I keep on wanting to stab myself and having thoughts about harming myself. How can I stop this?

Question

In public places, when I'm around people, I don't want them to suffer my company, and so I want to tear my eyes out so they know I can't see them. I want to be mute, so I can't hurt people with my words. I want to be deaf so they will know I am not listening to their conversations. I don't want to be a burden to people. It seems sensible to think these things, but there's a part of me that knows it is wrong. I just want to stab my heart, I haven't tried it, I don't think I would be strong enough, but I always imagine it in class and when I'm around people.

I feel fine some of the time though, I feel safe in some places. Like when I'm not concentrating on how I feel, I'm okay. And when I'm with certain people I'm okay. These thoughts just come. Maybe I'll stop feeling them. I don't want to see a doctor incase they go away, and then I'll feel stupid for involving someone when there was no need.

I am not on any medication, and never have been. I only sampled the melatonin and sampled St Johns Wort - I'm not very good with sticking with drugs to be honest!

Answer 1

You need to talk to a doctor and get some therapy;

Answer 2

You have a serious problem and you need help from a professional, I am sure they can help you. However, I can promise you that even if this is what you might feel you want, it really isn't what you want.

Even though your problem sounds severe I think it is probably not that uncommon, everyone has feelings of low self worth sometimes. You have to keep in mind that no matter what, there are at least a few people in this world who value you and care about you. That doesn't make you a burden, it makes you a part of the community.

I have an idea that just comes from my own experience, you can try joining an internet message board on a topic you like, like music or sports. That way you can try expressing yourself in a public way that still offers some anonymity. You might find that it isn't so bad to have people listen to your ideas and give feedback.

Answer 3

I agree with what everyone else has said.

You've made the first step acknowledging that something isn't right.

You need to go to your GP who should be able to refer you to a nearby counselling or pyschotherapy centre, who can help you deal with what you are feeling and get to the bottom of it. There are many therapies and treatments out there to help those who want to self harm or who are feeling troubled.

There are also lots of books, self help groups and online documents out there. But I'd firstly go to the GP first. Ask at your surgery if there is a GP who specialises in mental health or dealing with psychotherapy, and aim to see that doctor.

In the mean time, try and keep a diary of your notes and feelings, find someone to talk to, and perhaps find some books or online website who should be able to help a little.

Good luck sweetheart, and don't worry, you aren't alone and you can beat whatever it is thats troubling you.

Answer 4

Can i just tell you i accidentally stabbed my hand last week, really stabbed it and it hurt like absolute hell, seriously. The pain shot up my arm, almost made me faint and it went on for hours and hours, this is NOT something you want to do.

Your feeling down and depressed so stabbing yourself will only give you the same feelings with incredible pain as well, so not a good idea really.

Find a good friend to talk to, the pain you are feeling now is in your head and you need to deal with that rather than anything phsyical.

Answer 5

You are experiencing a panic attack. Try to mentally calm yourself down. Close your eyes and try to block out the noise. Take as many deep and slow breaths as you can. Know that it is going to be okay. Get up and go to the bathroom or to some other semi-private place if this doesn't work. Again, try to take some deep and slow breaths.

You are not weird. People think and feel these types of things all the time but they just push them out of their head. You are just more aware of your thoughts.

Answer 6

It seems to me you have no one close enough that you can share this problem with. And it is ONLY a temporary problem. If you trust your GP, see him/her first - you will be surprised how understanding they are - so up-to-date on these 'hiccups' that we go through from time to time.
Don't let it go on too long, sort it out as soon as possible, even if it means taking prescribed medication for a while. Stop being negative and start on the positive and make that first step to see your GP.
I really want you to come out of this - as a new person!

Answer 7

u have a terrible problem with
self-worth,
self-esteem
self-respect.

JOY ARE U STILL TAKING THE MELATONIN?

i think u may be having a terrible reaction to it if u are. this is fairly classic of a psychiatric allergic reaction. please see ur gp as soon as u can, telling him all the medications u have been taking.

u may also need to seek psychiatric assistance. please go thru your gp immediately. i know exactly what i am talking about.
my ex had a history of self harm.she had numerous suicide attempts. even when i first knew her, she self-harmed to gain attention from me. she did not need to. i loved her anyway.
that was nearly 20 years ago. she still carries the scars of self- harm. we both wish she hadn't, believe me.
she and i have 3 children. she has matured into a fine woman and is still my best friend. if u self harm or worse u may never get the chance to b the person u really can be. there is always someone who loves u. if u want further assistance, email me.
r u in the uk or the states?

if u r in uk and want advice now please see nhs direct.
http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk

Answer 8

it sounds like the only things you care about are other people and their opinions.

as i'm sure you know, this is pretty unhealthy.

in most cases, this kind of feeling goes away with age. i know that sounds cliche and condescending, but i'm not trying to insult or offend you. it's just a fact that most people go through phases.

anyway, here is MY take on the situation: you obviously have self worth issues. for some reason, you've decided that other people are more important than you. well, the truth is that ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL. none of us have the right to judge anybody else. you need to realize that your life and happiness are just as important as anyone else's.

Answer 9

I had this problem and I did actually kill myself. Things are much better now I'm dead. I was buried with my PDA and I can still get online. I've sort of fixed two problems really cos not only did i think that people were finding me offensive but i thought that in general people around me were quite disgusting. I lived in London, if you've ever been you'll know what I'm saying.

Answer 10

Yup. you have anger themes that stem from an exceedingly youthful age (teenage, it appears like). you need to learn from some journeys to a shrink or a counciler. :) Take it from me, you do no longer opt to embarass your self and others by using reacting the way you're to exhibit activities. you need to shop information which you would be disappointing or perhaps scaring human beings around you, and that it is not healthful to your techniques or your physique. you could desire to locate some different thank you to project your anger. case in point, reasoning that a reasonably stressful adventure (consisting of a divorce, or your mom getting married to a distinctive guy) occurs to a pair of million/2 of all teenagers interior usa. are you able to think of what number teenagers have long exceeded by using that interior the full international? it particularly is frustrating yet you're actual no longer on my own in any of your activities. some human beings have long exceeded by using worse with out having to punch the partitions every time they pass by using it. it particularly is great which you're ill of feeling like this, cuz which potential your techniques needs substitute. to alter, you the two ought to calm your self down and do it your self, or settle for help from somebody close or somebody expert. Do regardless of it takes~

Answer 11

Just think of all of the people who will miss you when you decide to harm yourself and then wind up dying. People dont care if u hear them or look at them. They dont care what other people think just know that your loved ones are there to support you and are also wanting u to have a better life so dont give up now you have so much to see in life