My boyfriend and I got into a fight and I had to call the police on him. This is the second time I had to call the police on him. We have been together almost six years and I love him but I don't think I can put up with his antics anymore. There is more that he does that I can't get into but I really do love him and I know he really loves me. Should I tell him that we could be friends but we can't be lovers? What should I do? I need some serious help and I don't know what to do! Please help!!!!
2006-12-20 00:47:53 · 19 answers · asked by temptingreeta 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If this is the second time calling the police you have really got to see why you even want to be with him at all. Anyone that truly loves you would never hurt you to where you need the police to help. No matter how long you have been with him it seems that there are issues that you cannot resolve and maybe he isn't the one for you. You have to be the one who decides where you want to go with this realtionship...maybe you should get away from this man and spend time elsewhere to see if you really need him in your life. Time apart can really be an eye opener. Take some time for yourself. When you are ready to move on you will know. Only you walk in your shoes so no one can judge you but yourself. You are the one who controls your destiny. Maybe ask yourself where you want to be in six more years....?
2006-12-20 01:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by alymarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell him that it won't work out. If you got in a fight where the police was actually an issue (twice), things are going downhill already. If you truly want to let him go, talk to him about what you feel, and have a close friend right beside you so if he goes into another fit of rage, then you'll have someone who can quickly call the police without excessive damage done.
But if you think that there's still a tiny chance that it can work, try and rekindle the fire by buying him something nice that's unexpected and being nice(r than usual) to him.
Good luck!
2006-12-20 08:53:29 · answer #2 · answered by i6am6satan6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be hard, but I think you should split up with him. Tell him that you can't cope with his behaviour - it sounds like he has been utterly unreasonable and this isn't the first time. He needs to know that you won't tolerate this behaviour. Explain to him why you're splitting up with him. It might be a good idea to take a ltitle time out afterwards - it's always weird between exes at first. He may, seeing how serious you are, clean up his act and try to win you back. Only take him if you're sure that he's changed.
If you still aren't sure, try making an ultimatum that he changes his behaviour and perhaps gets professional help. You could always go tto relationship counselling together. If he refuses to admit he has a problem, then sadly he's probably more trouble than he's worth.
2006-12-20 08:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by Helen B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calling the police once is too many times. You should get out while you can. It will start to consume your every thought. You will change as a person to deal with this man. The longer you stay the more dependent you will become on this "antic" filled relationship. It is hard because you want to "save" him from himself and be the one who rescues him and forgives him and is the only one who stands by him during this crap. It isn't worth it! You need to worry about yourself and being happy without the drama.
2006-12-20 08:56:57 · answer #4 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming since you called police we are talking about some sort of abuse. I am a professional counselor and i can tell you abuse only increases unless the abusing individual gets some help in anger management. If your boyfriend refuses to get some help i would highly recommend you break it off with him, I can almost guarantee you he will threaten you but please don't let those threats stop you from breaking it off.. Tell others that you have and tell him others know to keep watch on you. Tell him you do love him but cannot continue unless he seeks help, that you won't be part of an abusive relationship.
2006-12-20 08:57:25 · answer #5 · answered by incontrol_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No friends, no lovers, no neighbors.
You are an amazing person without anybody else.
He is sucking the life out of you and will continue to do it as long as you enable him to do so.
If you say "friends only", he will be more than happy to agree, because he knows you and he knows that it will soon be "friends with benefits" and no guilt at all.
I've been in a relationship like that, and you don't even realize it until it's too late and you are hurt.
2006-12-20 08:53:46 · answer #6 · answered by sixgun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all why did u have to call the police? Is he violent or something?..I really can't answer this without more info. I can tell u if u guys aren't even married and are having these kind of problems it probably won't get better just worse.
2006-12-20 08:52:23 · answer #7 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek couples counseling together to help sort out problems and seek solutions.
If not, cut all ties because it doesn't sound like you could be friends with this guy if you're having to contact the police to control his "antics", get out of this situation if you guys aren't willing or able to work on it.
2006-12-20 08:50:25 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel the need to call the cops on him you can not be friends with him nor can you be lovers. Although this may hurt to hear the both of you are not suited for each other. Find a man who will love you with all of his heart and not abuse you
2006-12-20 08:56:58 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normal people do not do things to hurt the ones they love. If you had to call the police it must have been pretty bad. You say he does other things as well. I don't understand why people want to be with someone who does not respect and treat them nice. There is someone out there who will be good to you. Leave him and do ot have contact with him. He is not going to change. Good Luck.
2006-12-20 08:54:31 · answer #10 · answered by Barry W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋