should i go 2 my mother in laws house on christmas. i really cannot stand her. a few weeks ago she said some really hurtful things to me and my hubby, she said them right in front of our child. which i feel is so wrong. i have not said more than hi to her when i do see her. i don;t think i can be nice to her if i go over there. she is so anoying!! what would u do?
2006-12-20 02:05:01 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ok, i have talked with my hubby, and he could care either way. i know if i cuss the lady out he would probably just back me up. it's just i don;t want my son 2 see that type of relationship!!
2006-12-20 02:10:04 · update #1
Don''t go there on christmas. Go there the next day or two days after if you still want to be nice. This way the important day will not be ruined.
2006-12-20 02:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by mareko 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I hate to tell you this but family is family. The bad thing is when you marry someone you marry their family too. I have a great mother in law (thank God) but if I were you I would lay it all out on the table and tell her just how you feel. If you think it will turn into a big fight then make sure your child is not there to see it. But if you let her she will just keep pushing you. Once you push back I think she will back off.
2006-12-20 10:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by irishlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, defininantly avoid her at all costs, if she did this in front of your child then you should think about ok.. what else would she do in fron of my child, your husband of course is probably still planning on going, let him, dont let him take your daughter, because then what she probably will do is hear what grandma is saying about you behind your back, its not righ, go spend it with your family and have fun, see if your husband can spend the early part of the morning with them only and come back with you, so that way in the evening you'll have her out of your mind. I am in your shoes right now, only it was a bit worse, but it did start off with her saying very stupid things, I usually like to vent out on a website that really is supportive of you, and lets you vent out about the inlaws, its called www.ihatemyinlaws.com, you should check it out, you can get different looks at your situation from other members, and get excellent advice, good luck :)
2006-12-20 15:49:44 · answer #3 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go. Have Christmas at your house. If she calls and asks why your not there, hang up.
She sounds as though she is in control and you both have to show her she's NOT!
It's too bad you feel you even have to say HI when you see her. I'd just turn and walk away!!
IF she's a mean old bat, let her suffer a few holiday's without the pleasure of your company.
2006-12-20 10:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I to deal with a mother in law (and sister in law)whom feels the need to say hurtful things to me.Know matter how bad it hurts you,you have to keep in the back of your mind that this women probably has other issues and that she chooses to take them out on you because you let her and she knows nothing will be said.I am the same way,and that is why my mother in law says hurtful things to me.If you and your husband both agree that something needs to be said,i would let him confront her,that way she doesn't think that you are ganging up on her,and it is his mother.Good luck!
2006-12-20 10:31:50 · answer #5 · answered by Sassyface 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you married you "hubby" you married him not his family. You now have your own family and if your mother-in-law can not get along with "your" family she does not have to be apart of it. Do what you feel is right for "your" family happiness and don't worry about what others think and feel as the one's that matter the most live under your roof.
2006-12-20 10:57:35 · answer #6 · answered by CB 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did she say these things in her house or yours?
If she said them in her house I would not go at all - and just send a polite card saying you can not make it.
If she said them in your house, in fornt of your child - then I would politely show up at her house, when things are calm and you have her alone tell her you are a bigger and better person thanshe is because you refuse to ruin your familys Christmas because of her narrow mindedness..... and then tell her she is not welcome in your house until she can be adult enough to apologize to your family and explain to your family - especially your child - why she acted the way she did....
But discuss it with your husband first - and let him know what you think you should do about it..... He does know about the way she acted right?
2006-12-20 10:09:06 · answer #7 · answered by Bugs_Mom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a tough one. especially with the saying you can pick your friends but not your family.
if she invited you to come over for christmas then accept and tell her to please keep "adult" discussions between you two private and not in front of your child. if she agrees then there would be an opportunity to tell her that what she said was hurtful. bear in mind that there has to be some give and take. if her words has some truth to it but it was in her approach that offended you then try and resolves some issues or agree to disagree.
good luck!
2006-12-20 10:13:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be the bigger person and go over there. sometimes you have to fake it to make it. It seems normal my mother in law hates me! but i am still married to her child and so i wouldn't hurt our relationship i would sacrifice my sanity,it is a fact that the mother son bond is strong....... good luck
2006-12-20 10:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your right you don't want to hrt your child. Be the bigger person and go there and pretend you are not even bothered by her talk to everyone else and when she talks to you you can brush her off a little. But don't start a fight around your child especially around the holidays its not fair to anyone
2006-12-20 14:40:10 · answer #10 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋