He claims he was a virgin and that i'm his first and i've had 2 sexual partners. He's getting extremely upset with me and telling me that i'm accusing him of having HIV. He said he took a test 5 years ago for it before he came to the U.S. and is upset with me that i won't take his word. I've tried to have him take this test even when i didn't know what my results were and he refused then and even now. What should i do?
2006-12-08 06:07:08 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
dont have sex with him until he takes the test. Simple, or break up with him
2006-12-08 06:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by Buddah 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he was a virgin, why did he have himself tested???????
Even if he can provide the results of the test taken 5 years ago, this is outdated and doesn't reflect his current status. He seems to be overly upset and over reactive to your request. That he claims you are accusing him of having HIV is extremist and defensive and may actually be a technique to avoid having to know for sure. I don't buy the virgin story.
He has the right to refuse to be tested. You also have the right to insist that he wear a condom each and every time. And you have the right to break up with an unreasonable and possibly dishonest person.
FYI to all: He may be afraid that another STD will show up but an HIV test will not disclose any condition other than an HIV status.
2006-12-08 06:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by TweetyBird 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do know that you would have to have 3 tests for HIV spaced roughly 3 months apart each, but if you had sex 9 years ago then I would have thought that the one test for HIV would be enough, however, for some one that has more regular sex or has been been thru a sex attack the tests are carried out over a period of time. At least that is the way it was when I was back home (Zimbabwe). You should maybe speak to your doc to clarify.
2016-05-23 07:04:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my mind someone who "refuses" to get an HIV test is not worth dating, and is ignorant to the impact HIV has had on our world. If he has nothing to worry about, then that's fine, but out of love and respect for you and the relationship you 2 have he should prove to you without a doubt that you have no reason to be concerned. Do not have sex with him until he agrees to get a test and agrees to you going w/ him to have the test. If he still refuses, lose him. If you are naive and stay with him, then at the very least make him wear a condom if you haven't been.
2006-12-08 06:22:17 · answer #4 · answered by b-box 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Then don't have sex with him. Just because a test was negative 5 years ago, doesnt mean it will be now. HIV can be dormant(undetectable) up to 15 years!! Be in control of you and your body. The choices are out there and the decision is yours. You can't make someone do anything unless maybe with force, but why would you do that? You can't make him get tested and he can't (legally) make you have sex!! Its simple sweetie...keep it simple.
2006-12-08 06:27:53 · answer #5 · answered by somebodys_watchn_you 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The HIV test is extremely simple and virtually painless. If he's refusing to do this for you, I'd seriously question why you are staying with him. This is an extremely reasonable and VERY responsible request on your part. The fact he's unwilling to make even the smallest personal sacrifice for your peace of mind suggests to me that he's not worth your attention to begin with.
2006-12-08 06:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by Meg 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If this means that much to you, I'd say "no sex" until he gets the test. But I think your boyfriend's reaction is a symptom of a larger problem. He seems to be very insecure to be this bothered by your very reasonable request. If I was you, I would be more concerned about what else might upset him that you might ask of him over the years (if you stay together). Something else is going on in his head and I'd encourage you to find out what it is before committing to him.
2006-12-08 06:20:39 · answer #7 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there
Basically if you have a negative test, you have a 3 months window where can change to positive, so my recommendation is wait for 3 months, and do the test again. With respect with your boyfriend tell him, the sexual transmission of this disease is not the only way to get the virus, blood transfusions also.
tell him the reason, is for his reassurance and also yours.
Keep in mind this is a serious disease, you can prevent having safe sex.
Good luck!!!
2006-12-08 06:19:28 · answer #8 · answered by Eruditus 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he truely loves you than he will take the test...no questions asked.
If he doesn't, than you are dealing with an immature and selfish little boy who is not worthy of you.
If he does take the test, demand to see the results on paper...or go with him. I wouldn't trust someone like him.
Sounds like this guy is a jerk though, and you are better off moving on!!
2006-12-08 06:20:43 · answer #9 · answered by SoCal NP 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is NOT the best thing to do....but you can get him to go give blood. They test for so many things before processing and if he was positive, they would contact him.
At least you would have an idea..
It would be nice if he could be open and just go get the dang test though!
2006-12-08 06:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by twest_dgo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you care about him and his life. Be specific that it's not a "power trip" but a serious matter. Simplicity is key. Toss a coin or something, that should get the ball rolling.
2006-12-08 07:01:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋