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I did not purchase a gift for my mom's boyfriend this year...or any year in the past for that matter. I did not know I was expected to. Actually I don't really care for him anyways so I choose not to buy him a gift this year. She called me angry because she felt I was excluding him. I explained to her that money was tight this year and NOT everyone recieved a gift from us this year. I thought it was very rude that she would call and complain about not getting a gift. I should choose who I give to and not feel obligated to get him something just because he's dating her. Is there some kind of rule on who you should have to buy a gift for? When it gets right down to it...she's upset that I don't accept and embrace her boyfriend. As I said I don't really care for him. She is trying to force me to accept him by guilt tripping me into buying him a gift. Saying he bought me something. So how should I respond to her being upset that I did not purchase a gift for him?.

2006-12-20 01:22:44 · 9 answers · asked by michelled123456 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

9 answers

You are exactly right. Giving is by choice. Nobody should try and make you feel guilty for not buying someone something; especially your mom. The only time you are obligated is when you are someone's Secret Santa. Christmas is about giving. If her boyfriend got you something, appreciate it and thank him. Maybe the gift might bring you closer. But, your mom needs to grow up. She should not make you feel you were suppose to do anything. Alot of people's budgets at this time of year are tight, and the people become depressed over it. I would say to your mom, " Mom, money is tight and I bought for those closest to my heart. It is all I could afford to do. If (?) bought me a gift, that was very kind of him. But he did not have to do that!"

2006-12-20 01:33:07 · answer #1 · answered by Biker Babe 3 · 1 0

You've set a precedent in not giving gifts to your mother's bf in the past years. Your reasons for not giving him a present are good.
You are right in believingt that your mother is trying to validate her relationship with her bf with you. She's hoping that if you give him a gift, you're emotionally ok with her dating him. And since you didn't give him anything, to her that means you are disapproving of her relationship with this man. Even if he *has* gotten you a gift doesn't mean you need to reciprocate. It's no wonder Christmas is so stressful!

With that said, lots of people give Christmas gifts to people they dislike, disapprove of, or can't afford to (think the boss at work) simply to keep peace.
It may be awkward to send him a gift at this point (it's still before Christmas, so you have time) but if you value your relationship with your mother, a box of homemade fudge, or cookies, or a card with a picture of your family inside would be a good peace offering. Don't go out and buy anything... this is a token of goodwill to her via a gift to him, nothing more.

You will need to be the more mature person. A little bit of oil on rough waters will make your life smoother in the future. He may well be your stepfather sometime in the future.

2006-12-20 01:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by Mmerobin 6 · 0 0

Explain to her that you understand she wants you to like her man... but also explain to her that forcing you or guilting you into buying him presents isn't the way to go about it. You already said that you don't care for him and therefore, shouldn't feel guilty about not buying him a present. Christmas, as well as any holiday, is about spending time with your loved ones- friends and family. You are not obligated in any way to him. Perhaps you're looking for someone to tell you you're not wrong in feeling the way that you do- so I'm telling you- you're not wrong!!

2006-12-20 01:28:57 · answer #3 · answered by kellilicious5 3 · 1 0

Ok, your mother needs to respect your feelings and not just think of her own. I can understand where you're coming from. This happened between my mom and me too, before. If that's how you feel, don't feel or be forced into buying him something. It isn't right.

2006-12-20 01:31:27 · answer #4 · answered by Finally FREE!! 1 · 0 0

i offered my boyfriend's mom (who's Catholic) a necklace that replaced into certainly an precis rosary. She could desire to assert her prayers with it and placed on it out in public, too. Have an incredible holiday!

2016-10-05 13:12:50 · answer #5 · answered by wardwell 4 · 0 0

thats not cool i am in the same sitchustion as u are its not fair christmas isnt about just bying christmas presents for people and if u dont like ur moms boyfriend then tell her she might get mad at u but shell get over it see my mom has a boyfriend and i dont like him well i like him it just my mom dont spend anytime with me and just him she gets mad at me when i confront her about it but she is going to have to get over it shes the mom she needs to by presents for him and take care of u not her boyfriend

2006-12-20 01:31:47 · answer #6 · answered by trish m 1 · 0 0

if i was you i would just get over it, buy him something small like aftershave or something that would shut everyone up

2006-12-20 01:26:38 · answer #7 · answered by jc 2 · 0 2

buy a small present

2006-12-20 01:24:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

**** TELL HER THATS HER MAN YOU AINT GIT TO GET HIM **** IF SHE DONT LIKE IT THEN TELL HER TO BY HIM SOMETHING!!!!!!!



TELL HER TO GET IT UP!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-20 01:24:57 · answer #9 · answered by nExT tOp MoDeL 2 · 0 3

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