How do you catch a Haggis? Do they make good pets?

Question

mick184 Don't call me a retard, if you can see past that thick skull of yours, I'm just trying to give people a bit of a laugh, you simpleton

Answer 1

Its really hard cause there fast little animals, what you have to do is dig a hole in the soil, cover the hole with a net and then cover it with leave's and twigs and stuff so the haggis cant see the hole, make sure its a thick net cause they have big teeth and will just bite though the net, now the bait they love marshmallow's so just place sum on top of the twigs and all you have to do is wait be quite though cause they are smart animals, now the wait could be upto 3 days depending on the weather cause they only get hungary when its foggy, any how when one come's alone and its in the hole be careful cause they bite mind(take your hand off) so have a baseball bat ready and just batter it( make sure the haggis dont grap the bat and batter you with it(remember thick net so it cant move and bite though it) if it gets out your dead cause it hate's englishmen, you will find them in the highlands of scotland in the heather fields,

and of course they make great pets only if your scottish though,

Answer 2

The haggis is a wild animal that lives in the Scottish highlands, and used to be hunted by the wild hungry Scots. To appreciate haggis hunting you need to understand something about the beast. i) The legs on the opposite sides of the body are of different length (evolved from a life circling mountains). ii) It is easily scared. The hunting method is as follows; one person chases the haggis, while a strategically placed friend hides behind a bush. When the haggis is close enough to the bush they jump out screaming. This terrifies the haggis so much that it turns around and tries to flee, but because it has two short and two long legs, it rolls down the hill and drowns in the burn at the bottom. Because haggis are always hunted in this way they are never kept as pets, but only eaten.

Answer 3

A well proven method of catching haggis is to lay a trap for them,method 1,watch very cafefully the mating habits,when you spot a female haggis leave a trail of whiskey for one in small dishes,place the dishes about three feet apart following a trail to the pit you have dug when the haggis starts drinking the whiskey it wants more so it will sniff out the next dish and drink that as well enough dishes and the haggis will be so drunk that it falls into the pit got one,when sober it will call for help the male will hear and go to its aid then you will have a pair collect and take home be carefull as they will bite these are wild creatures

Answer 4

Haggis is very hard to catch! But you can spot them in the Highlands playing the bagpipes and dancing the 'strip the willow' with their mates at a shin dig! As for making good pets, I think they prefer to be in the wild! Although I am rather partial to a haggis with tatties and neaps!

Great Question BTW!

Answer 5

The answers about leg length are indeed correct and Ebenezeer has obviously got the best answer. My only point in addition is that this had been an excceedingly good breeding season for the Haggi and their numbers are well up on previous seasons. In fact so far up that we are organising a cull on Christmas day - please assemble near Fort William Golf Club about 3pm and bring your own clubs.

Answer 6

Haggis can't fly and they have one leg shorter than the other from running round mountains. If your haggis is running clockwise, run anti-clockwise and it won't be able to escape. Closely related to the legless 'oo me goolies' bird. So named because this is the cry it makes on landing. Some Welsh ornithologists maintain that the cry of the landing female sounds more like 'oo myfanwy' .

Answer 7

I thought you had to leave bait out....a good Scotch. And then you very carefully sneak up on it. This doesn't work during haggis mating season. Then, and this occurs in early April on alternate years, it is best to leave the rutting male haggi alone or they could bite.

Answer 8

Ha Ha ha, he he he!! Not you again, your soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funay!!!! I would love to see you walking a haggis on a lead!!! Good luck in your search for the perfect pet, haggis or faggots xxxxx

Answer 9

Great question! I love Ebenezer's answer!

Didn't Panorama or some erudite BBC TV programme do a spoof, maybe an April Fool's, about wild haggis? Anybody remember it?

Answer 10

How does one catch a unique haggis - you nique up on it.

How does one catch a tame haggis - the tame way.

(works better when spoken)