My fiancee and me will get married next year. She's Christian, I'm Atheist.
Both of us don't mind whether or not the wedding will take place in a church. But it would make her mother happy.
So, I was wondering, isn't it some form of blasphemy if I would get married in a church?
2006-12-20 03:37:07 · 41 answers · asked by Thinx 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Well said Paladin, thanks! :)
2006-12-20 03:42:48 · update #1
That really depends upon the denomination. You'd be perfectly welcome in any Unitarian Universalist congregation, but there might be objections if you plan to have the ceremony in, say, a Southern Baptist or Catholic church. Speak to the celebrant. Explain to her what you and your fiancee have in mind. She'll tell you if something you'd like to have in the ceremony will be unacceptable.
Ray J: It's not about offending a god. Contrary to what rabid atheist-haters like jinenglish might think, we nontheists do care about the feelings and traditions of our neighbors of faith, especially when the ceremony will take place on their turf.
Best wishes to you both for a joyful and memorable wedding day and a lifetime of happiness.
2006-12-20 03:39:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 1⤋
When I got married in a church (CofE) I was still a believer, although I didn't attend church, but my husband was atheist (we've swapped positions now!) We were never asked about our beliefs by the vicar. So it's down to you whether you would be okay with making vows to God etc. And don't forget that you have to hear the banns being read in a church service for 3 weeks in the church you are marrying in and also in your church if you live in a different parish, and her church if she lives in a different parish again. You will also have a rehearsal in the church shortly before the big day, so you'll be spending quite a bit of time praying, singing hymns, etc. Good luck and I hope you have a fantastic future together, whatever you decide to do.
2016-05-23 00:08:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm always impressed by the sheer number of responses you manage to incite I mean receive. And occaisionally one or two of them are actually related to your question. Someday you'll have to let me in on how you do it.
You and your fiance obviously agree that the ceremony performed and the people involved matter infinitely more than the venue. And you have apparently already grasped the most important lesson husbands must learn - that there's no such thing as putting too much effort into keeping your mother-in-law happy.
"Compromise" means all sides give up something because nobody's willing to give everything. It serves no purpose in your case.
As for your question, it depends on the denomination. For example, only two Mormons may enter a temple to be married. (OK, only Mormons may enter - the part about 'two' is optional.) And Catholics will allow you to enter their church, but you better not partake of the body and blood of Christ (which is what everyone does once inside the church, so it's kinda obvious if you try to pass).
You may want to check the specific doctrine of your future in-laws' faith, to see if letting an infidel into God's house will cause their version of God to get all wrathful and start smiting people or turning them into pillars of salt. This could save you some awkwardness later on.
Or, if you wanted to try a more scientific approach, you could just go into the church and see what happens. Let me know if anyone gets smote, okay?
Also, congrats, and best wishes.
2006-12-20 19:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by abram.kelly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why should an atheist bother about blasphemy?
if you can live with it, and it keeps your g/f family happy go for it, what have you got to lose? Except maybe having to chat it over with the church priest, and having to listen to all that "dearly beloved, we are gathered here today" etc etc.
It depends on how strongly you feel! How about when you have children, would it make her mother 'happy' to have the children christened , would you want the children raised as Christians???
I am atheist, I have no wish to tell you what you should do, you make up your own mind, but if I was in your position I would not go into any church.
I have gone to funerals as a sign of respect to the family at the grave side or whatever, on my own but no praying or pretending to pray, that would make me a hypocrite, wouldnt it?
2006-12-20 03:57:29 · answer #4 · answered by budding author 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many ministers will not marry people who are, according to the scriptures, unequally yoked. This means that the couple must both be believers for the church to allow them to be married in the church. If she doesn't care if the wedding occurs in a church and she is willing to marry an atheist, I would say that her Christianity is not very important to her, so you should get married somewhere else rather than putting on a show of sanctity.
2006-12-20 03:44:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Very nice of you do do this for your wife!
Some churches are crazy enough to make trouble, some are not so crazy. Some years ago, there was a Catholic man marrying a Jewish woman, neither church would allow the wedding, so they got married at a museum. If a church pulled something like that to me, I would never go back.
Don't worry about it. If anybody makes trouble, tell them to go read Matthew chapters 22 and 7.
2006-12-20 03:43:22 · answer #6 · answered by sudonym x 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is OK.
I do not think she is Christian if she only wants to do get married in a church because of mother. She was probably baptized as a baby and she does not have personal relationship with God.
Many people get married at church even when they do not follow Christ. It is not blasphemy. I think it is a nice thing to make her mother happy if it is not a big deal to you.
2006-12-20 03:42:50 · answer #7 · answered by Ulrika 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough one...
Are you going to have any sort of religious references in your vows or ceremony? Would you truly be comfortable making vows before a deity that you do not believe exists?
Is there a pastor/minister/etc who will perform the ceremony in a church for you? I know that many churches require pre-marital counseling as a condition of performing the service - is that going to be an issue?
If you have a secular ceremony, what about having the wedding outside, if the church has a nice garden area?
After reading the responses, Paladin has a very good one - going with a UU church. And he also points out the very pertinent fact that you're asking out of deference to the PEOPLE, not out of deference to "God." It's surprising that people don't "get" that.
2006-12-20 03:41:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
A church is a building. It holds no power over you, so it probably won't bother you. If it is a worship service, then you may have a bit more of a problem, because the minister/priest will probably invoke God's blessing on your wedding. If you can live with the ambiguity of marrying a Christian, you may be able to swallow that.
By the way, I hope she's open minded. Otherwise you may be in for a life of evangelizing.
2006-12-20 03:42:59 · answer #9 · answered by NHBaritone 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends upon the church rules. Some may want a conversion as part of the exercise. Some are open to the marriage being a promise between the couple and the words spoken are not about joining the religion, but about promises made in front of the God of her understanding.
2006-12-20 03:41:22 · answer #10 · answered by jmmevolve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's for the church to decide, since it's their property. Some churches, such as Unitarians, probably won't mind. Hard core bible-thumping Baptists might object.
Keep in mind that in the eyes of the law it's the marriage license that makes you married, not the ceremony. Anything else is a function of cultural preferences.
2006-12-20 03:42:45 · answer #11 · answered by dukefenton 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋