I went through this with my best friend when I got married. It got so bad that she just assumed (as she put it) that my head was shoved so far up my husbands butt I couldnt function. And she stopped talking to me for over a year.
Her insecurities and jealousy dont need to effect your life. You're married now, and your husband comes first, its just natural. Its part of a healthy marriage.
Me and my friend hashed things out, and while she's still wickedly jealous, and judges me for everything I do, and blames me for running off and ruining our friendship, i KNOW i've put time and effort into it, but she's been too caught up in feling sorry for herself to participate.
Its really annoying. But some times you just have to let it go. You know you'll always be there for her, and be sure to let her know that, but that your family and husband are always going to come first. you have a place for her, but its not what it used to be. You're married now, some day when she's married she'll understand.
NO matter what the cause is on her side, the effect to you is what you can control.
Just let her go do her own thing, and know that you'll be there for her always, even though she thinks its not good enough.
Dont stress over it.
2006-12-20 02:10:18
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answer #1
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answered by amosunknown 7
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She just Miss's you! Its not like the good old days when you could go out and have fun and not worry about getting home to the hubbie. Make a night for her as you said you did/do once a week. Do what she wants to do and make a night out of it. Tell her that you have new responsibility as a wife and need to at home after work to spend time with him and un wind from work. If shes your best friend I think she will understand. Have short conversations with her on the phone nightly, invite her over for dinner with all 3 of you. I know its hard to juggle a friend and a lover at the same time I have been there and done that. Eventually they just learn to get over it! Good luck!
2006-12-20 02:19:32
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answer #2
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answered by BOOTS! 6
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I hear you on how busy being a newlywed can be. I was married just over 3 months ago and we moved into our first house a week after the wedding. My husband's best friend was always over for a few weeks; cuz they were working on re-doing the bathroom (which was a huge neccessity; me being pregnant and all.)
You don't want to be rude to your friend; but I assume they are old enought to understand what's going on.
Be honest and tell them you and your new husband need some alone time together to let everything sink in. Tell her; you'll give her a call when things start to settle down.
2006-12-23 07:35:07
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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No i dont think you are wrong. I was in the same situation at one point. I had a friend that i spent a lot of time with. Then i met my husband to be.. things started to change in my life moving from parents house to love of my lifes. Eventually came marriage and a baby. She didnt seem to understand that my life had changed and that i couldnt be at her beckon call all the time. So i understand where you are coming from. Your not being mean.. shes just gonna have to come to terms that your life is different now. You just need to tell her 'this is whats going on and thats how it going to be' My hubby started to get REALLY annoyed when my friend was calling all the time so i had to lay the law down on my friend. She just had to realize things where different. i hope you resolved the issue :)
2006-12-20 02:17:56
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answer #4
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answered by alysza81 3
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This occurred to me as soon as I married. My dating with my satisfactory buddy transformed, however no longer for the reason that I desired it to. I was once continually asking if she desired to visit dinner or have beverages; She and her husband have been the primary couple my husband and I entertained as a pair, but she's by no means invited us to their position or has requested for us to social gathering and hang around. Yes, your lifestyles has transformed. It's no longer as in case you don't seem to be looking to make the time to hang around together with her. Maybe she's feeling a bit insecure or jealous. If she's your satisfactory buddy, then she already is aware of approximately you ailment. Also, might be you will have simply grown aside; you are in a major, dedicated dating and she or he cannot work out how you can have one. Sometimes a important difference brings your variations into cognizance. It does not imply that you just cannot be peers, it simply approach that you've extraordinary priorities. You cannot difference how she's reacting in your marriage. Maybe you'll be able to established an afternoon and time that's solely for the 2 of you, and stick with it. It simply sounds to me that your marriage reminds her of in which she is not in lifestyles. She needs to be responsible and make her lifestyles what she wishes it to be, and best she will be able to do this.
2016-09-03 16:52:35
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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It'll be hard for her to adjust be she was right in knowing this would happen when you got married. It happens! She just needs time to adjust. Sit down with her and let her know you still love her, but that things ARE different now and you are in a different phase right now. Make specific plans with her when she calls, rather than just saying no. Schedule time to go shopping on the weekend. It really is just something she will have to get used to. Just sit down and talk to her about it.
2006-12-20 03:20:02
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answer #6
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answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7
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she is just upset that you are in a new part of your life that she is not in. or can't be a part of. like you said you do still spend time with her that should help. why don't you invite her over for dinner one day a week as well. that way you are still staying at home but you can spend time with her as well. good luck.
2006-12-20 02:09:40
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answer #7
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answered by littleluvkitty 6
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I suggest you go out to lunch with her one day specifaclly for the reason to have this conversation. I do think she is jealous because the guy she has been w/ for 2 yrs treats her like crap( I think thats the one she wants to treat her like a queen). You have someone who treats you well and she is jealous that you have that. If you are like me you consider your bf's just like another sister and it time to have a sister to sister heart to heart.
2006-12-20 02:36:48
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answer #8
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answered by Love United 6
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Next time you have a girls night out, invite some other girls. Maybe she will develop a few other friendships she can rely on if you aren't available.
2006-12-20 03:03:18
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answer #9
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answered by ankle biter tamer 2
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