlfriend. Good Luck.
2006-12-20 11:42:21 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well to be honet...girls do, do things like that. If the pills are in the toilet then she threw them away for a reason...I doubt it's because she found out she was pregnant, there's just no sense in that. Most likely she stopped taking them. She most really love you to want kids by you, because that's the only time girls do stupid things like that. But sense she is already pregnant there's no reason to worry about whether she did or didn't, you need to be working on a plan, whether or not you're keeping the child or not. Then hopefully in the future you'll know that you might need some trojans.
Hope this helps!
2006-12-20 11:43:14 · answer #6 · answered by BondGirl 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She lies to you Hun. There should have been no pills in the toilet! She is suppose to take every single pill in that pack! UNLESS she misses a few days then she could throw them out BUT since she was talking about a baby she has lied to you.
I'm sorry this happened. I would confront her and let her know how you feel.
No this isn't common with all women but there are a few that does this.
Best of luck to you!
2006-12-20 11:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by angelmwilson 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well part of it is ur fault too, if u seen the pills in the toilet then u should have taken the second step and used a condom... but
shes got some nerve, she had no right to do that to u... but whats done is done... so if u still want to be with her then have a talk with her about whats shes done and try to gain that trust back,
now u have a baby on the way.
Congrats
2006-12-20 11:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by laydenirvine 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's not common at all. My suggestion is to decide if you want to live your life with someone you obviously don't trust. As far as the baby goes, it is not his/her fault so don't disown the baby. I would however suggest a paternity test. It is quite obvious that you think she is a liar. And perhaps she is lying more than you think. However, that being said, it is possible to end up pregnant and on the pill.
2006-12-20 11:45:49 · answer #9 · answered by Amy A 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you saw pills in the toilet, then she probably did try to flush them. She must really want a baby though. I suggest you talk to her, tell her you know there was pills in the toilet, and talk out your problems. TRy to remember, no matter what, that baby is in your life now. Don't make things worse, but be sure to let her know, that you know about the abandon pills. Try to get the air clear. This can be important to your relationship. good luck, and try to work everything out.
2006-12-20 11:43:06 · answer #10 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋