The other night my 13 year old and 9 year old boys decided to have a paint war in the garage. They found my husbands paint gun for spraying walls and found some old house paint. Not only did they get completely covered in paint themselves they also got a bunch of paint on one of the cars, all over my husbands tools and one of the garage walls. I caught both of them in the act and then they claimed it wasn't their fault... do they think I am stupid? I had them both strip down at the backdoor, sent the 9 year old to his room and sent the 13 year old to the bathroom. I ended up spanking the 9 year old immediately and also grounded him for 2 weeks on top of the spanking.
2006-12-20 01:28:15 · 27 answers · asked by Beth C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
There was paint on all their clothes, shoes etc... Anyway I threw the 13 year old in the tub. It took me about an hour to get all the paint off of him. While scrubbing, I told my 13 year old he has no video games for a month and he his grounded from going outside after school and he has to clean the mess up in the garage. As I was nearly finished up with him, he didn’t think this was fair. He pretty much told me I couldn’t make him do anything. Kind of funny considering here I am scrubbing paint off of him in the bathtub. Well anyway he then called me an idiot, so I pretty much had it. I hauled his butt right out of the tub, flipped him over my knee and spanked him about 10 times right in the bathroom and in front of his brother as it was almost his turn in the tub. I caught him way off guard and he was crying like he was 7.
2006-12-20 01:28:28 · update #1
I hadn't spanked the older one in some time. As I hauled him out of the tub, he said to me, "what the hell are you doing?" I didn't answer him... I quickly put his legs under my thigh and turned him over and it was just then he then realized what I was going to do. All of then sudden his reaction was, "NO STOP... I didn't mean it!!" I didn't say a word to him, but after about 10 swats I stopped. While he was crying I just told him to get back in the tub. I grabbed his pjs out of his bedroom and finished up with him 5 minutes later.
My 9 year old gave me no problems at all after witnessing that. Do you think I was too tough on them?
2006-12-20 01:28:53 · update #2
10 swats might have been a bit much (just a tad though), but kudos to you for not being afraid to spank your children. Kids need a little butt kicking from time to time to keep them in check. :-)
I'd love to hear how they thought it wasn't their fault.
2006-12-20 01:40:22 · answer #1 · answered by jeepdrivr 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
GOOD FOR YOU!!! 13 and 9 year olds knew when they were into the paint that it was wrong. What did they expect you to do... applaud their art skills?? They knew they would be in big trouble. I am sure one or both of them uttered "Mom is gonna kill us when she sees this mess"... at least once while they were up to no good. Will it be a funny story you can tell for years... yes and someday you will appreciate it. For now though they got their "just rewards" and I am sure they will never do it again. I am a firm believer in spanking when it is called for, such as what you went through, and I am proud to say, I haven't spanked my 5 kids in a long time. However for this, I would not have done anything differently. CUDOS TO YOU MOM!! :)
2006-12-20 10:53:14 · answer #2 · answered by RaLoh 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Heck no! One. They Both should have known better Two. If they want to do something like that they should ask so you could get them in old clothes that you wouldn't care about and have something covering there face,hair ect , But no you did the right thing and expeacilly with your 13 year old *sheaks head* that little mouthy brat got what he needed and this is coming from a 14 1/2 year old!
2006-12-20 11:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
first, i would have pretty upset. however, spanking is totally worthless. the point of discipline is to teach. you teach not to do stuff like this by making them clean it up.
that's all. that would have been more than enough. clean it, clean it, clean it and then lose money that's in bank accounts or forth coming, to pay for what they've damaged that can't be repaired. and supervising them would help, too.
spanking added nothing - it was totally pointless - showed you as weak and out of control.
spanking a 13 year old is also considered sexual abuse because of the stimulation of the buttocks. seriously. read about it.
you need to get control and start teaching, not hitting. sounds like the teaching is well overdue, as what 13 year old would think this was a good idea? i'm hard pressed to imagine a 13 year old boy who wants his mother to see him naked, let alone scrub him. what you did was an incredible violation of his personal integrity.
2006-12-20 11:07:42 · answer #4 · answered by cassandra 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
NO, I know you may have lost control and acted emotionally but you were really mad and we all get that way at one point or another. Children at that age, especially the 13 yr old, should know not to do things like that. I would be furious. Children need to learn not to act on impulse and to repsect the parents' home and their things, you work hard to put a roof over their heads and they want to destroy it?! That is unacceptable and you did what you had to do to get the point across. Don't worry, they are not going to hate or resent you when they get older. Don't worry, that is not considered "beating." Now they will know to think twice before doing something like that again.
I would suggest having a talk with them and telling them that you are sorry you lost control but that you were very disappointed in them.
Grounding is all relative, that is something you and your husband decide as far as how long they are grounded for and for what things.
2006-12-20 09:37:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think it is kinda funny. At least it was paint and not a gun. Just make them clean it up they either won't do it again or for sure make a much smaller mess. They are kids. If you feel you need to punish them after they clean the mess up then yea just ground them they are a little old for spankings who knows at their age they may even enjoy them. Chalk it up to learning experience and hope it is the worst thing they ever do.
2006-12-20 13:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like you reacted in anger to a huge mess....and any one of us can get on our high horse and tell you yes you reacted way to hard on them...cause you did...gosh i bet they had fun....sorry....i bet they will never do it again though....i think you should stick with the grounding but maybe pull them aside and apologize to them for the spanking which from how you described seemed a little on the harsh side.....13 is an age where boys are entering the age of puberty and he may have been crying more of embarrassment because his brother witnessed all this who knows...but talk to them.....have them clean up the mess too....if they get an allowance make them pay for the cleanup if something needs to be bought to get some of the paint off......and maybe in a while to come ....you can all laugh at how funny it was when the boys found the paint gun and had a paint war in the garage.....
2006-12-20 09:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, I don't think you were too hard on them. Though I do think you probably feel that way b/c you reacted in anger. And maybe if you had cooled down a bit you normally wouldn't respond that way. I totally believe that if you don't show them who is in control now, you'll never have control for the important things, like drugs, sex, etc. My sons are 8 &10 and I don't spank often but if I do,they know it's important.
2006-12-20 11:13:27 · answer #8 · answered by ksueditz 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Too tough on them? I don't know, but I also don't know that you were disciplining them or teaching them a lesson. Sounds like you were just being angry and lashing out.
At 13 & 9, spanking isn't going to do any good for them and will just make you ask questions like - "was I too hard on them?" The punishment or discipline should relate directly to the "crime." They should be old enough that they should have helped clean up the mess and lost privileges. That would have been more meaningful to them.
2006-12-20 10:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by Betsy 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This coming from girl whos 12 you didnt do wrong thingat all!!! What they did rilly was bad and must cost lot of money and they know not do that right? so they get what they deserve and they lucky not living in my house theyd be in much more trouble!! If i played with paint and get it all over id get majorly grounded and id get spanked til i couldnt sit down for like a month!!!!!!!
2006-12-20 13:48:43 · answer #10 · answered by Tia 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think your only problem was in responding in the anger and upset of the moment......however, I admire your restraint. That was a MAJOR mess. You might also consider having them make money or with-hold allowances until the clean up is paid for.....I assume there will be major repair work to be done on the car, walls, etc. They should understand that restraint is also their responsibility.
2006-12-20 10:27:23 · answer #11 · answered by Puzzler 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋