Adopt or become the legal guardian?

Question

I am a mother or two and just found out the my sister (19yrs old) is pregnant...7 months pregnant at that. She can not afford to take care of this baby on her own. SHe only makes $230 week. Daycare in our area in approx. $195 week. She currently lives with our dad and has not told him yet in fear that he will kick her out. Which, he probably will. My husband and I talked to her last night about what her plans are and she tells us she hasnt thought about it because it just stresses her out to much. She is also a high risk pregnancy and could deliver this baby at any given moment (incompatent cervix). The doctor told her bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy but she is still working because she cant afford to stay on bed rest. We also asked her if she plans on keeping the baby (a girl by the way). She said that she would like to but that she just can afford to. The only placw where she lucks out is that I have every single piece of baby equipment that she will need. HELP

Answer 1

Is there any way that she could live with you? I mean, can you help her out like that, so she can work and hopefully get on her feet? Maybe with the proper help and support, she could go back to school and get a degree. I dont think she needs her child taken, not unless she is unfit. They are gonna need eachother, trust me, the one great motivator for a mom is her child. (Well, most moms anyway.)
She is gonna have to talk about it though. If she wants you to be a guardian, then that is her decision. I just dont believe in seperating the mom and child....again, unless there is abuse or the such.
And..really, she should talk to your dad. He may be mad a first, but the one thing that will soften a heart is a grandchild. This I know for a fact!

Answer 2

Gosh I'm really sorry about your sisters pridicament. I'm sure their has to be some funding to help her with day care. In Orlando there is 4H, in NYC there is the Urban League. Tell her to go to planned parenthood in her area and they should be able to direct her to where she can go to get help with the cost of day care because I'm from NYC and I had a friend who made $11hr as a file clerk and she still only had to pay $14 a month and her son was at the best day care facility in our area (most people were paying $1200 a month). Ask around as far as help with Day care and plus there is WIC that will help her with meat, dairy, and cereal until the child is 5yrs old. I know you and her may not want public assistance but the help is there for those that need it. Where is the father of the baby in all of this? To answer you question I would say legal guardian because when she gets on her feet I am sure she is gonna want her baby back.

Answer 3

I am not sure what exactly your question is....are you trying to decide whether to adopt her child or take legal guardianship of the child....or do you mean let her give the baby up for adoption? It isn't quite clear what exactly you are asking. But in my opinion, your sister should have already told your father and gave him time to adjust to the idea, he may have been upset but he also may have come around before the baby was born. She needs to check into assistance from the state, and she needs to decide what it is that she really wants. Have you made these suggestions to her? You said that she wants to keep the baby but cannot afford it, well there are ways around that. In most states she can get daycare assistance, as well as a welfare check, and food stamps. There is also the WIC program for formula and stuff until the child is 5. If she really wants to keep her baby, then she needs to listen to her doctor first of all before she ends up losing the baby, secondly, she needs to start preparing for the child. Understandable that you have everything she will need, but where is she going to put all of this stuff that you have for the baby? If you are thinking of helping her out, instead of trying to adopt the baby or take legal guardinship......allow her to move in with you and help your sister get on her feet with that baby. Help her raise the baby, don't take it from her.

Answer 4

She's 7 months and still able to hide the fact she's pregnant?? Wow.

She needs to tell dad, no matter how big her fear of his reaction. This is huge and she owes it to him because a) he's grandpa and b) she still lives with him.
Its up to her whether she keeps the child or gives it up for adoption - I assume the father is not in the picture to help out?
If she wants to keep it - she clearly can't live on her own with that kind of wage and support a child without help - she should contact her local government offices and see what programs are available to her for things like daycare subsidy, housing (if grandpa kicks her out), help with monthly food and other bills etc. Baby stuff can be had cheap from garage sales, second-hand stores, local church - she could even contact local planned parenthood center to see what help is there for her.
THings would've been easier if she'd have been upfront to begin with - much more time to sort all this stuff out....

Answer 5

Well this is a tricky one, you have all kinds off legal work to do if you want to adopt. Still do with legal guardian, but a little less. You might want to consider just being the legal guardian of the child since it is your sister and she lives near you. She might change her mind awhile down the road and want to raise her child herself. In that case it would be better if you are the legal guardian for the child since it is easier with paperwork to transfer guardianship back to the mother, than undoing a adoption.
It depends on how you and your husband feel, this is a big decision, so discuss it with him and make sure he agrees to do this, also make sure you have enough money/room to bring up a child.
Depending on how old your 2 children are, you might want to discuss it with them since it will affect their life too.
Hope this helps you make a decision........

Answer 6

Oh my goodness, I have IC (Incompetent Cervix), and please tell her to try to rest as much as she can! I lost my first one at 19 weeks, and the second one on bedrest the whole time with a vaginal cerclage at 23 weeks! If she is 7 months with IC maybe hers isn't as bad as mine, but I just can't help but worry that she is still working.

Would your husband be willing to let her and the baby come live with you guys until she can get on her feet? Since you have everything she needs that will help her tremendously!

Good luck!

Answer 7

If she's been in foster look after 3 years then "NO" because of the fact the foster discern could have first possibility to undertake even with each and everything those years. She Too has criminal rights as a foster discern.

Answer 8

I would suggest you adopt the baby. If you become legal guardian and she wants her back when she is on her feet it will be unbearable for you to handle. Keep her as your own and give your sister all the time she wants with the baby.

Answer 9

To adopt or to legally guard is really a question of what may happen inthe future. If you anticipate any possibility that your sister could in the future support herself and her daughter and would want her back, legally guard until that time. If not, adopt and get the legalities over with.

Answer 10

Help her with clothes, equipement and everything but don't take the baby away from her.Did you just say that she is 7 months pregnant and her father hasn't understood?Is he blind?