my perfect boyfreind broke up with me the same day i got to graute early also i had a perfect day planned out for the two of us everyone knew him and thought he was the one for me and i did too..... i was in love with him he was my first love and uh i belive he broke up with me cuz he tought we could not last anymore outside of school i was so willing to make it work too... but he just gave up..
2006-12-20 01:32:50 · 26 answers · asked by Playboy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, stop calling him a perfect boyfriend. Hook up with your friends, go out and have fun. You will meet a new guy and he will be much better.
2006-12-20 01:34:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it be over. That means no more calling your ex to 'talk about it' or texting mutual friends to find out what he is saying about you. If you start to cry every time you see your ex on IM, remove his name from your friends list. You can always add it back later, when you're feeling less emotional. You can't move on until you take out your mental scissors and snip those ties.
Sure, you might want to still be friends with your ex, but that comes later. Right now, there's a big fat broken heart in the way. When everyone is all healed up and feeling semi-normal around each other again, THEN you can be friends. For now, give yourself some space.
Wallow for a little while. Even though it's officially over now, that doesn't mean you have to be totally over it right this second. You deserve a little time to be bummed, if bummed is how you feel. You can be sad, cry, whine, write depressing song lyrics, and watch romantic movies that make you cry even more. Ask your friends and family for their patience while you get everything off your chest that you need to.
Then stop wallowing. You can't stay in be in that stage forever. Your eyes will be puffy all the time, you'll start to sound like a broken record, and you'll annoy even your closest friends. Don't torture yourself by replaying the relationship and its tragic ending over and over in your head. The idea with wallowing is to help get it out of your system. So give it a few days -- then stand up, wipe yourself off, and move on.
Your ex wasn't perfect -- nobody is. So stop wishing it had worked out and focus on spending time with your friends and family instead. These people are likely to be in your life long-term, after lots of other relationships come and go.
Get the GOOD kind of revenge. If your feelings were hurt badly, you might be tempted to retaliate against your ex. But that's not going to help you feel better, honestly. Leaving nasty comments on your ex's website might seem like a great idea if you're angry, but mostly it just makes you look bad, and like you're unable to move on.
Rather than doing something negative, do something positive for yourself. Get a new haircut, start a new art project, or practice a new sport. If there's something you like that your ex had no interest in, now's the time to do that thing. You're finally free of the "we," so you can think about what you want for a change. Do things that build your self-confidence, because that makes you a more attractive person. And that's the only kind of revenge you need.
:]
2006-12-20 01:48:43 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he was just waiting for the opportunity. Try not to cry over him too long, even though getting hurt by your first love is probably never going to leave you completely.
In my experience the perfect ones are never perfect, and also what seems right NOW, is probably completely wrong for you later. I found that only over time I could see what was important for me in a partner, and I found my partner after I had had several other relationships.
Everyone is a package deal, and where you see only perfection, you can almost be sure there is something not so perfect underneath. With the ones that carry their cards open and are not perfect on first inspections you could expect fewer surprises. Also: since you are probably not perfect either, you can balance each other out.
2006-12-20 01:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by Julia S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very tough situation and my heart goes out to you, girlfriend! You must be in a lot of pain right now but I hope that you can take comfort in your friends, family, and faith/spirituality. I think it helps if you remember that things happen for a reason, that YOU are the perfect person, not him, and that IF he is the perfect person, he will want to be with you. You can just try to be the best person you can be, focus on your education, your health, your passions, whatever it is that makes you want to get up in the morning and drives you to accomplish your goals, including your loved ones. I have been in love with people that I was sure were the perfect people at THAT time, but looking back, it was a moment of time that we shared, but that overall, they were not the best match. You may find this to be true in your own life. Part of a great relationship, and a lasting one, is that you can go through changes together, both individually, and together, and come out stronger and better on the other end. His lack of interest or lack of commitment shows a lack of maturity on his part, and I am sure that once you find YOURself and what YOU love to do, you will find someone that will treat you great and appreciate all the hard work you are putting in to improve yourself. YOU GO GIRL!!
Btw, Oprah has had a lot of episodes about this, just try to remember your own worth and beauty.
2006-12-20 01:38:38 · answer #4 · answered by CuriousGirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ladies have spoken and I agree. He wasn't so "perfect" after all. Don't set your self up to get hurt like that and never lable any one as perfect. No one is. You've gotta just put yourself out there and trust and love and well don't always expect to get hurt or not get hurt. Everyone's different. Give it time and the right guy will come along. Hopefully a romantic and a chivalrous guy too. You deserve some chivalry girl. So sorry to hear bout your experience with mr. wrong.
2006-12-20 01:41:24 · answer #5 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he broke up with you, then he wasn't perfect. Anyhow, there is no such thing as a perfect mate. Maybe he couldn't live up to being perfect? There are plenty more out there....you just have to move on, accept it, and Thank God you didn't go down the wrong path. There should be something better waiting.
2006-12-20 01:36:30 · answer #6 · answered by twicewise 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe me, your first love isn't your last. I had my heart broken by someone I was in love with in high school, but in hindsight, we would have never worked out, for reasons beyond the already-significant fact that we ended up in different states after graduation.
Take some time to heal, then look forward to all the new people who will be passing through your life.
2006-12-20 01:47:54 · answer #7 · answered by Blenderhead 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to him and ask him why it was he split up with you and how he feels about it. If it is the reason you think it is, just try to explain to him how it could work, without sounding too desparate, and then see what he thinks. If he did do it for that reason it means he didn't do it because he didn't have feelings for you. So if he can see a way it can work then he might give it another go. If it wasn't because of that then you will just have to move on. Still ask him to explain the reason behind his decision though. It will help you to draw a close on the relationship and will aid you in moving on healing from being hurt. Hope you feel better about things soon x
2006-12-20 01:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Doesn't sound that perfect to me.
Dealing with a breakup is always difficult when you love the person you're breaking up with.
I broke up with my gf & bf last January. Though I loved them very much, the situation wasn't a healthy one. Neither was completely honest with me. I'm still dealing with the emotional fallout. Worse, they still attend the dojo I do, so I'm always running into them.
Time is the only cure. Unfortunately, it's not a painless cure.
I wish you well.
2006-12-20 01:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no one is perfect in this world. We only deemed others perfect if we perceived them to be. It will take you time to mend your broken heart but you have to make an effort to move on with your life. Start going out with your friends and even testing the waters again. Im sure you will find someone who will eventually replace your ex.
2006-12-20 01:41:41 · answer #10 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One Day at a Time. As the days pass by you will be up and then down but if you work at it there will soon be more days up than down. Better for you to know he was not willing to work on the relationship now than to go on and get married and have him quit on you after a baby is born.
2006-12-20 01:37:20 · answer #11 · answered by curiosity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋