Sleeping in own bed.?

Question

I am a single mom with a 2 yr old and when she was first born I went through all the "first time mom syndrome" things and my daughter has slept with me from day one. Now I think she needs to sleep in her own bed. But it seems impossible. Any suggestions on how to make this hard transition a little easier?

Answer 1

I'm right there with you! I'm a single mom and my daughter slept in the bed with me...well, starting at a week old. It happened because I would nurse lying down at night...and fall asleep. I didn't mean to, but it was just so hard to stay up at night since I had to do everything alone. Eventually, I got used to her being there and I felt that was the best option...and she wouldn't sleep in her bassinet or crib.

After I stopped nursing, I tried putting her in her own bed. Didn't work. I didn't know what to do!

Well, I came across this article in Parenting Magazine. I read through it and I thought "why not?" I was desparate and ready to try ANYTHING! (I won't go through details here b/c I'll include a link to the article...it'd take too much time to say it all). The first night, it took me about an hour and a half to get my daughter to sleep. The next night...thirty minutes. And for the next 3 nights, about fifteen minutes. After that, I was able to get her to sleep in under 5 mintues. Now, it's a miracle. I lay her down, cover her up and leave. I've come back in her room about 45 minutes later and sometimes, she'll just be lying there in the dark awake...but not crying b/c she knows it's bedtime and quiet time. (That part is a bit sad, but she knows to try to go to sleep). Anywho. The article states that it's not supposed to be torture for you or her. Remember that!!! That helped a lot that there is a method where they condone you picking up your kid if you really want to...it not illegal and you won't be shot! :) I had to do that the first day, but hey...it worked! After a week and a half, I didn't have a problem...just stick with it. I know 1.5 hours is a lot, but it worked for me and it's SOOO worth it. If you're like me, you're probably sore by now sleeping with your daughter. My daughter was attached to me in bed so I couldn't move around or lay comfortably, etc. And I always had to sleep lightly so I would know if she was close to the edge of the bed.

One other thing. She's at the age where her imagination is growing. My daughter has Mr. Ducky and she LOVES him. He's one of those little TINY blanket things with the animal heads (I don't know if there's a name for it) and I always tell her Mr. Ducky will protect her. I tell her if she wakes up scared, just hug Mr. Ducky. She will grab him and hold him while going to sleep. Well, she obviously tries it, but sometimes it doesn't help. Last night, she woke up scared as can be. She was standing in her bed crying and I said, "Where's Mr. Ducky? You're supposed to hug him." She had him already! :) It was too cute. The other night, she woke up and started giving him kisses and saying, "Mwah!" It was just sweet as can be...but she's grown fond of him. I think he helps her. So maybe you could try giving your daughter a "Mr. Ducky" to protect her and help her through the night.

Good luck! And here's the article...

http://www.parenting.com/parenting/baby/article/0,19840,648423_1,00.html?topic=12013

Answer 2

My first born didn't see his own room until he was almost three. What I did to help this transition take place is to buy a really good baby monitor so you can hear her every more and feel more comfortable about being away from her. Baby proof the whole house including doors if you haven't already done so. Then decorate her room in her favorite thing. My son's room is done in blue's clues and he loves being in there. Now the first week will be hard because she will probably cry because she is not in the bed with you. Stand strong and make her stay in her bed. If you give in, even once, it will make the transition even harder for the both of you. I wish you all the luck.

Answer 3

I know I will probably make some people mad and honestly it is not my intention and I will go ahead and apologize, but I have to completly disagree with the tv thing. TV needs to be limited and a child needs to learn how to fall asleep all on their own with nothing. Just like sleeping in your bed, if you start tv or music and then try to stop it later, or go out of town where that is not an option you are still going to have the same problem. Start bedtime routine about a hour before actual bedtime. Keep it quite with soft music and nice calm warm bath and snuggle down with a good book. At first she is going to have a hard time. Be consistent and patient. Tell her she is a big girl now and big girls get to sleep in their own bed. The first time she sleeps in her own bed even if you had to get up and put her back a thousand time make a HUGE deal out of it. My son slept with my dh and I until three. The first night he slept in his bed all night (we had to put him back a couple of times) we woke him up and praised and patted his back and did a silly dance and song about staying in his bed all night. It will NOT be easy but well worth it. My children are 5 and 2 and sleep in there beds all night.

Answer 4

While my husband was in Iraq for a year, our 22 month old slept with me. I knew my husband wouldn't like him in our bed so I made a slow transition back. First, I went to Toys R Us and let him pick out his very own "big boy" bed. I let him help me put it together and made a very big deal about the whole thing. I started by putting him in his bed at night and telling him that mommy was going to take a shower, clean up, etc and then I would be back to get him and take him to bed with me. He never fought it. Eventually, I started telling him that he was going to sleep in his bed all night and he was okay with that.... as long as he had his blanket and teddy bear. My husband's been home 3 weeks now and it's been working out fine. Good luck.

Answer 5

Do it gradually. let her fall asleep in your bed than move her to her bed. Make sure shes familiar with the room and bed first. When she wakes up take her into your bed than move her again if you can. You can keep doing this for a few weeks than when shes comfortable with it try putting her down in her own room. Read to her before bed. She will like to hear the sound of your voice while trying to sleep. Good luck!

Answer 6

First of all, there is nothing wrong with her being in your bed. We didn't let our first two sleep with us but have with numbers 3 and 4. Personally, I love it and DH loves being awakened in the morning to little hands patting his back.

But, yes, the time comes to put them in their bed. Start by laying down with her at nap time in her bed with her and then transition to her napping alone. Don't "abandon" her. Eventually just stay in the room (but don't hold her or talk with her). Being in the room with her while she is upset is much different than leaving her alone to deal with it. Slowly move out day by day until she is used to it. Then start working on nights.

Be patient and be strong. It is hard when they get upset over it not to just pick them up and cuddle them to sleep.

Answer 7

Yes, wait about 4 years and it will be easy. Babies evolved to sleep with their moms and your child is still a baby.

If you're a single mom, it's also likely your child spends more than 10 hours a week apart from you, which research shows puts your child at great risk of emotional, physical, social, and intellectual deficits.

Being there for her at night is a way you can help offset any such separation. If she is cared for by someone else much of the day, she really is apart from you enough. SHe would be harmed, not helped, by putting her in her own room.

It's not 'first time mom' syndrome. babies evolved to sleep with their moms. it's actually giving your baby what she NEEDS, not wants.

Answer 8

He is going by way of stages. He's 2yrs and a pair of months historic and for the final couple of months it is been extra problematic to get him to mattress. Ever when you consider that Christmas, New Years Eve, and many others. plenty of loved ones circumstances and matters that intended past due bedtimes for him have disillusioned his time table. At the second I must lie with him and cuddle him to get him to sleep, which will take whatever among quarter-hour and a pair of hours relying on his temper, if it is a lengthy night time often I simply come to be falling asleep earlier than he does and spend the night time in his little infant mattress lol. Before this segment he used to fall asleep high-quality, I would placed him in mattress, kiss him goodnight and depart and that could be it. Blissful days! But he is had extra problematic patches too ago wherein I've needed to lie with him or do managed crying, whichever works high-quality for him on the time (there were stages wherein he hasn't allowed me to lie with him to sleep and could scream if I placed him to mattress any time earlier than the early hours (that used to be the effect of jet lag which lasted a couple of weeks with him) so managed crying used to be the one solution to pass). Hopefully this segment will finish too quickly and he's going to return to being convenient peasy!

Answer 9

Maybe try putting a TV in her room. She should like the teletubbies at this age. My child is 20 months old, just recently discovered them, now I cant get her outta her room. I also let her sleep with me but only until she was about 9 months old, and luckily she went right to her bed. But she had a tv in her room since she was born. People may think that's a bad idea, but i think it helps. get one of them new glade light shows, she would really dig that i bet. i have 3 in her room, along with 2 sparkley night lights, and a black light. She stays in her room playing and watching tv almost all day. well about 4 hours a day, and she actually starting talking more because they teletubbies talk in a language that's easy for her to repeat.

Answer 10

well my little sister just turned 4 yesteday ans she likes to sleep with my older sister not my mom but the best thing would probobaly be to waitt ill she goes to sleep and then put her in her own bed and when she wakes up she might discover that it's not so bad to sleep in her bed but u have to make it special and feel comforatable