Is it rude to take or ask for second helpings at a dinner or small party?

Question

If no one else has taken any and the host(ess) hasn't offered it either.

What is man's link? Is it some kind of virus website?

Answer 1

You might break the ice by saying "that Lasagna (or whatever) was delicious, may I have just a little more please?" Someone else mayy want seconds, too, but be too shy to say so and you would pave the way. If you get a chilly reception, or no one else follows suit, then I definitely wouldn't take more of anything else. Most gracious and warm hostesses would definitely offer her guests to eat as much as they would like.
However, if you happen to be a person who is even slightly overweight, I would not make that first icebreaking move to ask for seconds, because you know how rude people can be behind your back and sometimes to your face. Sorry to say it, but it happens that way, people are aware of an overweight person's eating but a skinny person can eat like a horse and it's fine.

Answer 2

I looked on Emily Post web site and was unable to find the answer (but included the website if you care to search for yourself)

But in my opinion (as I do entertain quite a bit) if it is buffet style, by all means, after everyone has had one helping, go ahead and have seconds.

If however the meal is served by the plates already being fixed and brought to the table, it's best not to ask for seconds as the host may not have enough for seconds.

If you find you have a larger appetite than most(as my husband does), try eating a snack before parties where you are unsure if seconds will be available to you.

Or bring an appetizer, fruit or extra side dish to the party as your hostess gift. This will a lot you a bit more food.

Answer 3

If you are at a buffet style dinner, it is perfectly acceptable to go back for seconds, as long as everyone else has already served themselves. If that's the case, and you still aren't sure, absolutely compliment the hostess on the food. Most likely she will then offer you more. If she doesn't (very poor manners) then I wouldn't go back for more. If it's a pre-plated dinner at someones house (the hostess brings the meal out of the kitchen with your servings on it), you shouldn't outright ask, but should again employ the "that pasta was wonderful" technique. If she has made enough, then she will offer you an additional helping.

Answer 4

Depends upon what they're serving... if ti's individual pork chops or shrimp cocktails, 1 for each person, then no. But if it's froma big bowl on the table or buffet, everyone is served, and there's half left, certainly!

If you feel squeamish, you may say something like "Wanda, this Chicken Pasta is fabulous... would you mind terribly if I got a wee bit more?" I'm sure then they'll tell you to help yourself!

IMO, the host/hostess are just as petrified as the guests, and are not thinking you may want more food... they're busy thinking up conversation starters, hoping they have enough wine, realized they've left the bread to burn in the oven, and are not even thinking folks may want mroe! I would be complimented as a hostess if someone asked for more!

Answer 5

If your host(ess) hasn't offered, then I wouldn't ask. Maybe the haven't offered because they didn't make enough food, and they are embarassed.

Just make a mental note that the next time they invite you, to have a snack before dinner.

Answer 6

no it is not bad to ask. you should at least give it a go and see what they say. if they say that you cant have seconds just say that you are sorry for asking and ask them if you can finish any food that they do not eat. also, if no one has taken any seconds look around and see if they are still eating or talking to someone. that may be the reason why they havent taken seconds yet. if the host(ess) hasnt offered it give it a little time then ask them.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Well I suppose you should probably make some subtle signs that you want more, like checking how much is left or looking at the food, so that the host(ess) will you ask you and then politely say yes.

Answer 9

If you serve yourself and there is plenty of food left after all have taken their servings, your host/ hostess would probably take it as a compliment that you enjoyed what they offered. But if you receive a plate that has been prepared by someone else, you should wait to be offered.

Answer 10

no its not a problem. Most hosts would take that as a compliment...that you enjoyed the food.

If its REALLY formal and asking for seconds is an ordeal...compliment the host on the food, that should have him/her offer more.

But politely asking for more should never be in appropriate....if it is then i think your host may be just mean!