I know that you have to open yourself up a little in order to feel love, and you have to let the good in with the bad.
But, what if you are, like my cousin, so scared to get hurt that you don't even try? Do you find people who close themselves off like this to be a hopeless cause?
2006-12-20 01:59:25 · 17 answers · asked by Mintygoodness1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give 'em time.
2006-12-20 02:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by sixgun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we were all like your cousin, then it would be a lonely world. Think about it...ANY TIME we love ANYBODY, we are going to get hurt. Parents, siblings, cousins, friends. That is part of what love is about. Not a part we like, but it is part of it. There will always be ups and downs. Hopefully more ups than downs, but there will always be both in a relationship. I have been hurt by guys in the past. But I won't let it stop me from finding the right one. Yes they will be a hopeless cause if they don't open up. My soon to be ex husband may be one of those. In his mind, he will always be alone. Or that it will be YEARS before he finds someone else. If that happens, it will be because that is what he wants to happen, the same as your cousin. I'm not sure why they are like that, but there are alot of people so afraid of getting hurt, that they end up rejecting themselves, when they reject a chance at love.
2006-12-20 02:11:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who have been hurt really bad in the past tend to close themselves off to others (including close friends and relatives). Not sure if that is what happened to your cousin or not, but I know the situation, been there myself! But, for most, it is a temporary thing (although for some can be a long one). A true friend would stick around and help where she can - provide a shoulder to cry on, give support and encouragement in small ways when needed - its tough, but it's worth it. No one is hopeless cause!
2006-12-20 02:09:53 · answer #3 · answered by Amy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, they are not a hopeless cause, but it will be difficult for them to come out of their shell. Some people just have a hard time dealing with rejection, so therefore, they just try to eliminate the possibility of it ever happening. I think in time though, your cousin will realize what he/she is missing and will open up slowly
2006-12-20 02:04:21 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a good idea just to remind her of the consequences of her choices. When talking with her about this just remind her that all relationships are risks and if she can't bring herself to take those risks she could end up alone for the rest of her life. Try to get her to weigh those two things against each other. On one hand your have a life where you never get hurt and on the other you have a lonely, empty life.
2006-12-20 02:19:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. I actually almost screwed up my realationship with my hubby when we were dating. I was so scared to get hurt that I would hurt the person I was with before he could hurt me. Thats no way to be. Its possible to change but first you need to find someone thats not going to hurt you. You need to talk to her and tell her not to give up trying. Not everyone is an a**hole.
2006-12-20 02:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by Jesse's Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sousin reminds me of myself i have been hurt so much by guyys that its not even funny and i just learned to dael with it.I dont jump into things with guys i get to know them b4 i try and even tell them how i truely feel i may tell them that i have feelings for them but im not sure if a i want a guy rite now or w/e but it works and now i found a guy that is rilly sweet and i trust him no matter what and i never fail at telling him how i feel and he hasnt hurt me yet and its been like a year
2006-12-20 02:05:36 · answer #7 · answered by xxrlhoodratxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might get hurt but you cant let that stand in your way of anything. You cant put off wining for the fear of losing.
2006-12-20 02:04:01 · answer #8 · answered by Hillary N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me, i'm working on it though I don't look at it as a lost cause just learning when to let up and let down your walls and with who.
2006-12-20 02:08:02 · answer #9 · answered by imacutie2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way is too find the right kind of guy, be friends and then you become a couple it might work for me.
2006-12-20 02:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was that way for almost six years i hated the thought of getting hurt again and until i found my fiance i just gave up on thm men then i found mister write i even tried topush him away but he did not let me know we are getting married something i was never gonna do she will come thrue just give her time it will work out it did for me
2006-12-20 02:03:15 · answer #11 · answered by angie f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋