drinking to forget?

Question

i have been seeing this girl now on and off now for 6mths...we always fall out when we drink....i never needed the drink to be with her but she always liked to drink so i wouold as well....i have never flet love till i met her,,,,some asked me the other day what i like about her,,,and i couldnt answer,,,,i guess u cant help who you fall in love with for no matter what reason....she was very abusive towards me in drink....she even tryed stabbing me once,,,i need to know why now i still miss her and want her...am i so sad..all my friends have told me to get rid...and that i can do better,,,i know i can do better,,i aint that bad,,,,but just dont understand why i feel like i do about her,,,i know she is bad news,,,now that we arent together i have strarted to drink more,,,i have recgonized my problem now and am seeking help for it....but my appointment aint for another 2 wks,,,,im drinking to forget,,,but when i wake in the morning it just seems worse,,,,

Answer 1

i know it will seem hard, but you know in your heart of hearts that this girl isnt right for you. the best you can do is avoid her. she might be on a path to destruction, but that doesnt mean you have to follow, no matter how much you love her. write a list of her 10 good points and 10 bad points and see how that measures up! good luck x

Answer 2

You can not find the solutions to your problems at the bottom of a bottel. There still there in the morning no matter what you do and the relationship dosen't sound like something you need in your life so stop the drinking and find you someone that will love you as much or more than you love her and someone that will want to be with you without the drinking. If you can't answer what you like about her than do you really love her? I would think about that for you might find that the answer is no. You do deserve better just keep telling yourself that and when you go to pick up a bottel pick up the phone instead and talk to a friend who cares or ask that friend to do something with you that dose not involve drinking. Good Luck and i wish you all the best with your problem

Answer 3

Im glad you are seeking help for it, are there people around that can help you, someone sensible that will help you to stop drinking? u also have to WANT to stop drinking. As for this girl u may think you love her right now but it sounds a little more like infatuation. And she certainly doesnt sound like she loves you, and for a relationship to work u both need to feel the same.
U have got into a destructive relationship with a destructive girl and have now started to self destruct through drink.
U need to sort out your drinking and most importantly to start recognising your own self worth and think about what else u want from life, forget about this girl and start concentrating on yourself, and surround yourself with people who care for u (your friends) and make sure u attend your appointment and stick to it! life will get better.
xx

Answer 4

You have found yourself in a co-dependency relationship where she is the dominant partner and you are the submissive. This is highly dangerous and I suggest you seriously consider whether it is love you feel because infatuation can feel an awful lot like it.
Sorry to sound so obvious but...I don't think you do drink to forget, I think you have a tendency towards drinking anyway and you have found that this relationship which was to provide you with validation has back fired on you.

If I am wrong...I apologise.

Answer 5

My x partner was like your x girl,
I didnt really drink until i met him,he was out every thurs-sun spending a fortune on alcohol.
I ended up the same,i put 2 stone on,lost alot of my friends coz i was always drunk.
My x was also abusive with drink,hed spit in my face when we were out,we had a flat and he used to wreck it leaving me to clean up then the next day he'd say he didnt remember anything,after a while i came to realise that that was his cop-out.
The easiest way for some-one to get out of responsibility is to say they dont remember.
It seems your x has many problems and if she has a drink problem then you drinking with her isnt that answer,especially if violence plays a part.
You have only been together for 6 months and you have already come down to drinking alot with her,
fighting and being abusive and abused
,all this in 6 months,is it really all worth it?
Stay away from this girl so she can get the help she needs and you will also benefit from the break.
You need to stop drinking,alcohol isnt the answer,
my x had a heart attack at 19 through all the alcohol he drank,give your body a rest from alcohol,you will be suprised at how much you DONT need it.
My family and friends were relieved when i left my x coz they watched me go from a fun loving girl.always out for a laugh and having lots of friends to a girl who was never out of the pub,getting fat and basically not looking after myself.
I left my x 6 years ago and havent looked back since.
You too can get this behind you but firstly you need to stop drinking,it doesnt resolve anything and your problems never go away coz your never in a right frame of mind to make decisions to help yourself.
My x was married with a baby on the way 10 months after we split up,
people like my x and your x will only ever attract people like themselves coz lets face it,
if you work all week you wouldnt put up with anyone free loading off you.
Get yourself a new goal and stop drinking

Answer 6

Ok, first things first - abuse in a relationship -whether it be the man or the woman doing it - IS WRONG. so from that aspect you need to steer well clear of this girl....you deserve so much better than that.

My advice would be to ask her to stop drinking at the same time you do and find out if you get along without it - if she cant give up the drink for you then she doesn't feel as strongly for you as you do for her.

I gave up drinking for a year for my man, he didn't trust people when they had had a drink because of his ex - she used to be a jeckle and hyde when she had had a drink. so for a year I went without, then started re-introducing it slowly, because our trust had built up, I enjoy drinking and he knows that he can trust me when I am drunk (also drinking gets me horny - so he's quite keen on it now).

You need to be with someone who your compatible with.

Good luck

x

Answer 7

Please don't drink, it won't help you, it just makes things worse. I see that you are going to have help which is very good and a brave step to take. It must be awfully difficult to get to the point where you admit you need help so you have done well, congratulate yourself, don't mope over this girl; she obviously isn't worth it, which is something you 'll come to realise once you start getting your help - just hang on - stuff yourself with chocolate - no only joking - I've never been in your position, but I can see how cut up you are about it please please hang on.

Answer 8

Sorry dude. Is she worth you unless you both get it sorted? I clung onto someone who was disabled from the neck up, and they just made me part of their system. Talk with a pro. about the booze and identify where and when and why it's a prob. - you can get to see someone quicker than that. Losing control of booze is a pisser and can be very easy to do. Don't risk being harmed!

Answer 9

You are going to have to forget her, and drinking is not how to do it. If she was abusive to you then you put yourself in danger. I would say get help for your drinking, and try to meet other women. You don't love her. You think that you do.

OK man good luck.

Answer 10

Drinking to forget has never helped me. It makes me remember all the more.

As for why you miss her, it's probably seperation anxiety. Just give it time, go back to your normal routine and above all, DON'T contact her!

As for the Drinking, go cold Turkey.