Do you think I'm too strict about mi girl's bras?

Question

My 13 yo girl has breasts more developed then most girls her age. I'm a very caring mom, so I make her wear bras that give proper support and really protect her breasts. She doesn't like the bras I got her, says they are uncomfortable, suck, etc. But I'm sure they are great bras and I've been really strict on this point. She keeps complaining, but she's a wonderful girl and doesnt't rebel, though sometimes she gets somewhat mad at me. I tell her it's for her best, I worry bout her, love her so much. I treat her with much love, and this makes things easier. Once she disobeyed, but she's a so good girl that she regreted, told me and apologized. I forgave and just make her promise she'll always wear the bras I gave her.Her bras are like the one at http://www.anita.com/de/en/0,1,104,1478,39236__products-detail.htm A great bra, Iwear one too, but she complains it's hot and has 4 hooks, which in my opinion is a great thing. After all, moms know best, I'm her mom and love her so much

Answer 1

While I agree that if she's that developed she should be wearing a bra, but she should have some input on them. The pic you linked seems a bit much for a 13 year old, but I don't know her size. Try taking her to a department store that can properly fit her and let her help pick out what she wants. She'll complain less if they're in fun colors and patterns and look nice.

Answer 2

I love it how when you ask a legitimate question, some people will tell you that you need counseling....lolol.

I'm a guy and a parent, but my opinion is this. This would be a great opportunity for your daughter to hone her decision making process. You want her to have proper support, etc., and she wants something cooler and more comfortable. So let her do the research and show you that she can come up with a good compromise. Then you too can "haggle" over choices in a friendly way. This will help her decision making abilities.

I have an 8 year old (not yet ready for the bra department), but I let her negotiate various things (from staying up a bit later, etc) to give her examples of how the real world works (it's alot of "give & take" and compromising).

Answer 3

It's a bit much mom. a 13 yr. old has to feel feminine when first becoming a lady and having to wear a bra. The 4 hooks can wait for a few years. Let her have ones that look funky or even a bit sexy so she likes to wear them, then once she's older, she'll see that the extra support is better. Your making her feel like an old lady with the 4 hooks!!!!

Answer 4

Why don't you take her and let her pick out some bras that are comfortable? To be honest, that bra looks sort of grandma-ish. Would you want to be forced to wear something you hated? At least compromise with the poor girl. You guys should go find some bras you can agree on. Compromise is key in all relationships, even with your kids.

Answer 5

You should take her bra shopping and let her pick out something herself. It's not good if she's not comfortable. How would you feel if you had to wear something every day that you weren't comfortable in?

I know how she feels. I was already wearing bra's in grade 4, when the other girls barely had to wear training bras. My mom took me to the mall and help me chose something that was good and age appropriate. I'm sorry, but the bra's you've picked out for her isn't appropriate for her. I'm a 34DD now and I've never had to wear a bra like that.

Answer 6

OK yes she needs to wear a bra when out at school or not at house.(let her go bra-less at home)but that bra makes me think of an old lady bra. there are lots of stylish bras that would be more appropriate for a 13 yr old. she might like the sports bra type. they offer great support and are much more comfy and not as sweaty. that is what i wear and I'm 36D. been alittle and she will appreciate it and show you more respect because you comprised

Answer 7

have you tried taking her with you to a department store and let a person who maybe able to measure her breast so the can fit her for the right bra and them explain to her the import ants of way she need to where a support bra. As parents we know children Will usually take advice from some one other then us just give it a try it may work

Answer 8

Why not make bra shopping something fun for her to do? Victoria's Secret offers free bra fittings and they have some nice, simple bras for a 13 yr old. This experience would allow her to be involved and would also ensure that she wears a properly fitting bra.

Answer 9

Hi mom, I would see exactly what she has in mind. And i would allow her to try something different. Sometimes us parents just don't get it. The things we as parents see as best for them is not always what they see as best. Give her a little leeway in this. It is obvious that she sees the bra you pick out for her as "moms" bra, now she wants "my" bra. Kids are individuals. She will make her own choices eventually anyway, so if i were you, and i wanted to be included i would let her try some for herself. And show her your interested in her tastes. Let her experiment and enjoy this part of her maturing with a mom who is fun, and wanting to share in her development in a positive way. Be a little bit more supportive yourself.

Answer 10

The bra does look a bit smothering. I don't think I would feel comfortable in it. Try something like Rigby and Peller. They are expensive but they are very nice and they are supportive as they are made for larger sizes. I am a 32F and always find nice, comfortable but petty bras there.