How can I get my family to stop making degrading comments about me being a vegetarian?

Question

I am raising my children as vegetarians, as well, and it is very upsetting to me EVERY HOLIDAY when someone has to roll their eyes or make a comment about what we don't eat. I do not comment about what they eat at all. It is very disrespectful.

And please don't say "Eat meat."

Answer 1

Unfortunately, you can't divorce your family, which is what I'd really like to recommend! lol ;}

However, it is nearly impossible to get them to stop, unless you haven't tried just asking nicely.

Remind them that you're not asking them to change their lifestyle, you're only asking them to respect your choice.

If that doesn't work, maybe you could go guerrilla on them, and try to "convert" them by telling them all of the reasons that THEY should change, and bring over films/documentaries about meat processing plants, slaughterhouses, and even Charlotte's Web. Maybe if you aggravate them enough, they'll lay off!

GOOD LUCK, and at the very least, try not to let it bother you...if that's the worst thing that you have to deal with with your family at the holidays, you're pretty lucky!

Answer 2

If your family is anything like mine... they are probably more concerned about you "making" your kids eat a veggie diet than they are about what YOU choose to eat for yourself. I would print out some info on children and vegetarianism. Up till recently...and even still... many doctors discourage a vegetarian diet for kids. I am NOT saying they're right... they are basing their opinions on OLD FACTS! I mean, even for meat eaters, there is a lot of talk about how the old "food pyramid" we all had engrained into our heads needs to be revamped.

Do some research (I'm sure you can find plenty of reputable sources online) and print the best of it. Be armed with all the benefits of a vegetarian lifestyle for both you AND your children. Then when the comments start flying, you can present your facts. Once they realize that it's a healthy choice, hopefully they'll lay off.

Answer 3

I've found that these kind of reactions (meaning your family's reactions) are based on an uncomfortable feeling that they are being judged, even if you have never said anything. Your rejection of eating meat is a rejection of their lifestyle, and by extension you don't "approve" of what they eat. Because most vegetarians don't eat meat on a moral/ethical basis, there is the implication that those who do are immoral, so I think their reactions are coming from a defensive standpoint.

Have you tried talking to them about it? Just have a calm, rational discussion of why you choose to be vegetarian, and ask why they feel the need to comment upon it.

Answer 4

To be honest I would just ignore it and smile sweetly. I think if you rise to the bait' it will only make them comment more. I think some people enjoy others getting defensive.

However if you really feel you need to say something be armed with some facts and figures. If they say for example that growing children should have mat as they ned protin make sure that you can explain that 'protein is easily found in vegetarian food and that it is heathier because it doesnt have the saturated fats as well' or whatever. You may find this article a useful starting point : http://www.recipesforvegans.co.uk/vegannutrition.html

Answer 5

Tell that person that those comments are rude & hurt your feelings. Most people don't "think" before they speak. I bet they don't realize how they sound or make you feel.Don't let them fob it off as you being overly sensitive either, once they know they should stop.
If it continues then a proper manners talk may be needed. Sad but people say the worst things to family., things they would never ever consider saying to non-family members. It's part of what causes so much family tension at the holidays. If family members were as kind to each other as they are to strangers life would be good..no great.
Good luck.

Answer 6

When my bro-in-law decided on a vegetarian lifestyle, most everyone gave him an incredibly difficult time. I think one of the biggest reasons is out of ignorance and of fear - they can't believe that not eating meat can possibly be healthy. My b-i-l was very defensive at first, and that only seemed to encourage them to harass him more about it (maybe they thought they were getting close to changing his mind or something, I don't know). Even him explaining his reasons really didn't help much - some people just aren't THERE yet, you know?! Once he took on a more lighthearted attitude, and started joking a bit about it (like, "I prefer foraging for berries than being the hunter", which sounded funny coming from a big burly guy, and stuff like that), it took a lot of tension out of the situation. Also, make sure you're not commenting to others about their meat-eating habits, or asking them to change things to accommodate your eating habits - people very much get stuck into tradition and get very defensive if they think you're attacking that. Just remember - and teach your children this, too - what they're doing is rude and disrespectful, and to understand from where it comes from - fear and ignorance. Good luck!

Answer 7

Honey, I feel terrible for you. No one wants to be the subject of controversy at the family gathering! I have been veggie for 25 years and have heard it all, but my family has always been supportive and many of them now eat mainly veggie, eating meat only occassionally. There may be two approaches you can take. I once had a friend who used to tease me about eating tofu. One night I made tofu parmigiana for him. He loved it so much that he actually began cooking it himself!! Some other items that I have found win people over: Morningstar sausage links, which taste better than real sausages; Morningstar Grillers Prime, which in a hamburger bun tastes exactly like burgers. Of course, it does not have to be a meat substitute, but it helps when trying to show a diehard meat eater that your way is not impossible.
The second thing would be to make a short list of "good reasons to be vegetarian" and carry it in your pocket at all times. When they annoy you, annoy them back by reading it to them! Be sure to include things like: "Because I am not afraid of change" "I don't need to prove my superiority over animals by eating them" "Our closest animal ancestors are veggie" - you get the picture. If they are a tough group you may have to resort to more shocking statements such as "Because I don't want my children grinding the flesh of dead animals between their teeth" but let's hope it won't come to that. I think that your family will lay off if they see that each time they mock you, you calmly get your list out and start reading. Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

I was so close to saying "eat meat", but only in jest.

One of my coworkers is very much into eating healthy foods, which is fine, but always makes a comment whenever somebody orders fried food (like fries or onion rings) when we eat lunch together. I just brush it off pretty much, and I think that's what you need to do as well.

Besides, your discomfort is likely showing through and affecting your children's perception of their vegetarian diet (and therefore, themselves). Be more confident about your decision to be a vegetarian, and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. If you feel their negative behavior affects your children, then you need to speak up and communicate what you are feeling with these people.

Your family may not realize that they are making you feel uncomfortable. It is your responsibility to explain your feelings to them. You should not expect them to "just know".

Answer 9

I have had the same problem, not with my family but with my friends. I've been a vegetarian since I was 12 and just don't really like the idea of eating muscle and animal parts. It makes me sick to my stomach. Just tell them that it's a healthier lifestyle choice, and you prefer to raise you children that way. It's not as hard as people think to accommodate a vege diet either. Pasta dishes, salad, vegetables, bread and other items are common at most Christmas dinners.

Answer 10

First things first...Forget tyring to "make" people do anything... It just gets worse for you.

One good thing to consider is how other people feel when you reject what they cook for you. Regardless of what you say... it will feel like you either hate what they make OR that their choice to eat meat is wrong.

A simple suggestion:

Bringing your own dish may impose a bit, but it has it's benefits...

Number one: you are filling your plate leaving no room to look like you are rejecting the host's offerings.

Number two: You are potentially introducing others to the idea that vegetarian dishes can taste good. Most people don't bother to make veg food for themselves, but put it in front of them and people will try it.

It's the season of perpetual hope, and sharing. Share your feelings honestly, simply. Forgive those who trespass against your choices to eat better. Food is such a social entity. Hoping to change attitudes is daunting... Keep your spirits up...!

Answer 11

I've been coping with this for 8 years...and my father in law's the worst, with the comments such as "I saved the biggest steak for you," or actually picking up meat and acting like he's putting it on my plate, then laughing. The rest of my family is getting better...actually, my father in law's the only one that does it anymore really. It goes away with time, but, for now, Print out some facts concerning the health benefits of vegetarianism, especially in children, and give them the what's up!