Looking for new ideas and advice about 7 year old daughter??

Question

My 7 year old daughter wets her pants often. This will happen 2-3 times a day and then not for a few days. She never wets at night. I limit her fluids after dinner, she has been checked for UTI and small bladder. I really think she is just being lazy, not going when she is playing or involved in something. I have tried taking things away, grounding, even made her wear a pull-up for a day, which actually worked for about a week. She is the middle child of 5 and actually is always busy with her older or younger siblings. I do not think it is an attention getting ploy because she will do her best to hide it from us when she has "an accident". I send her to the bathroom every hour or so when she is home, any other ideas?? Thank you in advance.

Answer 1

I had this problem with my sons. It just about drove me insane! I'm glad you've taken her to the doctor and ruled out any physical problems. Remember to keep your patience! It is SOOO frustrating when this happens, but it's frustrating for her too. She probably hides because she knows there's trouble ahead.

My son actually "couldn't feel it coming!" That was his description of the problem and the doctor told us that sometimes when kids "hold it" for such a long time, they DO get kind of "de-sensitized" and that really can't feel it! Sending her frequently to the bathroom, whether she thinks she has to go or not, is about the best thing you can do. I also tried to "discreetly" point out when other kids went to the bathroom. In public places, if I saw a child and mother going into the bathroom, I'd say "Look! That little boy must be going to the bathroom! I hope he remembers to wash his hands!" or "Look at that shirt that little boy has on! See him! He's going into the restroom with his Dad! Cool shirt, huh!" At church, we would sometimes count the number of kids that got up left during services. (We assumed that they were ALL going to the bathroom!) It gave them something to do to keep them busy during church too!

You have to take it day by day. Each day I would give my son a reward at the end of the day if he made it the whole day. (One of my boys was actually a bit older than your daughter!) We got "cool" underwear and talked about it a LOT! We even got a "Batman" soap dispenser to use for hand washing when he was finished! I let him know that he should not "hold it" when he had to go and be sure to let me know. We also kept track of how many times he went a day! He would get a check mark every time he went.

I know it's kind of a silly thing to reward and converse about, but it needed to be done! We needed him to know that it was just a part of life and everybody has to do it! Good luck! Remeber to keep your cool! That is probably the hardest part! There is light at the end of the tunnel though! She wants to get through this as much as you do!

Answer 2

I find it odd that, if it is a legitimate bladder problem, she is not wetting the bed at night. It seems to me that she would be. That alone tells me that it is happening for some other reason. Although she hides it from you, she may still be doing it for attention....even if she doesn't realize it. Or, maybe it is because she doesn't want to stop what she's doing to go potty....maybe she is afraid of losing her "spot" or activity to another kid while she is gone to the bathroom. Have you talked to her about it? Really sat down and talked calmly with her? Maybe she could tell you why. And maybe while you are talking you could work out some sort of reward for her if she goes x amount of time without an accident. And, if it is because she doesn't want to leave an activity because she may lose it, then make a house rule that no one can touch someone's toys or games while they are in the bathroom...hands off!

Is she in school? If so, talk to her teacher. Does she have these accidents there? Maybe her teacher could help with some ideas also.

Answer 3

My daughter is 5 and does the same thing. I have taken her to the doctor too and nothing came of it. I just started making her go before we leave the house, in the morning, at night, and a few times during the day. Does she do it at school? If not then it might be an attention thing. I don't understand it either cause when my daughter does it, it's not good attention she is getting. Good luck and take your time with her. Just let her know that the toys will be there when she gets back from the bathroom.

Answer 4

This is a hard answer to write. I read thru what the other answers say and I hope and pray one of them is correct. However you might want to take her to a therapist and see if she has been molested. I used to take care of a lil girl who had been molested by her uncle and she was afraid to go to the bathroom and have to expose herself to potty. It took her parents almost 3 months to figure out what was going on, why she started peeing herself. I hope this isn't the case but in this day and age you can't be too careful or check too many things when your childs safty may be at risk. After i worked for that family i took a class on how to spot child abuse, and wetting the pants for no apparent reason is a classic sign, and it dosent have to be for the same reason as the girl i mentioned, kids all have different reasons for doing the same behavior. Get her checked and God Bless.

Answer 5

You need to try everything until you find the right "trick".
Try special panties. I had some success with a range of nappies called pull-ups which had a special design on them. My son liked them and wanted to keep them clean. Can you "trick" your daughter into feeling that these panties are special? eg "These come all the way from England" or " I only bought one pair because they're so expensive" or "Now your old enough to wear these special ones"

Keep trying. What works for one child won't always work for the next. And sometimes things can work for a month or two and then stop working. If you keep trying patiently your daughter will grow up knowing your love.

Answer 6

There could be a problem with hormones. I'm not sure which one though. I used to babysit a boy that wet his pants often and finally his mom took him to the doctor for something else, but brought it up with the doctor. He checked a hormone and prescribed a pill. After this, no wet pants!

Answer 7

Punishing sometimes increases the problem, not helps it. I would try going back to the way you originally potty trained her. Whether w/ rewarding her w/ stickers or in my daughters case-gum. And even if she hides it, it could still be an attention getting ploy, attention is attention to most children. Even if it's negative.

Answer 8

I have the same problem with my almost 8 year old son. (Although he still wets at night too.) We tried chiropractic and DHA supplements for a while and they really helped. Then we ran out of money for the chiro and couldn't go anymore. Needless to say, his problems increased after that.

Answer 9

If she throughs fights or anttidute (like not just one playing around) don't take it. Reward her every now and then and some weekends or during the week take a girls. Tell her that u want to undersatand why she is wetting the bed. maybe she can't controll it

Answer 10

try the reward system. if she goes all day without having an accident, give her a star and you decide what the reward will be and how many stars she needs to have in order to get her reward. of course, if she has an accident, take a star away. it's worth a try.