Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"
2006-12-01 23:56:31 · 12 answers · asked by anitha 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Thats funny but I have heard it before.
One for you
Six Classic Affairs
The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted,
they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside
and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my
secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"
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The 2nd Affair:
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked
about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling
around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"
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The 3rd Affair:
A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a
startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever
seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you
to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved
for posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"
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The 4th Affair:
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening
the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked
it so much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with
a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two
days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."
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The 5th Affair:
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and
a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
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The 6th Affair:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,
your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
Imtiyaz G
2006-12-02 00:06:48 · answer #1 · answered by Imtiyaz G 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
But Holmes, We Didn't Bring A Tent, You Said We'd Sleep Alfresco And Wait Up For Leonid's Tonight. Remember?
2006-12-02 08:05:44 · answer #2 · answered by Paul R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like that one Watson saw all that but couldn't realized that something simple was gone
2006-12-02 13:44:34 · answer #3 · answered by katie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats Sherlock for you
2006-12-02 07:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by wil_t52 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
superb quality of joke
2006-12-02 12:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by stone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a good one! LOL! =D
2006-12-02 07:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by lilypond868 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahahahah .... thats amazin man ...... u rock man 9.99 on 10 man
2006-12-02 09:15:47 · answer #7 · answered by amazed !!! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wtg that is soo funny!
2006-12-02 08:00:04 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol.
that was cute.
:]
2006-12-02 07:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by concrete_girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahaha...
2006-12-02 10:48:51 · answer #10 · answered by JT 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋