I just realized that my husband is spoiled because he HAS to have things that he wants, nothing else. When he doesn't have what he wants, he complains about it until i get it for him, or let him buy it. I just realized, as I watch him scramble to buy a cell phone for his 9 year old daughter, how important it is for him to give and get exactly what is asked for. And I see its because he always got what he wanted growing up. I got a lot of toys and gifts growing up, but I remember my parents being creative and giving us things we didn't know existed. As a result, we had a lot of stuff, and learned how to do things, that our friends didn't. We rarely were asked what we wanted, but we were always happy with what we got because we got awesome things. Am I stuck up to think other kids should be humbled this way? Or am I expecting kids to suffer.
2006-12-20 02:24:40 · 10 answers · asked by Sweet Belly 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Our kids ask for a lot of expensive stuff every year. We have 4 children, so it is hard for us to get them all they want. We get them one big gift and then get them things that we know they would enjoy. They never remember what they asked for because they have fun with the things they do get. I think your right in the way you want to do it.
2006-12-20 02:40:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jodi C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you two should do is a compromise. What are parents always did is they asked us for a list of items we wanted. they then took the list and bought us some gifts off the list, and some gifts that where on the list. We definetely did not get all we wanted, but we soon learned to make reasonable request and the suprise presents where always nice. No kid has ever suffered from not getting everything they want. And what 9 year old needs a cell phone? You want to teach your child control, that is smart. Your husbands habit is a bad one because of the way he is raised, you want to keep your child from having this habit, good on you. Though I do understand how hard this is NOT to give things to his child when he got what he wanted.
I think that the main thing is to talk to your husband about this. maybe workout some agreement like the one above with him. Also, you may want to talk to your child (afterwards) to and tell her the new plan about Christmas gifts.
2006-12-20 11:02:41 · answer #2 · answered by Terra_chan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is the fun in giving the kids or anybody exactly what they asked for and nothing else? I suggest telling your husband that from now on the kids will only get two gifts they ask for and the rest will be a surprise. The same goes for him as well. I don't see anything wrong however, in the person asking for gifts in a certain category, just as long as the final remaining gifts are a surprise.
2006-12-20 14:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always nice to get just what you want on Christmas morning. Within reason. Is it really necessary for a nine-year-old to have a cellphone? Is that something that you're willing and able to give her responsibility with? That's your call as a parent to make.
I asked for lots of expensive things when I was a kid, and I usually didn't get them. With four kids, my single mother just couldn't afford to buy me Power Wheels or a television for my bedroom. But what she did get me were things I didn't even know I wanted, and those surprises were the best of all. Giving your kids the greatest gifts they never asked for shows that you have a natural sense of parenting. I don't think you're expecting kids to suffer, you're just following in the footsteps of what sound like smart parents.
2006-12-20 10:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by painforpassion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God, I cant remember anything I ever got that I asked for.
Christmas is about getting things for people because you want it to be special for them. You certainly dont have some sort of quota or check list to go by. Thats just rude and controlling.
I'd stop wrapping your husbands things, and stop wrapping the things he gets for the kids, and dont bother with christmas morning. I mean, whats the point. If all you want to get that day is all the things you asked for, how is that loving or christmas?
Just give them all money and let them have what they want. Because the way theyre doing it is wrong. Its got nothing to do with christmas.
Yoru husbands a brat.
2006-12-20 10:28:30 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a child we got to ask for one present. And we usually got that one gift everything else were surprises. How boring it must be on Christmas morning if you already know whats under the tree. What the point of wrapping the presents at all???
2006-12-20 11:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right on target! It is actually more eye-opening and enhancing to get children things other than what they asked for. You are right that your parents opened doors for you by doing this.
If I only got my children what they asked for, our house would have about 3,000 baby dolls, millions of glitter and glitz princess toys, and eons of that disgusting floam that they advertise on the disney channel! Kids are usually enticed by the ads or commercials and don't always know what's good for them.
You are not mean to buy children things you think are good for them. If you buy them some of what they want, ( that are also the things you think are good for them), and then some of what you know they could enjoy , you are giving them a tremendous advantage. It teaches them to appreciate other people's points of view and to give things a chance before they decide they don't like them.
Buying only things that the kids ask for is just getting them stuck in a rut, if you ask me. also, as you mentioned, it teaches them to expect people to do their bidding, which is not a healthy attitude!
best of luck! Keep expanding your children's horizons!
2006-12-20 10:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by kristin c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get my kids what they ask for to some extent, but it's a lot of fun to mix in a little surprise as well. I agree with a previous answer that you should try to come to a compromise with your husband. They're your kids too.
2006-12-20 11:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by caseyagain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids are still too young to "ask" for what they want. However, my parents always got my brother and I one or two things we asked for then the rest were suprises. I always liked being suprised better than getting exactly what I wanted.
2006-12-20 10:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually look for toys that are rated for the age bracket.
As for adults with tantrums, a small out door cooker with a big bag of charcoal may be fitting.
2006-12-20 10:32:47 · answer #10 · answered by duster 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋